But I�m looking forward to the sun
You have to feel the pain
When you lose the love you gave someone
I thought by now the time
Would take away these lonely tears
I hope you�re doing fine all alone
But where do I go from here �cause�*~
She smiled sadly as she traced over the picture frame delicately with her finger. It lingered over his smiling face as she thought of how happy they once had been. She closed her eyes, letting the memories come flooding back to her�
~Flashback to 2 � months ago~
�Hey! Where are you taking me? Can I open my eyes yet?� she asked eagerly. He chuckled softly. �Chill Mac. We�re almost there.� She sighed, impatiently. �Fine.� She let him lead her in silence to where they were going. They came to a sudden stop, a few short minutes later. She felt his arms slide from her shoulders to wrap around her waist. �Open your eyes.� His breath on her neck sent shivers down her spine, as she slowly opened her eyes. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw where they were. He kissed her neck softly and rested his chin on her shoulder. �Surprise.�
She looked at him in amazement. �You remembered?� He smiled. �I remember everything.� She grinned and kissed him tenderly. She looked back to what lay before them. It was the ruins of the old Spanish mission. He had once asked her where her favorite place on earth was and she had told him about the Spanish mission, and how she came just to think for days on end. She pulled away and grasped his hand as she pulled him along. �Sheesh, it�s been, what, months? I haven�t been here in forever. It still looks the same, except someone�s tended to the flowers�� She knelt down and let her fingers sift through the earth. He shook his head, smiling. It had never ceased to amaze him, how she lived every day with this much passion� and conviction. She was nature�s true goddess. She stood up and brushed the dirt off her hands and ran through the hole in the wall to stand at the edge of the cliff, overlooking a large meadow. She sighed and sat down.
He came and sat behind her, pulling her into his arms. �I now see why this is your favorite place. It�s incredible.� She smiled. �Isn�t it? I mean, just look. You can see the sun glistening upon the small lake down there. I miss this place.� She looked up at him. �Thank you.� He smiled and captured his lips with hers, and they sat there under the sun, wind blowing their hair fiercely, together.
~End flashback~
~*Without You I�m not ok
and without you
I�ve lost my way
My heart�s stuck in second place
Without you*~
She sighed, remembering how much they loved each other, and how they�d always promised each other the world. She missed the nights they�d lie awake and talk for hours on end, about absolutely nothing. She picked up the frame and sat down on the edge of her bed, silently wishing that things could have been made right between them, that things didn�t have to end as badly as they did.
~Flashback to 6 weeks ago~
�What Mackenzie? What do you expect from me? I cannot do this anymore!� She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. �Well, JC, obviously you just aren�t seeing the big picture here! And just what can�t you do anymore?!� He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. �I�m sick and tired of fighting with you. It takes too much of my energy that could be used toward performing. It�s over.� Her mouth dropped open upon hearing his words. �EXCUSE ME?!!! What the hell? Just because we have one fight�� He shook his head, beginning to get exasperated. �ONE fight?! Sorry, hun, but I think it�s time to open those blind little eyes of yours, but there�s been a helluva lot more than ONE fight! If you haven�t noticed, there�s been a fight just about every SINGLE day! So don�t give me that crap!�
Numbly, she sat down at the edge of the bed, looking out the window to avoid his gaze. �It�s not like we can�t work it out.� He shook his head. �No! We can�t work it out! What do you think we�ve been doing for the past month? Working it out! It has gotten us NOWHERE! Don�t you see? It�s not worth it!�
She let out a bitter laugh. �I see how it is. What you�re really saying is that I�M not worth it. Well, that�s fine. It�s not like I ever really loved you to begin with. You were purely used for rebound after Micheal. Have a wonderful life, JC.� She stormed out and nearly ran into Justin on her way out. He looked confused. �Whoa, Kenzie, where�s the fire?� She glared at him. �Why don�t you ask HIM?� And with that, she stomped off, leaving Justin looking very puzzled.
~End flashback~
She sighed, remembering the hateful words they�d tossed back and forth to one another. She still couldn�t believe that she had told him that everything they had wasn�t real, that she never really loved him. She sighed, and grabbed the keys to her car and walked out.
~* Well I never thought I�d be
Lying here without you by my side
It seems unreal to me that
The life you promised was a lie
You made it look so easy
Making love into memories
I guess you got what you wanted
But what about me �cause�*~
She parked her car and jumped out, pulling her windbreaker tighter and walked inside the mission, glancing around. Coming here probably wasn�t the best idea, considering how emotionally weak she was, but something inside her told her to. She smiled faintly as she walked over to the far right end wall.
~Flashback~
He pulled a knife out of his pocket and hovered over the wall, doing something she couldn�t see. She tapped her foot, impatiently. �What are you doing?! Let me see!� He grinned and finished what he was doing, and motioned her over. She ran over and he pointed to what he had done. She snickered. �So, we�re back in 4th grade, I see?� She shook her head, eyes dancing with laughter, as she saw he had engraved JC Loves MA 4ever on the wall. He laughed and picked her up and spun her around. �Aagh! Put me down!� He just smiled and flipped her over his shoulder. �Oh, geeze, I�m gonna be sick, JC�� He chuckled and set her down on her feet. �We wouldn�t want that, now would we?� She hit him playfully and wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. He smiled down at her and kissed the top of her head and began swaying to a tune only they could hear�
~End flashback~
~* Without you I�m not ok
And without you
I�ve lost my way
My heart�s stuck in second place
Without you*~
She traced over the engraving, feeling tears spring to her eyes. She suddenly felt like this place was suffocating her and she took off running outside, gasping for breath. She sank to the ground, fighting the unwanted tears, when she looked up and saw something at the other side of the ruins. Curiously she stood and walked over and gasped at what she saw. No� He couldn�t be� He wouldn�t. Would he? She balled her hands into fists at her sides, fuming with anger. She couldn�t believe he even had the nerve to bring someone else here� Why else would he be here? Slowly, she made her way back into the mission and crawled through the hole to reach the cliff. She gasped rather loudly as she saw he was alone. He immediately turned around, and his eyes went wide as he saw her standing there.
�What are you doing here?� she asked him, eyes cold, and voice hard. He cleared his throat. �I come here to think. I have ever since we�� She held up a hand. �Don�t go there. I don�t want to hear it. All I wanted to do was see who was out here and now I�m leaving.�
She turned around and walked back and crawled through the hole and headed for her car.
~*Somebody tell my head to try to tell my heart
That I�m better off without you
Cuz baby I can�t live
Without you I�m not ok
And without you
I�ve lost my way
My heart�s stuck
In second place
Without you*~
It took him all of a few short seconds, before realizing that he had to go after her. He jumped up, running out to where she was reaching for her door. �No! Mackenzie! Wait, please!� She stopped and slowly turned around, to see him running up to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, while she squirmed beneath his grasp. �Dammit, stop fighting me! Listen to me, Kenz, please?� She stopped moving and looked away, not able to meet his gaze. He sighed. �This past month has been a living hell for me. I�ve missed you so much, Mac. And it�s been eating me alive inside, not being able to hold you at night, or coming here to watch you admire nature�s creations. What we said��
She sighed. �I lied. I never used you, I never didn�t love you. And I�m sorry. I just don�t see where we went so wrong� I�ve been doing a lot of thinking today, and I still don�t get it. I mean, we were so undeniably happy. What happened?�
He sighed. �I don�t know. Honestly, if I could go back� I would. Can we give �us� another chance?� She looked up at his hopeful eyes, and she nodded slightly. He smiled and leaned down to kiss her, but she pulled away. He looked confused as she took his hand instead and led him out to the cliff. She looked back at him, and smiled. �I want you to kiss me right here.� He laughed and leaned down and kissed her, never wanting to let go of her again. She was his and nothing was going to tear them apart again.
The End!
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