chimchim cher-ee from mary poppins
sigh.. not a bad day, i presume. i watched mary poppins this morning at about 3am. and then today at about 10am. and then again whenever alice got on the computer. ...i can't get enough. i watch it for two reasons.. bert and mr. banks. also, the music.
i took apart this sock during church. alice kept poking my arm and telling me to stop, but i didnt. i just.. kept destroying it.
tom orum from the lifeteen band has a nice voice. he makes church fun.
i dont think i feel AS betrayed.. but in reality.. i am. i'm just ignoring it. running away from it. i dont want to deal with a situation that isnt positive.. i dont like doing that anymore. i have been wondering why people get incredibly depressed.. one of my best friends is that way. but.. what i've been wondering.. is.. do they just look for drama? do they just look for events that will make them upset? do they purposely get themselves involved in arguments or people that will tear them down? because they just cant live without the drama.. they cant live without the depression..? is that the case? because in reality, it's all up to the person to get out of the depression. if they arent willing to get out of it, they wont get out of it. i dont really know if i should be talking since i was one of those depressed people earlier this year. usually... depressed people listen to depressing music, correct? i know.. that when i was depressed, and listened to depressing music , i got worse. and i think the people KNOW it makes them worse, and they want to be worse. they dont want to be better. but ill have you know, i'm not talking about everyone.. just a select few.
good luck will rub off, when i shakes hands with you.
i hate when i try to help people.. because they are calling for help.. but then they dont accept the help. they dont want it. yet they are calling for it. i dont understand that.
i dont understand a lot of things. i think i understand love though.
i have noticed.. when i write stories, they always have some sad point to them. there's always someone with tears in their eyes. there's always someone with issues dealing with abuse, self mutilation, or just depression. i wonder why that is..... more people like sad stories than happy stories. why is that? i like sad stories better, as well....
i have it so good. if i ever complain about anything, kick me. honestly.. i have it great.
why are some of my good friends so depressed..? why cant they focus on the good points of life?
some people worry me........
my father gave me a newspaper article about the beatles' instruments. only he sent my mother to give it to me.. i dont know why he is so afraid to communicate with me.. i dont like how he can communicate with church folk better than he can with me. it seems to be only with me, too.. he can talk to alice. but not me.. i dont know why. BUT..
he supports the family. he supports us well. i appreciate him and respect him for that. i also respect him for his intelligence.
sigh.. big entry..

when there's hardly no day, and hardly no night at 9:27pm