POEMS 13
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Your eyes on me Studying and watching Not sure to trust Afraid I will hurt you Afraid I will cause you pain The pain I have felt The hurt I have felt And have the same tears As I have had so many times So many painful, unbearable times But my love for you is too deep Too strong to cause pain Too strong to hurt.
An owl voices her forlorn call. Brown leaves rustle in the night's autumn chill, and the estranged moon glows beyond the shadow-borne clouds. A far rumble of thunder rolls across the ominous sky, and I sit quietly among the shadows of the forest. My heart is languishing, warmth is leaving my hungry soul. He is emotionally leaving me, and I am completely helpless to stop him.
I don't feel the des that bind. But you know, I don't really mind. My family is a fallen tree And we are all scattered leaves. This is the only life I've known -just a leaf on my own. Guess that I have grown numb, Because I don't really care Which tree I came from. Feel like I came from nowhere. I could have come from anywhere. I don't miss roots I never felt.
Will this moment never end? Is it what I deserve? Payment for a sin! Will it drive me crazy? Is that absurd? The moment of anguish, A mere moment of pain. Eternity in distress? Despair again and again. Raging silence in a mind without thought! Is this my moment of need? A falling star in this void! No relief, no plausible plead. Time so slow it could explode. The distance cold and dark, Bleakness engulfing the mood. Searching for hope, even a spark. Anything to break the darkness, sterile and crude. Let me out of myself, it's a trap! And yet alone. Yet alone. Alone! A spacious prison, With bars unseen. No one, no friend. No nightmare, no dream. A limbo, a purgatory. A moment of eternity. This is the untold story, Empathy without pity. An abrupt ending, that lasts forever Reading page two in an empty book, Maybe page three? Can't hurt to look.
I enterered a world, So different from the one I knew before. My security stripped away, Leaving me exposed and vulnerable. I look to unfamiliar faces, And long for the life I left behind. I am a child no longer, Yet I reminice on careless days, When I did not mind failing once in a while. Loneliness creeps up ever so often, Yet I know I am not alone in my endeavor. I am building my way towards a better life, Where i will teach, Rather than be taught. But do we ever really stop learning. I am so frightened by what lies ahead, Still I know I must move forward. I will carry on gracefully, Until I finally feel like the adult, I am assumed to be.
My life protected by the darkness of night. Embracing the shadows, shunning the light. Feeding on anger, thirsting for hate. An ancient promise describing my fate. Resigned to hunger for all eternity, Longing, but yet not giving in. Bound in solitude of immortality. Chained to shackles of mortal sin. Praying for light, too weak to sustain, Too strong to admit, driving me insane. Light imposes on the dark, Burning my eyes, absorbing my heart. Ending my life. But not to death I surrender, But to love.
I am ugly and beyond all hope I ignite my helplessness, and inhale the smoke I masturbate my mind every night I would scream and fight it all But I have succumed to fright I am beyond all hope I should do everyone else a favor And hang myself by a rope My soul is ruptured and torn Why the hell was I even born? I want to slumber forever I feel so low But the harsh truth of reality I want to live my life in anxiety To have you care for me To help me To hurt me If only my deflated heart would disappear I could rationalize I could relate I could be content I could love I could think clear. But it's not to be At least not for me I am so sick of this Sick of me Sick of you There is nothing I can do I could stand living in my self-made tomb If it weren't for the fact that I care about you Oh what a glorious thing, to never again think Never again love, care No one understands me, much less my shrink Nobody listens to me Nobody knows me Nobody loves me I am o so lonely And you Mother Father Friend Teacher Brother Everyone You all hate me And if you don't Then you should. Why, why can't I be understood... Reality is only an illusion Created by God So I don't care, I just simply smile and nod My underlying sadness Reinforces my sense of utter, sheer vastness My feelings say That I have got to pay Why can't I just evaporate Along with my eternal hate I am just a pawn in this game called life My heart cut out with feelings of sadness and strife If you prick me, I do not bleed Don't mind me, it's not as if I have needs Oh, what am I talking about I don't deserve to shout Never mind what I say I don't matter anyway.
Dreams and nightmares One so very wonderful And yet one so very dreadful They both come through sleep They both come from our minds They both come from our hopes and dreams And both prepare us for the future Dreams come in so many ways They come every few days And when they come They then leave Without traces Of ever being there And our mind is so bare Nightmares come mostly in gray And they stay Long and lingering Fearful and may Never leave They haunt us And we pray for them to go But together dreams and nightmares Make us who we are Dreams cause us to know We have something to live for Nightmares set us straight And prepare us for what might happen If things turn bad.
