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| RUNNING WITH THE HERD |
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| Lewis's Story |
| I first went into care when I was just three and lived in foster homes ever since really. I moved back in with my parents when I was about nine. I was in secondary school at the time, everything was running smooth. My dad was single at the time I was in care, and planned to get me back. We went to the high courts, he split up with his new girlfriend and there was all this drama. Social services didn�t really have a case, so I ended up back with my dad. I went into care due to my mum mostly; my dad at the time was living with his mum so he couldn�t really look after me. My mum was looking after myself and my sister, she was an alcoholic and mentally ill as well. It took a while for it to get noticed, but once it did I got took out of my mums and put into care. Things didn�t start off to well at my dads; I ended up staying there for four years, went to school and everything. I wasn�t really coping at school, and if it wasn�t at school, at home there would be family feuds everyday. I just got disclosed from my family, so I thought well it�s not the way to go, I decided to go into a children�s home. This brought me to where I am today. I started with cigarettes really, I still smoke to this day, and it just came natural for me. I feel cannabis is an escape for me, You can meet quite a few people as well. So your in this position, you don�t know the environment your in, and someone�s offering you something and there being your best friend about it. You just think it�s the done thing to do. Pills came about for me about a year ago now. It was just an experience for me, just young people about my age talking about it. I wouldn�t say I'm weak minded, but� I wouldn�t say I was pressured, but I was convinced it would be alright. I did have doubts but I ended up trying them. Everyone else was doing it so it must be ok. That�s pretty much how everything goes these days, people who find themselves in a struggle or something. I don�t know. It�s just an easier way of finding a way out, if your part of something that has a meaning. Being part of something and escaping from your reality and your problems. When I tried it, it was heavy� I took a Mitsubishi turbo, half to get me started and then got charged up on the other half. I was buzzing all night. I realised it wasn�t so good the next morning; it took a while to get over, headaches and everything... Taking pills wasn�t a one off for me; I took them again when I went to this rave. It�s not the sort of drug you can sit indoors while watching TV. It makes you energetic. The next time I took it I went to this rave, it was freaky because I was dancing and whatever. The next thing I knew it was morning. It makes you paranoid, it depends on the person. I felt myself getting paranoid, after that I left it. You�re still yourself but the drugs are taking over your mind, if you let it. I have known people who have taken stupid stuff like L.S.D; they�ve ended up scrubbing the lines off the road with their bare knuckles. I find that quite disturbing. Different people different things. I had a major breakdown about three months ago. I went onto cocaine looking for a way out me suppose. The initial buzz was good; it took me away, trying to be someone to make something of myself. |