Story 15
Written 7/2/01
January 1, 1985
I guess I should make a journal entry to explain what I've been up to for the past few years (why I haven't written anything in here a while). Though I haven't been taking any cases, I have been mentally busy. For the past few years, I've been studying under a new-age guru who helped me to realize that I was too focused on money so that my detective skills were becoming rusty. Now that I've given him all my money, things do seem so much more clear to me. (I have kept my car and house though...I'm not sure if that'll have a negative effect or not.) As a matter of fact, in one intense meditation, I had a vision about this reality: I saw that this universe was actually created by the discarded strands of a parallel universe's pop culture, though in the creation some of it was "twisted" in strange ways. (I realize that's why names like the "Pulk" make no sense.) Unfortunately, my guru thought this "realization" conflicted with his message, so I'm on my own again. Oh well, one day my realization will be accepted and respected. Until then, I'll just keep it to myself. Anyway, now I hope to pick right back up with my detetive work...luckily King Mutt kept my detective agency intact...
January 8, 1985
I already have another case involving mysterious destruction of property in the abandoned warehouse district of Picklevania (in the Pickled States of America). If I find out what's going on, I can earn a $5,000 reward. Since the destruction has been occuring at night, I think I'll take a nap before going.
January 9, 1985
Well, yesterday I over-slept, so this time King Mutt decided to go with me. We arrived in Picklevania about noon, then drove out to the warehouse district. After we parked, we took turns walking around or keeping a look-out at the car. Around 10 that night, a terrible noise awakened me. King Mutt and I split up to cover more ground, but we found nothing but another destroyed building. Oh well, we'll come back tomorrow.
January 10, 1985
Today we decided to take two cars so that we could park at opposite ends of the warehouse district. Again I was awakened by a loud crash. I ran toward the noise, trying to figure out exactly where it came from. The noise became louder and louder as I continued walking, pulling out my gun in the process as the noise was rather disheartening. As I came around a corner, I came to a shocked and sudden stop. There before me were two very unexpected "destroyers": Superpig and Superpickle! I yelled for them to stop and they did, looking very surprised and embarrassed.
"What's going on?" I asked, totally confused by the two heroes' behavior.
Superpig answered first. "I'm not putting up with this stupid pickle using SP on his suit! That's my trademark, gosh darn it!"
"You're full of bologna you super boob! I deserve to use SP more because you could use other letters: like SB for Superboar or SH for Superhog! I don't have any other terms that apply other than pickle! Besides, I don't have a secret identity like you, so I'm always Superpickle. That alone shows that I deserve to use SP more!"
By this point, King Mutt had arrived and overheard what the two were arguing and fighting about. "Look," King Mutt started, "you should both be able to use SP. There's no way anyone would confuse Superpig and Superpickle...Besides, SP is also used by Superpanther in Aughstralia, Superpossum in Alabuma, and Superprariedog in Apigera. Are you going to go beat them into submission too?"
Superpig and Superpickle both appeared chagrined by King Mutt's statement of the obvious. "No, I guess we are being silly and not very heroic. All of us should be able to share the SP trademark. Anyway, that might make all the merchandise with SP on it sell even better! We should probably set up some kind of profit-sharing plan with all the SPs!" Superpig spoke, smiling more broadly the more he spoke.
With that, Superpig and Superpickle agreed to stop fighting and fix all the destroyed buildings. Then I went and got my $5,000 dollar reward. This case also gave me something to think about...Superpig has a secret identity? I wonder what it might be...
January 11, 1985
Well, I still haven't figured out Superpig's secret identity, but I'm sure it's a good one! Anyhow, the city ended up asking the two heroes to go ahead and destroy all the buildings in the old warehouse district instead of fixing them...turns out they want to build a shopping mall there! So I guess everything turned out pretty great!