NOVEMBER 22, 2002-8:19pm

"I have a dream today." -Martin Luther King Jr

Ahh yes, my world never changes. Annoying. The confusion sets in. My mood's strange today. I'm all upset. But I'm not sure why. Well.. it may be because I'm HERE. And I'm alone. And I have nothing to do. I mean come on, I was bored enough to make this. Tis not much, but tis a place to clear my mind. I had some suicide thoughts today. Asinine. I even typed up a letter. I don't know what I was thinking. I think back to that now, and I'm pretty damn stupid. I don't know what my problem is. I have no real reason to feel the way I do. Well.. maybe tis because I spend all my weekends at home. In this stupid house. With nothing to do. Getting myself more addicted to this computer. Ugh. I have no life.
I really hope Andrew and James don't flunk. That would suck majorly. They're two of my good friends. They better not flunk. It's weird without James at school. I always walked with him. I kinda can't when he's not there. I feel sorry for Andrew because he has to walk home from school everyday. That's gay.
I'm kinda worried about Jason.. I think that he actually needs some help. I don't know if he wants it. If he doesn't want it, then he won't be willing to receive it. But if he DOES want it, it will be easy for him to receive it. I'm not talking friend type of help, I mean like.. professional. Either that or he needs to see Mr. Hildebrand every other day. I think that he is deeply troubled, and I cannot help this time. Not a job for me.
I haven't talked to Em in a couple days. I don't know what's up with that. I only have a few female friends that I can hang out with outside of school. They are usually occupied. And if I do have friends that are available, they are male. Ugh. That's why I'm always home. Damn majority of friends being males.. Don't get me wrong. I love it that way. I hate girls. Well, most. I have my books, and my poetry to protect me. I am shielded in my armor. Hiding in my room, safe within my womb. I touch no one, and no one touches me
I'm such a dreamer. *Sigh* I'm loved. I love being loved. It's the best feeling in the world. The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. True.
The bus ride home was great fun. It consisted of watching friends try nasty candy and then giving it to the annoying 7th grader, Megan. She tried some and then went to throw it away. At the highschool, Chelsey and I were making fun of BC. Ha. Later on, Jeremy, the annoying 9th grader ate the nasty candy that was in the garbage and on the floor and.. well almost everything happened to it. The really funny part of it all was Alex and I talking like Jeremy. We were telling stories like the stupid ones Jeremy tells.
Alex:I have my fishing badge! And yesterday, I CAUGHT A BIG ONE! I mean it was HUGE! It was a bass. And it was gray.
Fred:Bass are brown.
Alex:Well this one was gray. And it was THIS *stretches arms out* BIG!! Then me and my dad took it back to camp. I have my fire starter badge. We started to roast it over the fire. And the flames were THIS *stretches arms out* BIG!! I mean they were HUGE. The bass started to turn brown. Then.. the LEAVES caught on fire! Luckily I had my forest fire badge. I just put that thing right out!
Good times. Very good times. Some of the best. It's always great when Alex rides the bus since everyone else is so gay. Caitlyn talks a bit too much about nonsense things. Fred tells the same stories over and over. When Chelsey and I talk it's ok, but I have more fun when Alex is there. No one's as crazy as him. But Chelsey is very fiesty when it comes to emergency exit windows.. teeheehee..
I'm done for today.

-8:58pm