Welcome to DEEP THOUGHTS by Jack Handey.
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful, flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also you're DRUNK!.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, "God is crying" And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
Back to Homepage
