My Will
Been updated again. If I should die before the 21st September, this is what should happen:
1. The poster I have for "Fight Like A Brave" must be placed outside my bedroom door. (the poster has the Chili's naked but with socks over their dicks.
2. Deadjournal.com will return to how it was and not end up like Livejournal.
3. And Jenny, again with the miracle-gro on Mr. Sansome's head. If you should ever see him again that is.
The Funeral
1. No burial. None. I am to be cremated. Part of my ashes I want in my bass drum, part on Fred the skeleton, in the science lab; and the rest donated to the medical research centre to see if they can make a body out of what used to be a body.
2.The funeral will be held by my real mummy. No Hoja or any other kind of religious sort. (I'm talking about official religion sort, not layfolk)
3. All fanfiction and deadjournal dudes that I know and love are invited. Those of you on my friends/favourite authors list can have the front row.
4. Any relatives that aren't my extended adoptive family, or are further out than second cousin, or if I just don't like you, are not invited. I include many great aunt's and uncles. Again, cause I don't like you. And any second cousins from my dads side of the family that aren't the Ibrahim and co, Yurtan and co, or Seniz and co, are definately not invited. Mainly cause this is my day and you're all a bunch of loud mouths.
5. Mammy should read out my eulogy which includes a slash story of her choice, seeing as the one I had in mind isn't finished yet. But it must be graphic and include a band I like. All must listen or I'll send down thunderbolts. Can mammy also read the "How to have fun at a funeral" list. She must do this as people go up to my coffin.
6. If you're in formal gear, then get the hell out. At least dye your hair pink for the funeral, if you can that is. Some sort of unusual studdery should be worn. No suits, but all black definately allowed. If anyone tries to attend my funeral looking like someone that stepped out of a gangsta rap gig, or is attending looking like a walking advert for Nike etc, then they will be assumed terrorists and the FBI will be informed.
7. Almost decided on my funeral songs:
- At your Funeral by Saves the Day
- Don't fear the Reaper by Blue Oyester Cult
- Paranoid by Black Sabbath
- Disposable Teens by Marilyn Manson
- God called in Sick Today by AFI
How many am I actually allowed? If it's no more than three, then have the last two where the favourite hymns bit is suppossed to be.
8. Anyone who disagrees with the running of the funeral wull be decapitated with a spoon by Damien, Jamie-Lee, Jo, Talia, and Chrissy. You know, if you guys want to. This is not because anyone's being closeminded, but you have to respect the dead's wishes.
9. Lastly, funeral clothes have changed again. I want my "born free" t-shirt, my hot pants over my large hole fishnets, and boots. I also want to be wearing my dog collar, chains, and a tie to keep my shorts on. This is for sarcastic effect.
The Will
Mammy-a spoon for decapitating with, my hair dyes and bleach, and the tapers for ear stretching
My adoptive daughter Laura - black lipstick, two bottles of black nail varnish, mascara, my Gundam Wing poster, and Americana by Offspring.
Nicholas - my spiked bracelet, rainbow type beeds, drum kit shaped watch are all yours
Damien - pink fluffy handcuffs, "Answer that and stay fashionable", and "Black Sails at Sunset" both by AFI, are all yours. and, if you can find it, you can have my tape with "The art of drowning" album (by AFI) on it. And my lava lamp.
Puppet - have my plans for world domination and enough money to buy a nurses uniform. hehe
Shadow - Body Glitter! and anything else glitter type in my room. also have the Queer as Folk soundtrack. You won't like it but have it anyway.
Sonolan - my fishnet stockings, tights, and Mark. Oh! and my iron rod!
Kips - growth hormones, fairy costume, Pat, and my crappy computer with me stories on it.
crew - whatever I haven't given from my CD collection.
Talia - all me band t-shirts and my Sum 41 poster.
Jo - my half legnth jeans and my film posters
Chrissy - my entire colection of badges, patches, and the almighty rucsac that has a lot of writing on it.
Anyone else, you can have my plot bunnies and hats.
Tom - you can have my sketch books.
Jenny - you get Satana, Jezebel, Phoenix and Alex. Don't worry, they're nice. you also get my condoms and my ticket to see Lost Prophets.
Rachel - have my video collection, and my jewelry that's in the safe.
Kath - my eyeliner and a cuddly toy
Sarah - you get my flute and the sheet music that's built up over the years.
Huw - Because you're so cuddly, you get all my cuddly toys! and my souvenir ticket from the Courtney Pine concert. He rocked!
Jake - You can have my earing, barbells and what ever else you can put in your ear.
Cathy - Have my desk lamp. it's real pretty!
Mari - You can have my pornographis sketches, and copyright to my play. Just treat it nice yes?
James - You can have Tammy, David and my bed. You seem to like that.
Mette - You can have the two signs that I have in my room. One says "No bloody swearing" and the other one is a joke about smoking.
And anyone I missed, you can share the rest between you!