|
Subject: |
MODERN LOVE LETTER |
| Writer: |
Usman Malik, Pakistan |
| Remarks: |
None |
Dearest Girl,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you
since Tuesday, the 10th of February 1999. With reference to the
meeting held between us on the 10th of February 1999 at 1500 hours, I
would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair
would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on
compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of
probation, there will be continuous on-the-relationship training and
relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to
spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would
initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your
performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However
I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense
account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this
letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further
notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if
you could forward this letter your sister, if you do not wish to take
up this offer. Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours sincerely,
[Boy]
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MODERN REPLY OF MODERN LOVE LETTER
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Dear Boy:
Please refer to your letter dated today. I am pleased to inform you
that I hope to accept your proposal for romance. However, you should
be informed that there are certain conditions of acceptance.
Promotional prospects are to my satisfaction. However, please
enlighten me as to your retirement benefits. Gratuity should be
generous. I also need to be assured that there is sufficient security
with regards to this commitment. If there is any chance at all of
retrenchment or consequent disinterest on your part, then I should
receive monetary compensation according to union standards. Due to
the nature of my position, I am sure you will agree that an expense
account should be arranged for my access in light of the 'VIP'. I
shall be entertaining. In addition, housing and transport allowances
should be in order and nothing less than a Jag is in order. Please
also note that there should be no moonlighting restrictions placed on
myself. If you are still interested in the relationship, please reply
on an urgent basis as other prospective lovers have sent indications
of interest. Please also note that my sister is happily employed.
Yours perhaps,
[Girl]
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With best regards,
Usman Malik,
President of Decentman.Da.Ru,
Pakistan
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