We have a restaurant here in Colorado called Mr. Ed's. It claims that it is a family restaurant, but we all know what they really mean. Family is welcome, but old fucks are recommended. If you were to go into that restaurant at 7:00 a.m. (I had to once) the place is full of oxygen tanks, crippled fucks and old decaying bastards. The whole restaurant smells like BO and urine. And not one person in there was below 60 except for me. What a waste of my time. The food was shit, because by the time you're that old, food tastes all the same anyway so what the fuck.
Those bastards always lose their hearing too. I always telling old people "I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE" when they really think I'm saying "I am telling you goodbye!" Those stupid ignorant fucks. They think they are still in the golden days when people don't steal or fuck around with people. So they'll leave shit outside and wonder why things get fucked up and damaged, or stolen. "Where the heck did my Oldsmobile go?" You shouldn't have fucking left the keys in it, ass fuck. I really hate when old people will go to the bathroom and take a big shit and leave. Sometimes they'll leave the door open for spectators to witness bombs being dropped into the shitter. What the hell is their shit supposed to smell like? Smells like a combination of sweat, rape, prunes and pubic hair.
Those fuckers will drive 20 miles an hour (if you're lucky) in a 30 mile an hour zone. Even when I am not in a hurry, I'll honk at those fuckers just to hurry them up. Don't drive over a claymore mine, assholes.
Old people like shitty movies such as Ben-Hur and the Ten Commandments. They buy fucking trinkets such as ceramic elves and they'll litter their driveway with them. Look at those fucking elves, always smiling, always happy. They'll sit there, usually in some homoerotic sex position, getting ready to bounce off the pavement and give you a reach around. And every time you steal one of their yard trinkets, it gets replaced by three more, so what's the fucking difference.
DIE. Old people can suck it long and hard. Hopefully someone sticks a Kosher dill (make sure it's kosher!) up my ass until I die. That just seems like it would be more fun than having Jewish sex with anal raping sex cream! Goddamn it, none of this makes sense. I'm tired and I don't feel good. Go to hell.