To anyone who will listen
Today is the end off my life.
I had to say goodbye to my life
And say hello to one I have yet to take in
With the world changing for the worse
I have to change for what people say is for the good.
Those days are long gone when all that mattered was will it rain today
And how long can we play outside
The lives are going fast. No one can go back to the lives they once had
And knowing this and trying to say afloat in this new life I was dropped
Into is getting the best of me.
My arms are getting tired from trying to stay afloat.
All I am a fishing Bobber in the choppy ocean.
Where the fish are mean with their sick games; pulling me
Under and letting me go. When I start to get use to floating
I am pulled under. And I close my eyes and try to take a breath its only water
I breathe in. I struggle for air. I kick and legs and flap my arms to get to
The service but I’m just growing tired. The Water is tossing me in cycles under the water. I can’t even tell which way is up now.
The deep depth of and dark ocean is worse than living now. I can’t see what’s coming
my way.
Oh God if your there hear my prayer. I prey to you this night of many for the grace and forgiveness of my being. I am shamed for the things I have done and for the things I have let done to me. I prey for you to forgive my scares I have made on your body.
I prey for the forgiveness of knowing that I have not been a true wife. The thoughts I have allowed to pass threw me have been unholy. And for that I know you must punish me. I have been trying to forget the life I left behind for this life you have giving me.
I love my Daughter and I thank you for making her perfect. Oh god helps me keep her safe. Keep me strong on those days and nights when all she wants to do is cry. And when all I want to do is run away and end things now for me. But knowing she would be
Alone in this sick world I did not ask to see. Help me be there for her. I love her more than my own life. And would gladly give it up for her. And the sad thing about that is I
Hoped I wouldn’t give it up with out a fight. For my head is filled with suicide again.
And I know you know this. And I can’t seem to understand why you let me suffer so.
Those lonely nights when the world outside is dark with night and I lay in my pain crying for light of day to hurry.
You let us cry and worry that tonight is the end.
Knowing I have tried so many nights to end it. Putting my body on the line.
And you let me. You didn’t try to stop me on those nights I hoped would end by going to the unknown.
Walking through the killers lane alone and afraid that I would make it out alive.
God You play such cruel games with my mine. You should help people Not
Let them live a Life or pain and tortured!
Death itself is the True light of my nights.
