Why I am angry

My friend asks why I'm so angry

And I didn't even know I was angry

Until the early-morning calls came

And finally my fear gets a name

And my anger comes to the surface

The dream came on butterfly wings

Wings that fluttered deep in my soul

Whispering soft and comforting words

Words that brought calm to my soul

All I hear now is silence

Words that floated down

Ma Bell's lines stilled forever

The dream now an eternal nightmare

Then the phone rings and the stillness is gone

But Ma Bell no longer brings comfort

She only gives a name to my fears and anger

Anger at the silence, the uncertainties

And a dream now a daily nightmare

The calls name a past that's not quite over

And living ghosts that haunt the present

With the power to claim the future --

A  future I once thought was mine

I'm angry for allowing Ma Bell to talk me

Into something I knew nothing about

I'm angry for sacrificing all to chase a mirage

I'm angry that a love I once believed in is gone

My friend wants to know why I'm angry

I didn't even know I was angry

Until Ma Bell put a name to my fears

And now all I have left are my tears

-- Patience Akpan, Aug. 01, 1997