| Elmer Pig Stories Eight & Nine |
| The Case of the Pulk February 5, 1982 Today I got my first case since "The Case of the Dead Dog." This case is hard to figure, as the Pulk is missing. How could anyone capture and hold or kill the Mighty Pulk? I was supposed to find him and, at any cost, save him. David Boarner's--who is the Pulk if you don't recall--sister hired me, offering me a $5,000 reward for success. February 6, 1982 Today I headed to LPFB headquarters, convinced that they must be involved in the Pulk's disappearance. I crept into their hideout and heard Lion talking to the others. "Well, the Pulk must've freed himself and somehow David Boarner replaced him. We'll have to go out looking for the Pulk later." I sat quietly, still wondering how they ever caught the Pulk and knowing they still had him (luckily they didn't though). "Oh yeah, how did ya'll catch the Pulk in the first place? After all, now we're gonna have to do it again," Lion asked. "We happened to come upon him asleep, threw a net over him, then put him in a truck. Once we got here, we chained him up to the wall--he's a really heavy sleeper!" Bear told the story, seeming quite proud of himself. Ah, now all I have to do is wait and save David to get my reward! February 7, 1982 While LPFB was in the kitchen fixing their breakfast today, I went over and started slapping David around. I told him that he was a dummy and lots of other names--poopy pants and flea bait come to mind. This didn't seem to rile him up at all, but then I heard LPFB coming. "Look David, I'm gonna tell them that you're the Pulk!" I hissed at David, then started toward LPFB. Almost instantly, I heard David changing into the Pulk--it makes some strange noises! Just as LPFB got even with me and grabbed me, the Pulk burst through the chains holding him to the wall. He ran straight for us, so LPFB dropped me and scrammed! I then told the Pulk that his sister wanted to see him and I was sorry for calling him names. He grinned, picked me up, and ran to his sister's house. There I got my $5,000 reward. Finally I can eat and get some new clothes...I really need some underwear! The Case of the Side-Turned Face February 28, 1982 Today I got a new case. I had to find out who murdered John Piggy. You see, they found a suicide note and believed it until 9-K (the robot dog a Time Porker left here) and I came to investigate. You see, we found that he had been shot just below the ear and the gun he supposedly shot himself with didn't have his fingerprints on it. (Seeing as how he wasn't wearing gloves, that's a pretty neat trick.) In fact, the gun only had BBW's fingerprints on it! I know BBW has done many bad things, but murder? The police went and picked BBW and LPFB up for questioning. I decided to keep investigating, certain that they wouldn't have murdered anyone. March 1, 1982 I found more clues, but all of them pointed to LPFB or BBW. I had to try to clear them, as they promised to pay me $10,000,000 if I could. They said that Flopsy and Alan Alligator would give 9-K and me the money as soon as we found such evidence. (Beaky Bat would check our information, then tell the aforementioned duo to pay us.) I finally found another clue...an alligator footprint! That pointed to Alan Alligator's involvement too, so the police picked him up. (9-K and I still figured Flopsy would give us the money should we be able to clear them.) March 2, 1982 Today the trial starts, so I'm really on the hook to find evidence of LPFB and gang being framed by a third party. After much searching, 9-K and I figured it out. Once I walked into the court room, confident in my new theory, Flopsy handed me the promised reward money. I walked up to the front of the court room, calling BBW to the stand. "Would Mr. Big Bad Wolf please come up to the stand?" BBW nervously sat down to testify after swearing he'd tell the truth (on the Bible). I only asked questions relevant to the case (otherwise I'd have heard objections) basing my lawyering on the great Piggy Mason. Once I was done, I turned to the jury and explained, "Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I will now explain what really happened. Obviously BBW and his colleagues are not guilty. You see, I found that John Piggy has a twin brother that inherited half the family's wealth." I glared at a hooded pig in the audience as I continued, "But John Piggy wanted ALL the money, so he bought a gun from BBW, certain to wear gloves for the exchange. That way he could blame BBW for the murder. So John Piggy is still alive, pretending to be his brother. The way I found out is that his brother had once broken his right leg and the dead pig had a leg obviously healed from such a fracture. So, would John Piggy please take the stand?" I asked, still staring at the hooded pig. Instantly, John Piggy jumped up and ran straight for the court room door. The police pigs easily grabbed him and cuffed him. "That should prove his guilt! LPFB, BBW, and Alan Alligator should be freed this instant!" I yelled, energized by my lawyering ability. The judge agreed, dropping all charges from LPFB. As I left the courtroom, Flopsy jumped me and took the reward back--except the $10,000 I put in 9-K. I knew I was going to regret helping LPFB, but not that quickly! |