-Don't make a game that involves a gay looking character with a purple thong morphing into gay monsters to attack repetitive enemies in bland, half-assed levels that are overly purple. In other words, don't make another Alter Echo.
I'm not that homophobic, but this character really is gay. Who wouldn't want to shoot this asshole in the teeth? I mean look at him, with that beard and all that shit. Come to think of it, he looks like my father. And the levels? They are, of course, purple. Completely purple, with a touch of pink and occasionally some beige!! Ughh. Beige?
Gamespot had an interview with the game's developers. I posted a small snipet of the article here:.
DUMBASS #1: Okay, so we got 1 month to make a great game with a lot of innovation and fun!
DUMBASS #2: I recommend purple, in my humble opinion.
DUMBASS #3: Let's make a character with a cute bulge and a sexy purple thong, since we are gay.
DUMBASS #1: Oh, it's too bad the ESRB strictly enforces that nudity policy.
DUMBASS #4: Listen Lawrence, you can get plenty of nudity around this office.
DUMBASS #3: Yeah, we'll support you. You can come over to my kiosk and get some....development...ideas....
Ugh, I don't even want to think about the rest of the article. If I were interviewing this bastards I would have told them the truth: your game is complete bullshit, and the sad thing is, you think you're being innovative.
No, no, no. Innovation is blasting out walls in Red Faction. Or being driven around by Marines in Halo 2. Or pretty much anything in Half-Life 2. Wow you've got a fucking character who has a grape for a crotch and some stupid hair that goes up his ass....hardy fucking har. No one is going to give a quarter of a fuck about this pathetic excuse for entertainment. I wouldn't be surprised if you haven't even heard of the game. After all, there isn't a commercial as far as I can tell, and the user interest in this game as of right now on gamerankings.com is a 5.7 out of 10. Half of you fucks actually give a damn? I hope you get shot in the foot by a paintball gun, or die in a plane crash. Whichever one is worse.
I just keep looking at screenshots of this game and asking myself, "Why?" Why would they even bother? Is it out of curiousity; are they seeing how well people respond to shit? Do they think we lost all interest in kick ass, great games and want to try something homosexual and half-assed? Even the trailer they had was really bad, and lasted like 10 seconds.
"Alter space.......Alter time.........Alter Echo."
Um what? That doesn't fucking make sense. You do not alter space or time, you turn into a big giant purple thing. Good job asswipes. MAYBE I can see the whole altering of space part, because yes, big gay purple things do occupy space. But time? No, you don't alter time. False advertising. Not that anyone gave a shit in the first place. The only thing you alter in this game is your sexuality.
Alter Echo is EXTREME. Hundreds of people worldwide will flock to their local gamestore and buy a copy of this shitty game. Yes hundreds. I'm sure that this is the game that you want to spend your hard-earned $50 on. If so, I sincerely hope you die. May your tumor bless you with inner peace.
Note that this game actually does allow you to alter time with that same shit that was in Blinx. I don't care, go fuck yourself. It's still worse than an enema delievered by Morgan Freeman.