4 out of 4 shits
Is it because of the Doom quality animation, consisting of 3 or 4 sprites? Or is it the nasty textures (seen above) which make you want to grab a yard gnome and stick it up your ass in an attempt to dam up your CORNSHOOT! I tried to sell this game back to Gamestop but I ended up getting fisted by the dicks responsible. All they gave me was some Vaseline because they felt sorry for me? What the hell do I do with this when I had to go in there with a fucking bucket under my ass anyway? I don't need to soften my dumps as I have already had a huge continuous shittle poking out for the last fucking two weeks!!!!!!!
Hold on....I'm wiping.
Don't play this game. Even if you like games where you don't have anything to fucking shoot online. In XMP (which stands for Expanded Multiplayer, but the only thing expanding was the dump coming out of my ass!!) you walk around in shittastic vehicles that blow up the second you tap into a wall, while sitting there picking your ass waiting for someone to come by to shoot. Because the levels are so big and untextured, no one ever finds anyone so the only thing to do is download German porn. Mozel Tav!!! Yeah that's Jewish.
You know what? I'm going to try to find a cork for blockage. I'll hand this over to Elite to give his opinion.
ELITE59: Thanks Chris make sure to wipe! I tried looking in the instructions for help and ended up trying to wipe my ass with it as the extened amount of shit was oozing out my ass. But it gave me papercuts! I had to use Vasoline to luber up my colon for the painful shit to follow. Damn I had to look up words I didn't understand in a dictionary while waiting for the bitch to load. No success! The only thing lower than the frame rate is the amount of money this game will earn. Back to my bowel momevements!! I had my flesh ripped off by one shit after playing the level named "Hell" I should have seen it coming! I felt like I was giving birth to Chris Farley. And the labor lasted 3 weeks. My ass has expanded so much in the last hour Rosie O' Donnell decided she'd take a peek. The sound in this game was horrendous. The sound the spiders gave off when they died sounded like my mother giving me a reach around. The squeeling made me sad for 2 reasons. One it made me feel bad, two I had just shit myself. I would advise you all to stick clear of this game unless your into spending time wiping your ass and sticking foreign objects in your ass. I think I need to buy some more Pearl tampons since leekage is getting greater by the hour. This is what I thought of the game. Excuse my while I go wipe!