In praise of impotence
I'll tell you about my physical state
Though you may find it too intimate
I contradict masculinity
I'm totally impotent phallicly
I'm impotent, my willy won't rise
I'm impotent, though you'd be surprised
I may be impotent phallicly
But I'm very much alive personally.
Saddam and Bush may have strong prongs
But they treat their willies as rockets and bombs
But my spare hormones don't worry me
I'm very much at peace politically
I'm impotent, my rockets won't rise
My gun is an earthworm in disguise
I've no ammunition, and I think you'll agree
That I'm very much at peace politically
Now, you may say I have no love
'Cos the thing in my trousers wcan't rise above
But there's one good thing about not being erect
My women friends may feel less threat
There are many ways to love your lover
Ways that many men never discover
My fingers and tongue have sensitivity
And I'm very much alive erotically
I'm Impotent, my willy won't rise
But life is short, so I improvise
I may be impotent phallicly
But I'm very much alive erotically
Now you may burble when you're in your cups
That I'm not a man 'cos I can't get it up
I may not have stories for your pub-crawl group
But I've no complaints about brewer's droop
And you may say my songs lack grit
'Cos though I'm alive I miss the best of it
My willy may be soft, but on one thing I'm firm
My songs will long outlive your sperm
I'm impotent, I can only piss
I'm impotent, but think of this
I'm impotent, but to make amends
My ego isn't tied to my cock-end
I'm impotent and life is fine
I'm impotent and the world is MINE
I may be impotent phallicly
But I'm very much alive and I love being me.