POEMS 15
BACK
NEXT
So she said It was like a butterfly Your relationship turned dry And you smiled at me Because it was finally dead Yes I know Something didn't feel right I wasn't ready but I tried Pretending not to be me Just because I loved you Finally she left us alone Together was what we had hoped for But it just didn't feel right anymore And you said you loved me How could I have ever known So I said It was like a sting When I lost you I lost everything Now I know just what she meant And how it feels to be mislead.
MY NIGHT OF TERROR I hear him walking up the steps, Waiting at my door. As if making the grand decision to come to me or not. There is no doubt in my mind Where he'll end up this night Where he'll cause the most pain Where he'll take more of my innocence. The softness of his steps belies the hardness that lies beneath, the terror that he brings, the pain he will surely cause. I am in no position to decide what will happen to me this night. Only if I am going to survive the terror and pain this night brings. His voice, his smell, his touch all combine so that I wish I could hearing stop smelling, stop feeling. Then it would not hurt so much. My father, my molestor: The man who has caused me nothing but pain The man who was suppose to love and protect me The man whom I hate more than life itself.
Emptiness echoes in my dreams As I scream terrors in the night, And I escape into the shadows Chased away by senseless fright. This tragic love I feel for you Takes root deep within my bones, It wraps itself around my heart, Yet still I feel betrayed, alone. I'm scared of this path I have walked, Can't let the pain fade out to numb, You led me to this breaking heart Due to all that you have done. Tears rise and flicker in my eyes As I dream of the days before, The days you were so wide and clear, And on your wings my love was borne. I'm scared of what will happen when This awful pain has turned to numb Because Numb is that dreaded place You originally found me in.
What am I going to do? No way out. Yet I know, That somewhere in the deepest night, There's a way. It only will reveal itself to those Who are pure of heart And kind in spirit Can I find it??? I need to find it! Our love grew out of necessity. A necessity to save each other's lives. Based on true friendship, It will proove difficult to destroy In a world full of anger and hatred. We need an anchor, a base Unwavering, To secure sanity and happiness. You pulled me out of deepest despair. What do you see in me? How is it possible for you to love me? I ask myself that question Several times a day, But the answer eludes me still. You say it is not for me to know, It is not for me to choose. You say you are not going anywhere. I ask "Are you that strong?" How do you do it? Where do you draw this inner energy from? No regrets. So strong, so at peace with yourself. Yet I struggle to survive each and every day. Give me some of your strength! But you already have. You are relentlessly giving. Like a vampire I require still more. Feed me. Quench my thirst. Still my hunger. I love you my way. What have I done to you? What am I doing to you? I don't deserve this much kindness. I dont' deserve you. Yet, you aren't going anywhere. Your choice. My choice to let you. I love you. Unconditionally. Without regrets. I'm not going anywhere. Without fear? For eternity? Why? Until death does it all apart? I trust you with my life. It's yours. Take it.
I want, I want, I think I need I want, I want, I can't succeed People take, people cry Oh my Lord, I think I'll die This world I know, I hate its soul 'Cause my head, it told me so This old world, won't ever change 'Til us poor folk, change our pain Up with arms! Was once the cry Gun control? They can't decide So many die every day This old world's in so much pain Its oceans fill with our tears Then some old guy grabs his beer He tries to kill and drown his sorrow Think he'll call in sick tomorrow? Peole take, people cry Oh my Lord, I don't want to die If I die before I wake Pray the Lord my soul to take This kids once said, before bed That what's really going on, inside their head? Am I really scared of dying? Hell no! Just no one crying Dying ain't so very bad Long as there's someone left, to be sad People take, people die Oh my Lord, think they'll cry? If I die before I wake Think they'll cry at my wake? If I don't leave my sign Will it be worth, for them to cry? Peole take, peole cry Oh my Lord, we'll soon all die Soon we'll all die And no one'll be left,no one to cry...
Have you ever looked at the world Through the eyes of a beast? What was hidden to human senses Unfolds itself in its utter beauty. The sounds of life Calling with certain urgency. The smells of life Teasing and drawing one to the hunt. The sights of life Filling one's senses. The taste of life Lingering on one's lips. Becoming an integral part of nature One blends into the surroundings Stalking for prey.
I take paper, lay it down, upon my life. I drag pencil across, make a rubbing. Here it is, the peaks, valleys, of one moment, caught by graphite.
She was standing across from me one day, just staring at me, looking closely into my eyes. I caught my breath. I looked back. We seemed to be almost twins, identical in appearance, but something about us was so different. I gazed back at her with new interest, tried to piece together the mystery. I wondered where her smile was, where her laugh had disappeared to. I wondered when she had grown so quiet, reserved, thoughtful. I could only speculate at who or what had tattered her spirit, what had filled her mind with the lies and distrust I could feel emulating from her, like a silent warning I would see tattooed on her body if she were to remove her clothes. She was once like me, I'm sure of it. And I wasn't around when she had grown a backbone of steel, that now held her stiffly upright as if she were afraid of the air around her getting close enough to touch her. When had the innocent blue windows of her eyes become the deep pools of cynacism that were challenging me with defiance? She raised her hand to me, and I thought she was going to touch me, but then she drew it back to her chest when she was only millimeters away from brushing my fingertips, and instead she held her hand tightly, as if trying to warm it. Where had she developed the ability to scorn the face of danger, to laugh when she was staring into his razorlike eyes, and fool him into thinking she was brave? Her gaze shifted for a second, and then she was studying me too, with that smirk on her lips. When she looked at me, I'm sure she was trying to determine the reasons for our differences as well. But only she seemed satisfied, and with a faint smile, nodded her head, as if she knew she had gotten all she could expect out of me and knew I was incapable of giving any more. She was content to let me be, to not question my how's and why's. I frowned and wondered where she had learned such a blind acceptance. I wanted to possess her qualities, I thought if I could only touch her... ...I reached out... And then she sighed, and closed the cabinet mirror in the bathroom, walked away... and didn't see my outstretched hand.
The secrets of my soul Some warm Some cold Some would make you laugh Yet some would make you cry You might think all I do is lie You might think I am a delicate craft Being built and bent and broke You might fold me In your arms and let me weep You might have a heart of coal And push me away I have so many secrets Would you like to know one? Well guess what? You already do.
He lives within his perfect world, Warm, safe and quiet, so serene - Until his home becomes besieged; A weapon with its lethal sheen. He tries to dodge the deadly thing, But there is nowhere he can run, He screams with pain, though no one hears; His brutal murder has begun. His limbs are ripped and torn away And he writhes with the awful pain As piece by piece he's torn apart 'Til just his bloody head remains. They crush his skull and drag it out So all that's left is bits and shreds Of flesh and blood and little guts, And so the murder victim's dead. No one heard his terror screams And no one felt his dying breath, And no one cared to let him live, Instead they sentenced him to death. His silent screaming shook the world Yet no one ever heard him die, So helpless, young, and innocent, A silent, slaughtered unborn child.
I am happy I am joyful Everything is all right I am content I am useful There's not even a need to fight. I am not hurt I am not scared Everything is real I am not dead I am not crying My soul is now healed. At first, I realize, very slowly Things are not what they seem Everything is hazy, It is all in a daze... It was only a dream.
