Real is more attractive than a slick and polished mask
Girl dig down deep, I know there's more between us
There's bound to be a question you're just dying for me to ask~*~
�I KNEW it! How could you?! After the hell I went through for you? I�m leaving and nothing you or anyone else can do to stop me, so don�t bother following me or even try to change my mind, cuz I�ve had it!� The young woman furiously threw items of clothing into her bag while the young man watched on in silence. He wanted to say something, anything to keep her from leaving, but there was nothing to be said. What�s done is done. He screwed up. He knew that. But now it was too late.
~Flashback to yesterday~
The young woman stopped suddenly, eyes fixated on one and only one thing. There he was. Her heart, body, and soul with HER. Shaking her head in disbelief, she took off her sunglasses and glared at them, talking, laughing and flirting. She could feel the anger seeping through her and she felt at any minute she was going to crack. She wanted to scream out in rage and walk over and kick the living shit out of him. But seeing how she was in public, she didn�t think that to be the wisest idea. She needed time to cool down, before she did something she�d really regret later on.
After walking down along Central Park, her anger gradually turned to hurt and she soon found the tears flowing freely down her pale skin.
He had promised her the world. She scoffed at the painful memory etched into the back of her mind�
~Flashback to a few months earlier~
She laughed as she watched her boyfriend and his best friend playing an intense game of basketball. The younger man of the two narrowed his eyes in determination as his thoughts were focused solely on one thing. Winning. Before she knew it, he was jumping up, yelling and dancing his victory dance. She shook her head and looked at the older one, shake his head in disapproval. She smiled and stood and walked over to him. �It�s ok. It�s just a game.� He frowned. �I know. But that sucker always wins.� She smiled. �There�s always next time.� He sighed, and wrapped his arms around her waist. �True.� She squirmed in his grasp. �Ick! Let go! You�re all sweaty! Nasty!� He laughed and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. �You�re too much, little angel.� He kissed her again, only this time on her lips. �Too much, indeed.� She smiled. �Which is why you love me, right?� He nodded and hugged her close to him. �Which is why I love you.�
~*~If you can be honest, I can be too
If you'll take the first step, I'll follow you through
But no one wants to bleed, no one wants to hide,
No one wants to hurt, alone inside~*~
~End flashback. Present day~
He watched as she pulled her jacket on and slung her bag upon her shoulder. She stared at him for a minute, glaring in disgust. �You make me sick. Literally. Whenever I see that lying, conniving, deceitful face of yours I want to throw up. Don�t you ever find me. EVER. I don�t want to see you and I don�t want to know you. Any final words?� He stared at her, feeling the agony in his chest, knowing what she said was what she meant. He wanted so much to tell her how much he truly loved her and how that other girl meant nothing whatsoever to him. How she was the reason he awoke every morning, that she was his rock, his life. But even if he did decide to say those things, it wouldn�t matter to her. Not now. She shook her head. �Fine, then. I hope you have wonderful life with that little tramp. Goodbye JC.� She walked out and slammed the door, not looking back, for knowing if she did she would lose all strength and crumble to the floor.
He sighed and sank down to the floor, letting the tears consume him. He loved her. He loved her more than life itself, and he screwed it all up, in one minute of blind judgment. Sobbing uncontrollably, he felt his heart bleed for the woman who completed him. Who could read him in a way no one had ever been able to.
~*~Child, don't close your eyes - the truth contains much beauty
And though it scars your soul, it can heal the wounds it makes
You've been deceived to think the pain is to be dreaded
When you've got nothing left, it'll give more than it takes~*~
~6 months later~
The days had turned shorter, and the nights much colder, as the young man lay gazing up at the blank ceiling. Winter was such a bleak season. Much like how he felt. He still mourned for her. He didn�t have a clue as to where she was, what she was doing, or if she ever still thought of him. He knew that she was on his mind consistently, and although his friends had tried to persuade him to get over her, to find someone new, he couldn�t. She had his heart grasped between her delicate fingers. He longed to hold her again, to feel her gentle caress, and most of all to kiss her. He had tried lying to himself, saying how he didn�t care about her anymore, how she meant nothing, how he wasn�t even fathomed by her leaving. He knew that the lies he told were going to catch up with him someday. He knew he had to find her. And tell her the truth. He owed her that much.
~*~If you can be honest, I can be too
If you'll take the first step, I'll follow you through
But no one wants to bleed, no one wants to hide,
No one wants to hurt, alone inside~*~
She gazed around the now barren room as she sighed deeply. As much as she had tried to convince herself to hate the man who stripped her every shred of dignity, she couldn�t. She loved him. She always did and always would. She just didn�t understand why he was forced to go to another woman for comfort. What she wasn�t good enough for him? He got tired with me? She sighed wearily and walked outside, to breathe in the chilled air. She wanted desperately to see him again. Why? She didn�t know. All she knew was she wanted to hear the truth from him. Why he had done what he did. The only problem was 6 months had gone by� he probably wouldn�t even remember me if I saw him again, anyways. I guess I�ll never know why we went so wrong�
He looked at the empty beer bottle on the table and he sighed. This wasn�t him. He knew he needed to get over it and move on. Not be drowning the sorrows. He glanced in the mirror and ran a hand over his unshaven face and sighed deeply. I have to find her. I have to. That�s all there is to it. He had to have some hope that she�d listen�
She smiled sadly as she saw a child pull on her mother and father�s hands, urging them to hurry. She pulled out her camera and angled it so she had the perfect picture. She pushed away a strand of hair and looked over at the swings. Her breath caught in her throat as she realized it was him.
He looked up from his place on the swing and made instant eye contact with her. He knew that he might not ever have this opportunity again and he wasn�t going to let it pass him by. He stood and began to walk over to her, praying she wouldn�t jump up and run.
Her eyes widened as she realized he had recognized her and was now coming over to her. She shifted uncomfortably as she felt his gaze rest on her.
�Hi there.� She nodded. �Hello.� He crossed his fingers, hoping she�d be willing to talk with him. �Mind if I sit?� She shook her head. �No.� He breathed a sigh of relief and looked over at what had held her interest a few moments ago. �Incredible, isn�t it?� She sighed. �What are you doing here JC? What do you want from me? I thought I made it clear that I never wanted to see you again.� He looked at the ground. �I know. And I respected that for as long as I could. But I can�t take it anymore. Things ended badly between us, and that�s not how I like to leave things. I made a mistake, and I�m sorry.� She scoffed. �Sorry, isn�t going to�� He held up his hand to cut her off. �I know that no amount of groveling isn�t going to change what was done. I know that. But at least let me say what I need to say.�
~*~If you can't find the peace, I'll help find it for you
I don't know how, but one thing that's sure
is I won't leave you now~*~
�I never once stopped loving you. I realize that what I did, can�t be made up for, and I understand that. But you need to know how I feel. I can�t just let these feelings go unspoken. I�ve lied to myself for far too long and now I need to face the reality. You were the one person who I knew I could always depend on, who I could rely on. You were the one whose face could illuminate a black room and blind me with your smile. I�ve thought about nothing but you, since the day you left, and the thing I regret most is not going after to you. To fight for you. That girl meant absolutely NOTHING to me. And I honestly don�t know why I was with her, when I had you. Madeline, I hated myself for bringing out that anger in you. I� I love you.�
She didn�t say anything for a minute. She just stared out towards the street. �If you loved me, you never would�ve allowed this to happen.� She looked over at him, as he hung his head in guilt. �You promised me the world, JC. You promised me that you�d make all my dreams come true, no matter how far-fetched or ridiculous they may have seemed. Promises you made, that you broke. The day I walked out, was the day I gave up my life. You have no idea how hard it was for me to walk out, after everything we�d shared� I never once took our love for granted.��
Slowly, but surely he was losing it. He could not lose her. He couldn�t. He didn�t have the slightest idea to keep her from standing and walking away. �Please. Maddie� I�m tired of living like this. Tired of living with the memory of your face etched into my mind. I would give up everything, right here, right now, just to have you back. Please� I don�t know what else to say or do�� He looked away as he felt the tears sting his eyes, and before he knew it, he buried his face in his hands and cried.
She looked over at the sobbing man, shocked. Never in her life had she seen him cry, and never had she seen him so torn up inside. She wanted to believe him, to forgive him, to love him. But she didn�t know if she could. The memory of him and HER would always remain inside her, but she knew that maybe, just maybe she could find it somewhere in her heart to let him back in. She was tired of hurting, and tired of having to go through this alone. Shakily, she reached over and touched his shoulder. He looked up, chin quivering and she smiled tenderly, with tears filling her own eyes.
�I love you, too. I always have, and I always will. But you�re going to have to figure out a way to make up for what you did. Big time. And if you ever hurt me like that again, so help me God, I will kill you. Do you understand me?� He nodded and pulled her to him and rocked her in his arms, both crying and searching for the long awaited solace, being in each other�s arms held. He pulled away for a moment to caress her cheek before cupping it and leaning forward to kiss her. She kissed him back, placing her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. It was over now. Day by day, with each kiss, caress, and �I love you�, slowly but surely the pain was healed and the past long forgotten.
~*~If you can be honest, I can be too
If you'll take the first step, I'll follow you through
But no one wants to bleed, no one wants to hide,
No one wants to hurt, alone inside~*~
The End!
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