Marriage is the only relationship where you get a host of relatives along with your wife. For example, when you get a child or brother or sister, he or she is the only new relation you get, whereas when you get a wife, you get your In-Laws absolutely free of cost. When I married Vijaya, I got a father-in-law, mother-in-law, three sisters-in-law and three brthers-in-law. In those days, any couple getting less than 6 children were looked down by the society. The standard blessing given by elders to a newly married couple was � Beget a minimum of 16 children and live a magnificent life. ( Padinarum petru peruvazhvu vazh). My parents-in-law probably tried to reach this target, but succeeded in getting only eight children one of whom died in childhood. Kannan, Varadan and Raman were my brothers-in-law, while Jayam, Malathy and Sumathy were my sisters-in-law.
I have already written about the eldest, Kannan for whom I was
an yes-master. Raman was too small. Therefore Varadan, the middle brother like Arjuna of Mahabharatha with whom I could converse easily and who has a great sense of humour, was from the beginning and even now after nearly 40 years is my favourite brother-in-law. He has a knack of joking at you bringing a smile on every one present including yourself. I shall now narrate some incidents over the past about forty years which are indelibly etched in my memory to bring out the jovial and human side of my favourite brother-in-law.
The first thing which comes to my mind is the great affection he had for his father from his childhood. My father-in-law also had great love and affecttion for Varadan, and had a soft corner for him in his heart. I remember very well that when he used to read late in the night for his B.Sc examination, he sometimes felt very sleepy, and put his head down on the table. My father-in-law always remained awake while his favourite son was studying and used to prepare and bring him hot coffee to prevent his sleep. He was always very gentle, and spoke affectionately to Varadan. Varadan, for his part, used to sit with his father for hours together and looked with awe and affection at his father as he used to explain various events appearing in the daily newspaper. After many years, when Varadan was employed in Cadburys and was in Bangalore with his family, it was my father-in-law who egged him on to build a house. The entire supervision for building his house in Thiruvanmiyur was done by my father-in-law. He built this house in stages and forced him to send money every month for the house so that Varadan uses every available paisa for building the
house instead of spending on non essential things in Bangalore. Naturally , whenthe house was completed, Varadan named it after his father.
Another incident which I can recall vividly is that of Varadan and his youngest brother trying to kill a cobra. The house in which they were living in Thiruvanmiyur had a long closed drain open only at the ends. Unfortunately for both Varadan and the cobra, it had entered the drain from one end and was comfortably sleeping inside the drain. Raman had seen the cobra entering the drain, and was waiting with a big and stout to kill it when it started coming out at the other end. But the clever cobra, which also had seen Raman waiting for him at the other end, simply remained inside and did not come out for a very long time. Then, Raman who had a lot of 'fat courage'( GUNDU DAIRIYAM, I am sorry I am not able to think of any exact equivalent english word) came to Varadan, who was enjoying the fun from a safe distance, and said the following ominous
words, � Varadan, this snake will never come out. I will do one thing. I shall pour water continuously at the other end where that cobra entered. You stand at this end with this stout stick, and the moment the cobra shows its head while coming out, beat it to death with this stick. It is very simple and easy.�
Varadan, who was afraid of snakes like all of us( PAMBU ENRAAL PADAYUM
NADUNGUM), reluctantly agreed with considerable trepidation . The way Raman had put it, he thought that the cobra will come out gently and wait patiently till it was killed with his stick. What actually happened as Raman started pouring water continuously at the other end was that the cobra came out very fast hissing violently, and threateningly raising its hood for striking at the first person in his path, who was none other than the trembling Varadan. On seeing the ferocious snake hissing and raising its hood, Varadan forgot every thing, threw away the stick and jumped the fence around the house and started running shouting �NALLA PAMBU, NALLA PAMBU (Cobra, Cobra) all the time like Archimidies
running naked in the street on solving a problem, shouting �Eureka, Eureka�.
Even though Varadan was not completely naked like Archimides, he was running with banian and underwear, and did not bother to collect the dhoti which had fallen. He did not stop till he reached the main road one kilometre away. The cobra, who was equally afraid not knowing the difference between Raman who had pursued it earlier and Varadan whose only thought was to escape the cobra, made good his escape. Everybody present had a hearty laugh including Varadan, who had retrieved his dhoti, returned after a safe one hour, and innocently asked
Raman, �What happened? Did you kill that snake?�.
After my marriage and settling in Nagpur in 1965, Vijaya visited Chennai during summer every year. Vijaya�s annual visit was the main topic of conversation from about 2 months before the actual visit, not only by Vijaya at Nagpur, but also in her parents� house at Thiruvanmiyur, but also for her marrird sisters, Jayam and Malathy who were living in Alandur and Triplicane respectively, and also for her married eldest brother and sister-in-law, Kannan and Chooda who were living in Adyar. This was because Vijaya had the knack of infecting every one around her with cheerfulness and laughter. As I was very close to the family
for many years.before my marriage, both Vijaya and myself had a special place in all their hearts. Moreover, from the beginning Vijaya and myself always wanted to do something for others, and sincerely enjoyed the company of our relatives.
Every year, Vijaya used to make purchases of special items of Nagpur in bulk for her relatives. These were items like Asafetida ( Hing) powder, which was not easily available in Chennai in those days, big pickle jars, Specially bakery made biscuits, Very good Imily, which was dead cheap in Nagpur, purses specially hand-made by Vijaya herself, ornamental items made from small bottles again hand made by Vijaya herself for which she attended special classes, and of course baskets of Nagpur oranges, and sweets and savouries prepared by Vijaya herself. Vijaya went to Chennai for the first time after marriage in March 1966, for her first delivery. Usha was born on 1-5-1966 in Chennai. Mohan was born in Chennai
on 2-10-1969, the birth centenary day of Mahatma Gandhi and also the birth day of Lal Bahadur Sastry, the humblest and greatest prime minister ever of India. I named him Mohan Lal (the first words of both these great men). However, since Mohan Lal looked like a North Indian or marwari name, Vijaya insisted on shortening it to Mohan for which I had to agree as per our solemn agreement mentioned earlier that I shall take all major decisions like who should be prime minister etc, while she took all minor decisions in household matters.
After the birth of Mohan, Vijaya used to visit Chennai with child Usha and baby Mohan during every summer. Mostly she travelled alone with the children, as long leave was difficult for me because of my official responsibilities. I can not express adequately in words my as well as all others� admiration for Vijaya as she travelled alone for such long journey accompanied by the child Usha and baby Mohan in arms, and with lots of luggage of gifts to relatives mentioned earlier. For me, she was and still continues to be the smartest girl on earth. Now, when
both of us have become old( I shall be sixty five on 17th June this year, while Vijaya turned 60 on 1st February this year), tears come to my eyes when I think of the cruel fate which has made her to walk with a walker with somebody to escort her all the time due to a serious spinal cord problem.
As usual, I have digressed from the main topic which is about my favouritebrother-in-law. I crave the apology of my readers for this. As the Editor�s deadline is coming to a close, I shall stop now and continue with my favourite brother-in-law in the next newsletter.
S.Rajagopalan
12th April 2004
TO BE CONTINUED
PART II- MY FAVOURITE BROTHER-IN-LAW
