thank you by led zeppelin

i'm back to zeppelin. just like old times. i got the rubber soul cd back today. i rejoiced. i drew the words, "rubber soul" in my notebook.. and shaded the letters. i love the beatles.
weird day today. my mind was wandering. i worried a lot. i hope em's okay. [she just signed online, i'm glad.] i also thought a lot. just about life. and what i have. who i'm associated with. i thought about my friends. are they REALLY my friends? does anyone honestly like ME? i remembered hearing people talking bad about their so called friends.. do my friends do that to me? probably. why wouldn't they? what would stop them? people talk about perfectly good people in horrible ways.. it's so terrible. but, eh, i don't know. i don't even care anymore. i think so much, it's organized best on paper.. in my red notebook. i don't want anyone to see that though. it's so incredibly private. if anyone were to read anything in it, i would probably break down. no one would expect it to happen. but i don't want anyone to know my thoughts. i don't want people inside of my head. too many things go on there. i get so confused, over the dumbest things too. i'm rambling.
i was so worried today.. i couldn't take it. i wrote a whole page about how scared i was. i wrote a letter to God. i asked for forgiveness. i asked for strength in one of my best friends. and He granted her that strength. she didn't do anything. i'm so glad. but i don't think she's doing too well. i would like to talk to her about everything, if she is willing. i love her. i'm glad i turned to God. it seems weird, and i never thought i would read that coming from me. but i believe in God now. i never thought that would happen again. but i'm so glad it did. i'll stop rambling about God now.
i'm still happy. i'm not letting myself be down. i'm not sad. i'm not angry. i'm just.. thoughtful. calm. but fearfully calm. i'm not letting anything get to me. today was just a breeze.. just a small wind in my life. it didn't have a great effect on me. it was just.. there.. and it passed. i read a lot. i read ghost boy. i'm about seven pages away from finishing sarah bishop. that book, honestly, is not that bad. i just got bored with it. i didn't want to read it anymore. but now that i've gotten back into it, i'm glad i didn't stop reading it. i have honestly never read a bad book. all books are good. some better than others. but if a book was bad, it would not be published. i appreciate all types of published writing, or all types of writing. i love reading. i love writing. it will always be with me.
"no matter what happens, i'll always have my notebook." great quote.
hm.. i'm done clearing my mind in this spot for right now. i plan on updating like this a lot more. how i used to. when i first created it. those were the days. i guess...

when there's hardly no day, and hardly no night at 3:41pm