| Elmer Pig Stories Story 14 |
| The Case of the Blackeyed Peas July 5, 1982 Today I took another hard case. You see, regular peas have been beaten up and bruised so badly by someone or something that no one will buy or eat them. I was called to the case by Mr. Peas Porker (who is also Spiderpig). He said he was too busy for the case, so he wanted my colleagues (King Mutt and the Zots) and I to take it. I took it to help him out and get the promised $5,000 fee. I'll go to the pea market tomorrow after a good night's sleep. July 6, 1982 I headed to the pea market, but there wasn't much business...making it easier to keep an eye on everybody. I noticed a Grandma Wolf, a Lady Lion, a Pappy Panther, a Father Fox, a Brother Bear, and four suspicious-looking characters. As I watched the four suspicious characters, I noted that there was a bat, a pig, an alligator, and a dog. I started to suspect that the four were Beaky, Butcher, Alan, and Flopsy--known LPFB associates. As soon as the group left, I checked the peas to find that they'd been beaten up! Then I was confused because I watched the four suspicious characters the whole time! It suddenly hit me: the "family" was actually LPFB and BBW in disguise! I would have to try to think up a way to sell the beat-up peas instead of catching the dirty crooks...since it's a little late now! July 7, 1982 I concentrated on how to sell the beat-up peas. "Ah hah!" I thought to myself, "I can call them 'Blackeye Peas'--they definitely have black eyes!--and sell them like that!" I decided to call Peas Porker and tell him. Unfortunately, BBW decided that he didn't want me telling anybody. He kidnapped me, dragging me to LPFB headquarters, and chaining me to a pole. Oh well, I decided to rest and worry about getting away on the eighth... July 8, 1982 Today I woke up to see a friendly face just outside the nearby window: King Mutt. He came in, broke the chain with a bolt cutter, and took me outside. "Did you figure anything out?" He asked hopefully. "Yes, take me to Peas Porker immediately!" I shouted with delight. The Golden Pig then landed beside me and said, "I'll give you a lift!" As we started to fly away, BBW came outside and started shooting at us. I thought we were doomed, but quickly found out the Golden Pig is completely gold: the bullets just bounced off! We quickly got to Peas Porker and he loved my idea. Now I have another $5000 to take care of my mounting bills! |