He seen the sign �Auditions 4 da School Play.� He didn�t understand such slang. He kept reading. �In da audotorium.� He realized auditorium was spelled wrong, so, he went into the auditorium.
Irwin saw lots of people in the aud. When they saw him, they immediately plugged their noses. A few of them left. He saw a sign that said �Line up here.� Naturally, being a nerd, he obeyed the sign.
A boy named Drake said, �Next.� Irwin looked around very hesitantly. Nerds don�t like to be first.
�Next!� said Drake loudly.
All of the sudden, George ran up and did a funny little monkey dance. Irwin laughed and laughed and laughed so hard that he had to use his inhaler.
�Next,� said Drake. Irwin went on the stage. Naturally, a normal nerd would�ve fainted. But Irwin�s not a normal nerd. He�s a super nerd. Irwin, feeling his new found powers, started to cry.
�Perfect!� replied Drake. �He�s good for our lead!� Irwin had the picture of himself leading a marching band. �Wouldn�t that be wonderful?� he thought.
Once everybody heard this news, they all quit, except for George and Irwin.
�Here you go guys, study this and be back after school,� said Drake handing over a script.
�Oh boy! I�m good at studying!� replied Irwin. He did a funny little butt wiggle and ran off hurriedly.
Irwin read the title as he did a traditional nerd walk. It read �The Sad Clown� by Drake Caruso. Irwin read the whole thing. It was mainly about a sad clown who got a pet monkey. It was a good story, but it had no relation to school.
The next day after school Irwin went down to the auditorium. He thought they were going to go over the study of the story and he would get extra credit for writing a four-paged essay. Drake didn�t even pat attention to it. Irwin just ran around in circles vividly until his anger ran out.
�That�s my part,� responded George to Irwin�s actions. When those words came out of George�s mouth, Irwin realized he was wheezing so he immediately took his inhaler. Nerds hate running. That�s why gym is their worst subject.
Then Irwin noticed his pants were too low, it was aligned with his bellybutton. (Remember for nerds this is low.) He pulled them above his ribcage.
�Attention!� said Drake. �We need to get to work. Let�s start on page one.�
Irwin went through the whole booklet three times and couldn�t find page one. He pondered for a minute. Then he raised his hand.
�Irwin, I�m not a teacher, so you don�t have to raise your hand to speak to me,� replied Drake.
�Well,� started Irwin, �there�s no page one.�
�So- I mean oh yeah. Start on page two.�
They rehearsed and rehearsed and Irwin kept improving. But then, you got to realize that he�s a nerd and he was still bad at this.
Finally, the play. Irwin was nervous. He fainted three times, which is a lot for Irwin. Usually he faints once a day. He drank lots of water before the play, which was pretty dumb.
He was performing, but then he realized he had to urinate. He even did �the potty dance�. Irwin could hear Drake mutter something offstage.
Then all of the sudden, Irwin felt relieved. He looked down and seen a yellow stain on his white pants. And even lower there was a puddle. The only thing he could hear at this time was a bunch of �hahas�.
Drake was crabby. But Irwin ran offstage to change his pants. A little boy ran up to him and asked, �Do you have any diapers in your backpack?�
Irwin felt his super nerd powers and cried. He surely felt like a �Sad Clown.�