Well I know a lot of people are obsessed with the shittiest movie ever, The Patriot. This movie is shitty. The shittiness cannot be beaten. Oh your son got killed Mel Gibson, now let's go fight the British and get the other son killed. How come no one's head explodes in this movie? Our heads aren't built like fucking ketchup bottles so cut out the shitty blood ejaculations. Mel Gibson is a stupid asshole. He can stop fighting in the middle of a fucking war and look at his goddamn bullets and not get shot or molested by Catholic priests. What the hell is wrong with this movie? When people get shot in the head in real life, chunks of skull and brain come out, sort of like a watermelon getting shot. But in this movie we get shitty gore and piss poor entertainment. Where are the naked sluts?
I hate those fucking assholes who only like shitty high school movies like Fast and the Furious and The Matrix. Those movies are for assholes, and if you like them then you're an asshole too. I don't buy into shitty movie hype. One time I bought into the shitty hype of Godzilla and came out thinking how shitty the movie was. Wow it was the highest grossing movie on that Memorial Day weekend, what fucking competition was there? Yeah there was Saving Private Ryan but fuck you anyway.
Who the hell is going to see that Freaky Friday fucking movie? Stupid movie about that stupid old bitch Jamie Lee Curtis being a fucking bisexual. I don't actually know what it's about at all actually, but it's getting good scores from the critics and we all know that critics are never right. They gave The Matrix a good score on Rotten Tomatoes without addressing the fact that it had no plot, poor acting, no entertainment value and it went on five hours too long. I'd rather get my foot shoved up the ass of John Ritter's carcuss than watch that piece of shit movie again.
Come to think of it, why does anyone care that John Ritter died? He did nothing for America but piss me off by making that shitty TV show Three's Company. Come and knock on our door...I'll blow the fucking door apart with a 12 gauge and blow your head into several large pieces, and the special effects crew behind The Patriot would have to tape it so they know how to make a good fucking movie. John Ritter is an asshole for making that stupid show on ABC about dating his teenage daughter, no one cares. Those asshole producers had him tape a few more shows too just before he died, so we'll have to deal with John Ritter's stupid ugly ass on prime time TV for more weeks to come.
Reality television sucks. Who the hell would watch The Restaurant anyway? What kind of heartless asshole would come up with the idea of making a television show about cooking in a restaurant?! Oh that's fucking suspenseful, with so many goddamn twists and turns. The most action you'll see in that show is someone overcooking custard or something. Wouldn't it be great if someone busted into the restaurant and started shooting away at the cooks and torching everything with gasoline? Now that's the way to burn the custard! I'd rather stick a corn cob up my ass and let a gopher nibble it out and cause internal bleeding.
And if you like Linkin Park, Slipknot, Three Doors Down, Creed or Limp Bizkit, I hope someone shoots you in the throat. Every time I hear this shit on the radio I pull the car over and puke in the gutter, hurling all over a collection of these bands' shitty CDs that a hobo pulled out of a fucking dumpster. The hobo dumped them in the gutter; see, not even a hobo has better taste than that.
I even tried to make a picture of Agent Smith dressed up like a Teletubby but Photoshop is the worst thing ever created. FUCK YOU. WHOEVER THE FUCK MADE IT SHOULD BE BLOWN APART IN A TERRORIST ATTACK. Fucking worthless bullshit software, I'll never download it again. I can't believe people actually pay for it. What a waste of 30 minutes of my fucking life.