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| It's probably a bit vain that I have a picture of myself on most of the pages of my homepage. Ah well.... |
| RANT OF THE MOMENT: June 2003 |
| Smarky, the Chief of Widdlemyer Caveman Town Gets a Good Idea |
| Smarky is the chief of Widdlemyer Caveman town. One day he looks around and notices that there is utter and complete chaos in his little mud hut village. He's appalled at this but being the ever-resouceful Smarky, he thinks up a plan. "Hmmm, " He says to himself, "I need to create a system that controls all the people in the village. Something that keeps them from doing all the dirty, naughty things without my having to keep an eye on them. What can I do?" So, what, children do you think Smarky does? Smarky hires a thespian group from the next town and asks them to do a special job. "I need you to go around tell people you've seen this terrible but great creature with large feathery wings in a dark alley way and that it told you that you were not allowed to do all those dirty naughty things that villagers like to do. I'll pay you loads of money." Snarky tells them. So thespians go about spreading this rumor about this winged creature, making sure everyone in the village hears about it one way or another. After Smarky is satisfied that the people of the village are questioning these strange appearances, he calls on the last thespian for help. "I need you to be the winged creature." ************************************************************ Later on the week, the mud hut villagers were going about their usual business on market day when up from the well in the square rose the winged creature. "Look unto me!" The creature begins. Naturally, the villagers are curious...so the do. "I am sent here by my Master as a messanger to the pure of heart and mind. Do not fear death for he promises for those worthy, a chance at life AFTER death." He bellows dramatically. This of course gets the villagers attention even more. "Tell us more, strange and wise creature. " The creature flaps his elegant wings and continues. "My Master is an all powerful being who can see into the hearts of each and every one of you. He has the ability to smite you all dead but he is merciful and only wishes to offer you a chance for you to live happily in with him in his Kingdom of Nice Things after death." The audience gathered in the square is silent, completely entralled. "BUT......" The creature begins pointing his index finger skywards. "The great one does not allow one that do dirty naughty deeds to enter his Kingdom. " One villager, tentatively asks a question. "Well, what happens to s person who isn't pure of heart and mind?" THe creature becomes very grave. "Oh, my child, for that poor soul lies an eternity of fire and brimstones. Dragons will nip at their bums till the end of time and they'll be forced to play bingo every night...but no one will ever win a prize." The villagers gasp at this and begin to think. "Bingo, or niceness....bingo or niceness?" Finally the villager asks again. "So all we have to do is be good and not do the dirty naughty things we did before?" The creature smiles warmly and nods. "Yes, and I will have direct contact with your chief, Smarky. He will keep me updated on wheter you're being naughty or nice. And I of course answer directly to my master who will then know all your deeds. Good, or evil." The villagers stood in stunned silence as the winged creature got out of the well and started making for the outskirts of town. Waving back over his shoulder he concludes his prophecy with. "Only you can choose how to live." *************************** On the outskirts of town waits Smarky, drinking wine and eating cheese. Upon seeing the winged creature he stands up and smiles. "Did all goes as planned?" Smarky asks expectantly. "Yep, they were all scared outta their wits." he replied. "Wonderful! Wonderful, now, "He says reaching into his pocket and pulling out some gold coins, "How much did we agree on?" *************************** When Smarky returned to his village, he noticed that no one was doing dirty and naughty things. In fact, most just moped around looking like they were carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. But all in all, Smarky was happy. All he had to do was put the fear of the winger creature in their minds and they happily oblige to do anything. He had control. And this made him very happy. The End ********************************** So, children, what was the moral of this lovely tale? Religion is a tool created to control the masses by playing on their fears of mortality. I hope you've enjoyed story time. ^_^ |