While I browse through the Internet, at times, I cannot help but notice some of the things that are very amusing, annoying, frustrating and some are downright ridiculous. The Good, the bad, and the ugly generally prevail everywhere. When I attempt to list out the good uses of the Internet, many things confront me, as its applications are too wide. Firstly my limited knowledge in the subject concerned, secondly the space available here and thirdly there is the important fact that you all know better. I do not want to confuse the readers with all the information that they are already well versed with. 
Yet I must mention here, that the Poddar school of Mumbai, recently, claimed to have the distinction of sending the results of the annual examination of the thousand and odd students, through SMS to their anxious parents mobile phones for the first time in India. This is just an example of a good and innovative use of the communication facilities that are available today. But in cyberspace, the proportion and the scruffiness of the bad and the ugly, at times, seems to be alarming and go beyond the good. I am not here to say anything about the ugly part, as I am aware of the fact that readers here are some of the most dignified family members who would not wish to even broach the topic.
Starting with the most amusing things- what attracted me most were a few funny and amazing mail Ids. I am sure all of us will have some definite reason for choosing an Id name and primarily, our object is to not to reveal our identity. Yet it should be short and somewhat related to our original name itself! In fact, I am of the view that if one�s Id is as plain as something like [email protected] is much safer and I bet no one will bother the concerned person with unwanted mails. Few other Ids that have attracted me the most are, Sweetasjam, Kissedonlyonce, atyourdisposal, underthebed, bubblebuster, junction69, comemummy, godaddy and leavemealone. These are only a few to mention. I am also curious to know passwords that are very amusing and funny. Unfortunately no one tells you their password however close you may be. Something like, �openthedoor�, �123fire� and �gokwii� (God only knows what is inside) are a few funny one�s that I have overheard.
You don�t get what you want and that is your domain name. 
Many have no choice but to settle for something somewhat similar to what they intend to. What is in a name? Plenty, at least in cyberspace. A catchy �domain name� on the Internet can be as good as Gold for some companies and individual and the gold rush may be well underway. Somehow in the recent past, sick of seeing my homepages, I have been under self-induced pressure to upgrade it to a full-fledged professional one and have chosen a few Sanskrit words taking into account many aspects and have tried to get the domain name using them. All in vain. All that I try are already taken. With suffix word �trade� and a few changes to the front and back, I hope to get what I want. How can I get it, when others have left no English dictionary word that remains un-registered? Can you believe that one world famous medicine company holds more than 100 names? And is still on the look out to grab more. Some of the utterly ridiculous names obtained by them are headache.com, pimples.com, badbreath.com, and even-diarrhea.com. What does that company want to do with diarreah.com? Presumably it is for the reason that someone with diarrhea will log on to diarreah.com to learn everything about solving his or her gastro-intestinal problem.
Flaunting an Email Id has become fashionable. 
Apart from the popular email service providers like Hotmail and yahoo; for those looking for some fun, there are funny Email Ids such as @stopdropandrool.com and beer.com (?). Wouldn�t the guys� just love to receive a mail from [email protected]? Like wise, one can sign up for a �pinkfloyed.com account or can opt for garbage mail account at www.garbagemail.com. (Strictly no Spam allowed). For tech-savvy �chatter boxes� there is www.bla-bla.com. Now one can create a unique email identity that reflects ones interest, affiliations or whimsy. Women can opt for cybergirl.com or women.com. Professionals can opt for engineers.com, lawyers.com, doctors.com and so on. My favorite trade website is alibaba.com. I don�t know how the Chinese have snatched the funny name leaving behind the Indians and the Arabs who should be the legitimate claimants. But the site is really worth it as far as its objects are concerned.
To make best use of the available resources in the Internet, I had submitted my profile in Yahoo and Hotmail in the Business and trade category to attract people from World over with similar interests to that of mine and so to establish contact with them for any mutually beneficial, honest and dignified business proposals. Honestly that was my sole intention. I even took care to make sure that I did not give any false information, and declared my original name, exact age and marital status along with my photo, with the hope of getting feedback only from genuine sources. But to my utter disappointment, I receive many romantic and love filled mails from girls and women, most clearly with ill intentions. Probably it is a case of mistaken identity-, as though that I am a millionaire and an Industrialist. Some others come up with a sort of chain, MLM, and referral network, marketing abysmal products assuring you an income of 49,995 US dollars, in 3 months flat, just by sitting at home. These mails make most of my inbox and that frustrates and annoys me. Some criminal master brains are always at work to fool people around to their advantage. I have never followed up those mails as I have many imperative tasks and other more useful things to do.
I often get unsolicited mails from unscrupulous and unethical business communities all in the name of Business offers/proposals. Almost all the so-called offers were from African Countries like Tanzania, Nigeria, Benin, Uganda and so on. Surprisingly all were similar in nature, claiming themselves to be auditor-General, Accountant-General of some banks and financial body; involving 20, 30, or 40 Million US Dollars. Some wanted to transfer the unclaimed, inoperative and declared dead persons funds to India in my name, and some other wanted to sell their few hundred kgs of illegally siphoned Gold from mines, in the form of Biscuits, granules, powder, dust and so on. They even worked out professional quality project reports, clearly taking into account all aspects including incidental and other unavoidable (bribes) expenses and arrived at a figure as my share. Initially I was terrified by these mails and made sure to copy and preserve the server source and the header details of the mail source in case I need to lodge a compliant. I have only read these sorts of gangster plots in some novels and never expected to face them in real life. Nowadays, having gotten used to receiving such mails often, I have started taking them flippantly and delete these mails instantly, but only after a thorough reading. Assuming, that my share is substantial and if the deal goes well, what would I do with a few million dollars? For all the wonderful dream plans I have, a few millions are peanuts! May be if the offers are for above one billion, well, I will reconsider my policies for any possible amendments. Having said this, I know that I am potentially risking myself to be mistaken. If for any reason, in the near future you come to hear about my foreign trip or that I am of the status- �Not to be seen for long�, please do not assume anything. It may not be anything to do with the above business offers. Invariably, in the end, almost all the offers assure life term association and long-term friendship after the successful transfer of funds and the establishment of the business here. I actually do not understand the words �long term and life term�- probably they all mean, the term to be spent behind bars for the rest of the life.
Many have spoken against and even condemned the growing abuse of English in the Internet, particularly in Chat and emails. The E-mail language is still in a fluid state and as of now no one has claimed and registered for its patent rights. I have compiled all the available SMS shortcut words; funny abbreviated letters, emoticons, smilyes and the entire lingo and edited it in a book form and am planning to go ahead with printing, publication and distribution. I hope to release the book before someone pinches my project. For sure, may be within a year or so, I will be recognized World over in star hotels and in parties, as SMS Sudar, like how Liffco and Webster are for dictionary and Pitman for shorthand book.
I do not know how many Engineers, Scientists and Scholars have toiled, given their life out, done research and made available this wonderful gadget of computer and the Internet which are wonders for the Gods to see. This is perhaps the greatest invention of man, so much so that, Heaven appears to be an inferior place to the modern community. Undoubtedly this invention has a very wide application in all walks of life and man can make use of it in all sorts of productive ways. But the sad part is well known and it�s that it seems to be going out of control, particularly with respect to employers. Every other day we come to hear a story of misuse, even at the work place. This facility is provided for quick and important communication and not for exchanging pleasantries. We tend to live with the contentment that, we have no other option but to absorb what is useful, and reject what is useless. Should we not do something to force people to desist from using it for illegal purpose?
Once upon a time, when there was no law, religion regulated life. Fear of God kept us away from sins and crimes. Religious people made others better member of the society. But with the advancement of the science, religion became unimportant. It is now imperative that propagation of religion in some form is brought back into cyberspace to minimize the cyber crimes. I was just wondering, what effect it would have, if we rewind the time clock of our civilization a bit, to make use of the lessons that we learnt earlier. After all, our intention is to get the upper hand of the misusers by force or fraud or trickery of any sort, or even by teaching them that it is their religious duty to sacrifice their freedom to us.
Sudharsan.V
August 2003
