The Case of the Unseen Lady
Over the years I’d had some rough stakeouts but the lobby of Tropic Heaven was very comfortable and elegant.
“Don’t get used to it.” I told Natalie, “Not all of our cases will be so cozy.”
Natalie was sitting next to me on a plush divan. To any observer we appeared to be a couple that found a quiet place to chat.
I had become so accustomed to Natalie’s attire of the previous few weeks that it seemed unusual to see her dressed as she was now. Her dress was sleeveless with a low décolletage and she wore silky thin stockings with open-toe shoes. She carried a pair of white gloves with her purse rather than wearing them. However, she wore no jewelry of any kind. She knew it could slow her down later.
“I’m just glad I don’t have to wear my sun glasses in here.” She said glancing around with her charming green eyes.
“But you packed them, right?”
“Don’t worry, Johnny, I’m ready to be seen, unseen, and maybe a few things in between.”
Our targets, Mister Herman and his mistress, arrived only an hour behind schedule. They went to the desk as the bellboy unloaded the bags and the valet took the keys.
I went to the front desk to get an ashtray. I had timed it well and heard the man behind the desk say, “and here’s the key, Mister Johnson, room 514.”
Ten minutes later Natalie and I were in the boiler room where I had earlier hidden the suitcase that we had brought and a hotel uniform that I had barrowed from the employee’s locker room.
Natalie took out the jar of vanishing cream from her purse and rubbed some into her hands. “This amount is good for several hours.” She looked at me and smiled. “I’ve been practicing. I’m getting the hang of the timing.”
Natalie’s smile started to fade. And by that I don’t mean she stopped smiling, I mean her entire head was fading from view. All the time I had known her, Natalie had worn dresses or blouses with high collars and long sleeves. Now, in this relatively open dress the effect was entirely different. Her relatively low neckline allowed me to see deeply within the dress.
“Well?” She said. “Aren’t you going to turn around?”
“Are you still shy?”
Just then, we heard a key in the lock.
Now, in my line of business there’s always a risk of being found in a place where I didn’t belong. It’s always good to have an excuse prepared. Being that I was about to be found with a woman, my first instinct was to kiss her so that it would seem that we were lovers looking for a little privacy. But off the top of my head I couldn’t think of a good reason why my partner was not a woman but an empty dress. So, at the last moment I pushed Natalie to the corner so that she was behind the door when it opened. An instant later I was facing a janitor.
“Where’s the casino in this rat hole?” I slurred.
“Sir,” the janitor said cautiously, “this is the boiler room. Maybe I can help you back to the lounge.”
“Private game.” I continued as if he hadn’t said a word. “Johnny said there was a craps game down here. I want to get in on the action! A piesh of the action.”
The janitor tried to calm me. This wasn’t the first time I’d used this act. It had come in handy on many occasions over the years.
However, this time I had a very exceptional distraction. Behind the door Natalie, realizing that she would be safer when totally invisible, began to undress. I tried not to stare since it might draw the janitor’s attention to where I was looking. Still it was difficult not to watch.
The dress slid down over her bust, then hips, and then fell to the floor. This exposed a brassier, step-in style briefs, a garter belt and two silky stockings. Even though I knew full well that it was Natalie standing there, I couldn’t shake the impression that I was seeing vacant garments. The brassier unfastened itself first and fell away. Next the garter belt released the stockings one at a time then undid itself and fell off. The briefs gave a bit of a wiggle as they slid down and then the stockings seemed to melt away one at a time. It was as if the lady had dissolved.
By this time, I had the janitor by the lapels of his jacket insisting that I needed some action. Gambling action, of course. But I had to tone it down a bit when he threatened to shout for hotel security.
“Okay,” I said to the janitor, “You win. I’ll just go back to my room.”
“That’s a good idea, sir,” he agreed, “let me help you. What’s your room number?”
I picked the room number next to our target although I didn’t know if it was occupied at the time. If it were, then I would curse my memory and pick a new room. Fortunately, it was vacant and the janitor had a set of master keys. I claimed to have lost mine in the bar and he assured me that I could get another key at the desk but that I’d have to pay for the first one if it wasn’t found. I then tipped him generously because things really worked out well. Now we had a room free of charge until the desk gave it to someone else.
I waited for a while and wondered if Natalie had been paying attention when I said the room number. I stopped wondering when the door swung open then slammed shut.
“You cad! You watched me undress!”
“Did you hide the suitcase again when you finished?”
“Is that all you have to say?”
“Natalie, listen to me for a moment.” She let out a breath and I continued. “In this sort of work you have to expect to work rather closely under sometimes intimate conditions.”
She was silent and I wasn’t sure if I should go on. The total absence of visual clues was very frustrating.
“Is that it?” She finally said, “Is that your excuse?”
I thought fast trying to think of a better one. Then I decided to be blunt.
“Miss Taylor, are you, or are you not, at this very moment standing before me naked as the day you were born?”
That must have gotten to her because she changed the subject.
“We can’t share a room.” She said flatly.
“We’re not. Once we accomplish our task we grab a taxi out of here. Now the incident downstairs cost us some time so let’s continue as planned.”
I cautiously went back to the boiler room. No one saw me as I retrieved the suitcase.
About 20 minutes later I was knocking on 514. I announced, “room service.”
Mister Herman answered the door and I wheeled in the cart covered in white linen. Upon the cart was a bottle of pink Champaign in a bucket of ice. The linen hid the object beneath the cart. I didn’t see anyone else in the room but heard the shower running. I thanked him for his tip and left the cart. The tip was paltry. This guy was tighter than Alcatraz. The important thing was that I had left the door wide open during the entire transaction.
Once back in the corridor I stood around the corner and waited. I was still close enough to make out some sounds from the room. The shower stopped and I could hear voices. Then the pop of the Champaign bottle. I imagined that things would heat up quickly.
Some time later, I heard a woman scream. I rushed to the door and hurriedly picked the lock. When I opened the door, a camera flew past me. It came so close to my face that I could feel the warmth from the spent flashbulb. I continued into the room and asked if there was an emergency.
The woman said, “A camera! A camera just took our picture! All by itself!
Mister Herman was furious. “I didn’t see it but someone must have snuck in here. What kind of place are you running?”
“I’ll get hotel security.” I said excitedly and I ran off.
* * *
Later that evening I was in the back of a taxi with a heavily shrouded Natalie.
“I can’t believe I did that?” She whispered. “Do you know what I saw tonight? I feel like a peeping Tom. It was obscene, Johnny.”
“Welcome to the seedy underbelly of the private investigation business. If it bothers you, I can deal you out of these hands.”
She quietly watched the road for a while, and then asked, “Is Missus Herman going to get that photograph?”
“Absolutely. With that sort of evidence she’ll own that dog track in no time.”
“Okay.” She said, “Deal me in again next time.”
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