The Case of the Unseen Lady
Although I wasn’t there that night I can easily imagine what it must have been like. The museum must have been quiet after everyone had left and the night guard had locked all the doors. I imagine that at some point, not long after, a certain antique vase rose in the air and inverted. Something fell out of that vase. Not gloves. Not a velvet pouch. Just a slip of paper that looked like it was torn from a small notebook. I imagine that slip of paper would appear to float up into the air and unfold.
I understand the guard at the museum had quite a scare that night. He was lightly dozing between rounds when he was startled by the sound of a woman’s enraged scream. He called the police immediately and they searched the museum very thoroughly. They never found anyone and the diamond necklace was still secure.
The only thing out of the ordinary was a scrap of paper with writing on it. It seemed irrelevant and they assumed it was dropped sometime during the day. The paper read, “Meet me at the place where we first met.”
* * *
I sat in the stable at the end farthest from the door. It was relatively quiet except for an occasional sound of horses moving in their stalls. The stalls lined both sides and most were occupied tonight. It was dark outside but inside it was reasonably well lit.
Then at about the time I predicted I heard a car race up the road and suddenly slide to a halt. I looked forward and saw the door edge open slightly.
“I think that’s her car.” I heard Natalie say. Then I heard the door open and quickly slam shut. Natalie reported, “She’s here and she’s clear.”
I sat back and watched as the door was suddenly flung open.
“You!” I heard Priscilla’s voice say.
I held up a hand and called out, “I wouldn’t come any closer if I were you.”
“And why is that?” she spat with fury.
“Because,” I answered, “I’ve littered the floor with broken glass.”
Except for a cleared space there near the door up to the first stable, the entire floor of the stable was covered with loosely strewn hay.
I heard her huff and then say, “I don’t see glass.”
“Yes,” I casually agreed, “It’s much harder to avoid that way.”
“You! You!” she then let out a roar and a curry brush that had been sitting in the first stall rose and flew toward me. I had to duck. Then, with a yell, a shovel flew toward me but it didn’t reach me. Then a bottle of some sort of horse liniment, accompanied by an unladylike curse, flew right at me. I caught that one.
Then it all stopped for a moment. The objects and yelling stopped. Out of the first stable floated a pair of ladies’ riding boots. They happen to belong to Priscilla and had been shined by a stable hand for the next visit.
“Alright, Mister Drake,” Priscilla said as one boot and then the other stepped to the ground, “looks like you forgot one detail.”
Then the boots began to stomp forward across the hay-strewn floor. This is what I had been waiting for. Now I had a good target. I reached into my jacket pocket and held the talcum powder spaying device. I noticed the door to the stable closing. I knew Natalie would latch it as planned. Behind me on the chair was rope.
I stood up as the boots walked over to the shovel that had been thrown. It then rose into the air and came at me as the boots started to run to my location. I expected that I could block it.
The shovel rose high above my head and I grabbed it with one hand then shot the talc.
In that instant the shovel dropped and everyone froze in place.
“I swear I was aiming for her face.”
I heard Natalie gasp in the distance.
There before me, coated in soft white powder, was the unmistakable likeness of a mature woman’s bosom.
What I saw next was this ghostly image move in a way that is difficult to put into words. Imagine a person trying to brush off something that was spilt on them. While this uncanny looking action did not make the breasts disappear, it did create two ghostly hand-shaped images faintly coated with powder.
Although this momentarily diverted my attention, my partner kept her wits enough to do her job. I saw a blanket come out of a stall and rise up to cover the mostly invisible woman before me.
Regaining my senses, I grabbed the rope and knocked Priscilla to the ground. She screamed as I tied her ankles together. The boots made this the easiest place to start. I continued up and tied her knees together. Then, as she was hitting me with her fists through the blanket it was easy enough to catch her hands then reach under the cloth to hold them. The fact that the hands were lightly powdered also helped me locate and hold them while I bound her wrists.
When I tossed off the blanket I heard Natalie say, “Johnny! Cover her back up.”
I grunted in frustration, lifted the struggling woman before me and sat her in the chair. Then I placed the blanket over her body and tied her to the chair. Only her invisible head was out of the blanket.
She grunted and struggled for a while then said, “Am I bleeding?”
“Of course not,” I said, “what do you take me for? There’s no glass on the floor.”
At this she grunted and struggled some more. And used some very unladylike terms to describe me.
We all waited till Priscilla calmed down.
“Well,” I said, “Are you ready to talk?”
“You think you’re clever. Did you really expect me to take the Riviere without the gloves? All you’ve got is fingerprints on a vase. That proves nothing.”
“You’re right. Those fingerprints mean nothing however the fingerprints on the stolen goods found in your apartment mean everything. Each item attributed to the cat burglar has your prints. You were so careful at the scene of the crime but you carelessly handled things once you thought them safely in your possession.”
She was speechless. She was speechless for a long time.
Then she asked, “Okay, now that you’ve spoiled my fun, what are you going to do? You want this to go to court? My father has more lawyers than you can count. He’d never let anything happen to his little girl.”
“Don’t be so sure.” A voice from the last stall said. A dignified looking silver-haired man stepped out.
“Daddy! What … Why?”
I turned to him, “Well Mister Ambridge, here’s your proof. As I told you, your daughter has been using an invisibility formula to commit the burglaries.”
He stalked around and stood in front of the blanketed form, as it seemed to slouch lower into the chair.
“Why did you do it Priscilla?”
Her answer was soft and timid. “It was … entertaining.”
“Priscilla,” he said with a hint of pity, “You still haven’t learned. I’ve given you so much and you keep finding new ways to make mischief. Well maybe you’ll learn if I disown you.”
“No!” she cried. “You can’t!”
Mister Ambridge then turned to me. It was easy to see that this man could be formidable in the world of big business. But at the moment he looked a little humble.
“Well Mister Drake? Is there a way we can resolve this without an arrest?”
Natalie chimed in before I could answer. “Oh, private investigators don’t arrest people. They just work for individual clients.”
“But they could inform the police if they have information on a crime.” I countered.
“But…”
“Natalie,” I interrupted her, “What are you doing? The whole reason you came to my office in the first place was because of what this woman did to you. Now you want to go easy on her?”
Mister Ambridge glared at his daughter’s headless form. “And just what did you do to her?”
With a weak laugh Priscilla answered, “Your looking at it.”
When he made a quizzical face she explained, “I gave her the formula mixed with a bubble bath so that’d disappear.”
“But why?”
She sighed and said, “I thought she was another gold digger after Bradley for his money. I thought it would be poetic justice for the pretty model to lose her looks.”
Natalie spoke up, “Actually, Priscilla, you did me a favor. I learned something about myself when no one could appreciate my appearance. Well, almost no one.”
That last statement seemed to come in my direction.
“And now,” she continued, “I have an exciting new career.”
“Look,” Mister Ambridge said, “I don’t know how this voodoo works” – he gestured toward Priscilla’s blanket – “but the first thing your going to do is give back this formula.”
“Yes, daddy.” Priscilla said meekly. However, I seriously doubted she would give it all up.
Then he turned to me. “Mister Drake, I have a proposal. For a start, all the stolen items will be returned. In addition, each victim will receive considerable financial compensation for his trouble. I know that may seem like I’m buying their favor but I see it no different than paying a fine. Unlike most fines it will go to the victim rather than the state.” I admit I liked that.
He then turned to Priscilla. Although I couldn’t see her head, I’m sure she was looking up at him. He continued, “Also, each victim will receive a personal letter of apology.” Nice touch, I thought.
“But that leaves one problem,” he went on, “My daughter seems to have an insatiable lust for mischief.”
“For mischief, yes.” I agreed. And more, I thought.
“I need to keep a better eye on her. I need someone to act like a parole officer and keep her out of trouble.”
No. No. Don’t say it.
“Someone like you, Mister Drake. You and your unseen partner here would be perfect to …”
“To be a nanny to a spoiled girl.” I said. “I’m a detective, Mister Ambridge.”
“I could maintain you on salary. You need only tell me when she strays.”
“Daddy, no.” Priscilla said. “Not him. Anyone else. Perhaps one of your accountants.”
“I think he’s perfect,” he said to her, “He’s one of the few men I’ve met who you haven’t been able to twist around you finger.”
Not for lack of trying, I thought.
He turned to me again. “We’ll Mister Drake?”
I turned to Natalie but before I could ask her opinion she gave it.
“I think it’s a good idea Johnny. I’d rather have her where we could keep tabs on her.” Then she came in close to me and whispered, “We really need the money, too. She keeps turning up anyway so we may as well get paid for our trouble.”
I then addressed Mister Ambridge and told him my decision. It helped to know that it infuriated Priscilla.
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