LESSON 1: Hidalgo is a shitty, unimportant event in history, therefore it is not a good movie. Who the hell actually went to see this shit pile anyway? I'd rather be deep throated by a midget from Cleveland than spend five minutes in a theater watching that dickhead from Lord of the Rings being all gay with some horse. UGH. Seriously. DOES THIS MOVIE ACTUALLY LOOK ENTERTAINING TO ANYONE? I can't think of a single reason to see this. "Your horse is too small" said the trailer, HAHA I say, WHO CARES. There are these stupid fuckrag news reporters on the Denver news station that masturbated on the air over this movie...I was like Jesus what the fuck. It's amazing what people will pay to see. This year alone, people have paid money to see CG dogs solving mysteries, Jesus getting flogged for 2 straight hours, hippie Middle Easterners with horse sex and Tom Hanks taking a long shit on his career in Ladykillers. Which leads me to my next movie lesson...
LESSON 2: Ladykillers. Enough said. If anyone actually saw this mess of a movie, I feel sorry for you. Then again, why see a movie called The Ladykillers? What the fuck does that mean? This movies commericals are horrible. I can't think of a single reason to see this other than for a cure for insomnia, but when you're done with the movie you'll contract syphillis.
LESSON 3: The Alamo? Horrible looking movie. Again, who gives a damn. It's one of those really horrible movies like Armageddon where they turn a disaster into some offensively long, drawn out love story with bad acting and slow motion. I don't give a damn about this movie. Fuck whoever made it, don't see The Alamo. Especially because this movie is probably filmed in Texas. FUCK YOU TEXAS. You make the west look bad.
LESSON 4: Kill Bill Vol. 2 will be even better than the first movie. The first movie is also one of my favorite movies ever. This one will be twice as good. Anyone who likes catfights and sexy bitches with swords needs to see this. The Vol. 1 DVD is out April 13 if you missed it in theaters. Watch both of these movies and you'll thank me. Or you could just go see if Hidalgo is still playing downtown. You asshole.
I'm fed up with entertainment. Every rant on this website is devoted to entertainment, and how much I hate it. It just fills up my mind with every thought and makes me want to go punch the fucker responsible for the lack of an UNDO FUNCTION in fucking Geoshitties shit manager!!! Real men don't learn HTML, so fuck off.