Everyone (Mizuki, Jezebel, Phoenix, David, Alexander, Pat, Mark and Tammy) is in the living room. Mizuki is in front of the TV, and the rest are squashed on the sofa.
Mizuki: Now then. Is everyone comfortable?
Tammy: (muffled) Will you please tell Jezebel to get off my face!
Jezebel: Nothing doing!
Mizuki: Stop arguing. Now then. I have brought you here today because I realise there has been some tension amongst us all. So I thought if we all took it in turns to come up and have a screaming session about anything in particular, then we'd all feel a lot better. So. I'm going to go first.
Others: No! That's not fair!
Mizuki: Oi! It's my house, I'll do what I want! Now then...
What is it with that Goddamn teacher of mine! What does he mean I can't write on my t-shirt and wear it in school! It's my fecking clothes I'll wear what the hell I want to. Stupid school. And why doesn't anyone review my ffn stories? They're not that bad. I'm pissed off about everything. Damn computers too. The stupid thing would not accept that there was paper in the printer and it wouldn't print. Now it has and as a present it's smudged it. I hate technology!
(Lights go out)
Okay that was unexpected...
Pat: (Gets up and pushes Mizuki towards the sofa, except she misses and ends up on Marks feet) My turn!
Mark: Ow!
Pat: Not sorry ^_^
I want to know who the hell keeps stealing my t-shirts! Everytime I put them in the wash they go missing! What the hell is going on? They're mine! Mine I say! You have no right to steal them. Now, who is it?
(Silence)
Well I'll just have to check everyone's room won't I?
(Silence)
Do you honestly not know where they are?
Jezebel: Maybe Love stole them as a keepsafe.
Pat: No, he always asks. You're all liars! Tammy. It was you wasn't it!
Tammy: ...
Pat: Then where are they? Ugh.
(goes off in a strop to his room)
David: I think he's got PMT again.
David: (takes his place in front of the TV) Righty then. I'm going to rant and rave over nothing. There's nothing to say really. Except they won't legalise cannibis. Why won't they legalise cannibis? It's no different from tobacco, if anything it's more relaxing. I know I don't do cannibis, and I wouldn't touch the stuff. But it helps others! Stupid government. They're so useless. Where's Tony Blair when you need him!
(punches a punch bag with Tony Blair on it)
Needed that. But they can't do anything right! Look at the NHS, the railways, the school system, just about everything else, then he goes swanning off to other countries to help them sort out their problems leaving us to wallow in ours!
(grumble)
Mark: My turn!
(Mark picks up David and throws him on the sofa)
Mark: Who the hell said me and Tammy were teaming up? That is not right! We just happened to be in the same place at the same time! I refuse to be sociable with anyone let alone team up with them! I do my own dirty work thank you!
Now, who dyed my hair pink? Confess! It's not funny! I don't like pink! Pink is the colour of evil! And whoever it was took my black dye! *cries* This isn't fair. I'm misunderstood that all. That doesn't mean you have to play jokes on me in my sleep. *sniff*
Tammy: It was me...
Mark: *stops crying* you little bitch! *Hits her with a stick*
Tammy: That was uncalled for! I just wanted some fun! (takes her place)
Why won't you let me go to the *NSYNC concert Mizuki? Just because it's a pop concert! You'll live won't you? It only lasts three hours. Can't you take three hours out of your life for me?
Mizuki: If I had my way you wouldn't be an alter ego. Neither would Mark. and I'm not going to waste three hours of my life at a pop concert!
Tammy: You just like torturing me don't you? I don't say anything when you play your punk albums at full blast!
(Everyone bursts into fits of laughter)
Okay so I say somethings, but... Oh never mind you all hate me anyway.
Jezebel: (gets up and dances to the TV) I don't know why I danced.
Someone called Pat a faggot yesterday. I'm extremely pissed off about that. I say we find that bloke, and punch his lights out! He had no reason to say that to Pat! So what if the boy's gay, he's lovely! And I too want to know who's been stealing his t-shirts! Mark! It's you!
Mark: huh?
Jezebel: I saw you take them yesterday. Give them back before me and Phoenix get you! Now then, onto a lighter screaming session... David, please stop lighting inscence near my room! I get enough of it from Mizuki, I don't need it from you too! And will you please keep out of my room! I'm done ^_^
Mizuki: That was interesting...
Alexander: I was brought back here for this? I could be in the USA right now...
Phoenix: Quit complaining and get on with it.
Alexander: Fine...
Alexander: (Scrambles up from the sofa, tripping up over everyone's feet and walks to the TV.)
That was not funny! My rant is that everyone assumes I'm smart! I just happen to have one more brain cell than the rest of you, that's all. So please! Stop coming to me for answers I haven't got to problems I've never even heard of. And Jezebel, as for beating up the person who insulted Pat, I totally back you up. Mizuki, there is no way I'm sharing my hole with David! I don't care if he's gonna get too big for his hole. I say you let him share with Mark
Mark: Hey! I don't wanna listen to his folk music as much as you don't want to. Evil being.
Alexander: Sorry David, but we don't like your music. That's all. We love you-
Mark: Speak for yourself.
Alexander: Well that's all I have to say for now. Can I go back to America now?
Mizuki: Fine...
*Alexander wonders off out of the living room.
Phoenix: Why did I have to be last?
Jezebel: Because you couldn't be bothered to claim your place earlier.
Phoenix: (goes up to the television) Now then... (Punches Television) Stupid Media!
(Sits back down again)
Jezebel: The hell...?
Mizuki: Er, same time next week?