"The gene pool could use a little chlorine." "I love cats...they taste just like chicken" "Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot." "Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician" "I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...." "Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!" "If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?" "Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!" "He who laughs last thinks slowest" "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." "i souport publik edekasion" "We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated." "Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?" "Auntie Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, Taking the dog. -Dorothy." "All generalizations are false." "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." "Time is what keeps everything from happening at once." "Out of my mind. Back in five minutes." "Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death" "The more people I meet, the more I like my dog." "Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep" "Montana --- At least our cows are sane!" "I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian." "Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition." "It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you." "If you don't like the news, go out and make some." "I Brake For No Apparent Reason." "When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS." "Sorry, I don't date outside my species." "I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight!" "No Radio - Already Stolen" "Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges." "I took an IQ test and the results were negative." "When there's a will, I want to be in it!" "Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?" "Few women admit their age, Few men act it! " "I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!" "Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!" "IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. " "Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!" "It's lonely at the top, but you eat better." "Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have." "A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory." "How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?" Seen on a woman's car: "Men call us birds, we pick up worms" "Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear." "Give me ambiguity or give me something else." "We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?" "Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot." "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else." "Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy." "Consciousness: that annoying time between naps." "Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home." "Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?" "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock." "I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles." "I is a college student." "Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself." "I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?"
I climbed up the door and opened the stairs,
Said my pajamas and put on my prayers,
Then I turned off the bed and crawled into the light,
All becuz you kissed me goodnight!
Next morning I woke up and scrambled my shoes,
Picked up my eggs and toasted the news,
I couldn't tell my left from right,
All becuz you kissed me goodnight!
That evening at last I felt normal again,
So I picked up my mother and called the phone,
I spoke to the puppy and threw Dad a bone,
Even at midnight the sun was still bright,
All becuz you kissed me goodnight!
10 Reasons Why
Why Girls Like Guys
1. they look so cute when they try to show off
2. they always ask where YOU want to go on the first date.
3. they look fine even if they just got out of bed
4. they never ask:"does this make me look fat?"
5. whenever they come to school, they always go to you first and give u a kiss.
6. they always ask if you need a ride
7. they try not to be perverted when they're around you
8. they always say"of course not" when u ask them if it makes you look fat.
9. when you dont feel good, they kiss you on your head.
10. they're just so damn cute!!
... Girls wished Guys knew
1.when you are talking to US,don't change the subject and start talking about how cute another girl is or how much you like her, we don't care
2.don't talk about how great it would be for us to go out with your best friend, when the person we really want to go out with is you
3.if you like us then just ask us out, don't be scared of what we are going to say, or what could happen, in the words ok nike (just do it)
4.if you want to kiss us then just kiss us, don't wait for the next guy to come along and kiss us first
5.guys, we know your cute, and we know your strong, and whatever else you want to be, but stop always trying to prove it to us, just be yourself, that's why we like you in the first place
6.when you see us flirting with other guys, it's only cause your not flirting with us
7.oh yeah, 2 friends are not going to fight over you, it's just not going to happen, so don't expect it to happen
8.whatever you do don't hurt us, cause no matter how much we liked you before, we will never look at you the same way again (ever)
9.when you go out with another girl, and it's not us, we are going to get jealouse
10. all we want is you