I'd like to thank the academy for taking a chance on a small town Nebraska kid, my parents, for being the wackos that they are, and whoever invented Coffee.
But you're in luck Hol, because a very journal worthy event happened last night. I don't know what's wrong with my dog. I know he needs more attention than I can give him right now, but I'm sorry I'm working 4 jobs, dating 3 guys, and still trying to run a rock band. HELLO! Point: Kodie and I have a system. About 8 am every day he's in my face whining ready to go out. Lately though, I've been getting up so early I'm beating him up by an hour or so. Well last night I go to sleep, then next thing I know there's Kodie -- Hmm MMM HHmm MM (The sound he makes just doesn't come off in print...imagine a really high pitched, breathy whiney sound). I sort of freaked at first thinking I overslept cause he was up first. I looked then at the clock and realized it was 2:36 in the morning. So of course I looked back at him and laughed "No way in hell you're going outside. It's 2:36 in the morning." But he didn't quit. He just continued MmmHmm MM Hmmmmmm. I did NOT want to let him out, because you have to understand it's such a hassle. I have to turn the alarm off, let him out, wait till he's done, bring him in, clean him off because I live in Seattle and where there's constant rain there's constant mud, get him in the house, lock the door, put the alarm back on and then I can return to bed. As you see this is not something one want's to do at 2:36 in the morning. But as I layed there with his smelly breath all in my face, I started to think of the possibilities of what could happen should I not let him out. Suddenly letting him out at 2:36 in the morning sounded better than cleaning poo at 8 in the morning. So I get up. I turn the alarm off. I let him out. And I'm waiting. I then step outside to get him, and realize he's clear across the yard with no intention of coming in. So I throw on my Kodie shoes and a sweatshirt and venture towards him. He dart's in the other direction at a dead run. What? What are you doing? All of a sudden he's freaking out running all over the yard going absolutly crazy barking and howling and jumping around. It's almost 3 in the morning. The neighbors don't want woken up at 3 in the morning. But they may be because now about 4 other dogs in the neighborhood are barking and howling. Kodie's starting some sort of revolt. About what I don't know, but my dog is aparently the Martin Luther King Jr of the dog world. But even Martin Luther King Jr. wanted some sleep man!
So here I am, in the middle of the night, grey pajama pants, green garden shoes, and a Colorado College sweatshirt, chasing my big Alaskan Huskie around in circles in my yard, practically falling in mud myself everytime I miss him. So I did what I had to do. I went and got the leash. Well he's learned this trick already, so he didn't fall for it right away. He kept running and howling, so I just stood with the leash by the gate, and slightly opened it. Finally he thought maybe "Maybe" he really was going to go for a walk so over he came. I was mean. I really fed into the lie. I kept it up with "Oh Kodie are you ready for a walk? Good boy we're going for a walk yes we are!" Till I got the leash on him. Then, inside the house we went. I got him in, took the leash off and reset the alarm. He looked at me like I had just broken his heart. And I retorted, "Dude it's now 3:07 in the morning. Did you really think we were going for a walk. Too bad so sad." I then went back to bed.
I think this all created bad Karma though, cause I didn't sleep well. I had a dream I ate 16 cases of Peeps candy and had dinner with an old man who told me I didn't have any boobs.