November 1, 2003 7:12pm - I haven't updated this site in about two months. I really only update this site when I have a lot of things to say. I don't know if I have a lot of things to say today, but I feel like writing. I'm pretty sure a lot of things have changed. I don't really have that many friends anymore. I have Jimmy, Em, and Chelsey.. and that's about it. I mean, I'm nice to some other people, but I don't consider them friends. I don't consider a lot of people friends actually. It's so hard for me to trust people. I'm not sure why. I'm very scared of being betrayed. It's happened before. I just don't want to be hurt again.
Everything has been so unreal lately. It seems like a dream. Everything can be completely perfect at one point, and completely terrible the next. This last week was my worst week in a while. I know why. I just didn't get what I needed. I was waiting for something that wouldn't come. And I know it wouldn't come, but I still kept waiting.. making it worse. I should have just went to sleep early. Or kept myself busy with something else. I don't know. I was very paranoid this week too. I kept thinking that something terrible was going to happen. Some annoying things happened. Like Andrew. He always makes fun of me over and over, and if no one says anything about it to him, he'll just keep saying it. It's so annoying. I blew up at him after fifth hour. I stormed off. He didn't follow me. That's saying something. If you get in an argument and you storm off, the person should follow you if they really care. If they don't follow you, they don't care. Alice has said something like that before. I learn a lot of things from her. And other people.
Tear down the wall.
