4:54PM
Have to go to work today. Sex on the Beach, Oxy's premier party is supposed to be tonight...don't know if I really want to go or not....
3/30/01
12:12AM
Well, yesterday was an interesting day. Went out with Kate to Express and Victoria's Secret. I was good and didn't buy anything, Kate was bad and bought lots of stuff. Oh well. Came back and went out to dinner with Mel, that was good. Went to Senor Fresh, ate tacos and quesadillas. That was good. Hung out and read until midnight, but first met with my group for Anthropology of Children and Childhood. I'm tired, but my roommate went to sleep before 11:00PM. Must be nice. Enjoying life right now, not too stressed, going to be a great year next year and am very excited. Gave Zach a back rub tonight. He and I agree that being single is great, forget trying to date, it's too agonizing. I like having my own life and not having to tell people that I have to plan around my boyfriend like Kate does.
3/28/01
9:29PM
So, today is a good day. I think....I got to meet Professor Tobin's wife. She's great. Ate Thai food at classic thai, found out that Marion Zimmer Bradley's awesome book, The Mists of Avalon is going to be a TNT mini-series this summer. Love the book. Have alot of work to do tonite...better go.
3/27/01
8:47PM
Sitting in front of my computer, eating ramen noodles, the good kind from the chinese supermarket, and thinking, I don't really need a boyfriend, and I'm pretty happy being single right now. After being in a relationship, you realize, that it's not all that it's cracked up to be, and the stress of dealing with a person that youc are about and aren't sure how it will affect you in the end is not part of your life...it makes me feel content. singledom is nice, to all you people out there that bitch and moan about not having someone special. But you do, we all have special people, and I think if you devote your time to one special person, you miss out on all the other special people out there that effect you in lots of little ways.
3/26/01
8:15PM
School started today. Yucky, though Professor Sewell paid me 300 dollars for taking care of the bunnies and cats. Garrett's back, Maly's sick, and Kate may have found us an apartment.
3/24/01
10:46AM
Am sick now, yucky, have a bunch of junk stuck in my throat. Have to work today too. EWWW!! Have a shitload of stuff to do that I didn't do over break. Exactly what did I do for break? Can't remember, but I do know that I didn't get anything done.
3/23/01
10:46PM
Didn't go to the beach today, but I got my teeth cleaned by the dentist and didn't have any cavities. Yah!! Going to make Chow Fun tomorrow, so it's going to be interesting. Have to work, have lots of work to do, should have started it earlier...oh well.
3/22/01
11:57PM
Tired and sick now. But am sad that spring break is almost over. Maybe go to beach tomorrow after I get my teeth cleaned. Helped make tandoori chicken tonight with Mel. It was Good!! Have a lot of homework to do....but that's ok. Hopefully we'll get to do something fun tomorrow...Been thinking about not living with Kate this summer. Don't want to have to worry about making rent. I can't wait until next year when I get my own room and don't have to share or worry about when my roommate's boyfriend is going to spend the night or if I'm going to walk in on them or be locked out of my own room. The simple pleasures in life.
3/20/01
12:36PM
Vegass was Great! Got a wallet and purse for only $20 and a pair of slippers from hush puppy to wear around the dorm. I had lots of fun, even though I didn't gamble. Well, gotta go and take a shower, and do some errands.
3/19/01
12:28AM
So I finished washing clothes, made my bed, now ready to sleep. Been in that stupor lately, the I'm on Spring Break stupor. NICE. Rachel and I had dinner together. She's so cute, we're talking about boyfriends and she asks if it's really better being single and if I thought any Oxy guys were cute or worth dating. Hmmmm. I don't know the answer to the Oxy men question Rach, but I do know that if you needed to be in a relationship, you'd be in one. Whether or not it was healthy or not is not the point, but I think that we need to value our time alone, being alone isn't that bad. For a society that values self-reliance and individuality, we just can't seem to think of ourselves as units outside of a relationship. When we're in that single state the goal is to not be in that single state, or it's not where we want to be. Single implies this absence, that we're without, but I don't think so, or at least I don't think so right now...ask me again tomorrow.
On a lighter note, I've discovered a new favorite saturday afternoon show, check out Queen of Swords it's GREAT!!. It has my other favorite television male on it, Peter Wingfield who played Methos on Highlander. LOVE HIM!! He is such a hottie. Why can't men like him go to Oxy?
3/18/01
7:47PM
Vegas Baby. I'm excited to just be done with everything. Yeah. Now I have to pack for Vegas, and I don't want to. I did read a book for one of my classes, so I am very proud of myself, and I washed clothes so I was very productive. It's amazing what gets done when there's nothing to do like papers, class and silly stuff like that.
Looking at Mel's log today, "Is it okay to change your mind when you're dealing with others' emotions? Obviously you can't help how you feel. But what if you say something and then change your mind... is it fair to drag them along for the emotional rollarcoaster you are on? Yes. No. Yes. No. Maybe.... I dunno... I need to make up my mind before I can share what's going on in my heart." hmmm....I don't quite know what to think about that. Maybe we shouldn't let people know what's going on in our hearts all the time, but if we don't, then they don't know how we feel, how to treat you or how to gauge and react to things in response to you.
3/16/01
5:08PM
Finished with my paper, had lunch with Ryan. Then a boring class. Now going to do laundry. Lunch was good. Went to Crocodile Cafe and have vegetarian ravioli. I think I've finally cleansed him from my system. Good am glad and I'm sure the rest of my friends are too, so they won't have to hear about him anymore.
7:54AM
So, I have two pages of my four page paper done. Yeah. Am so very tired with a headache to boot. Oh well, try and get it done before class at 11:30. Then I'm going to lunch with Ryan. Don't know how excited I am about that. Feel kind of bad about not taking Garrett to LAX, but feeling as I do now, I don't think it would be a good idea for me to brave Friday rush hour traffic...cause I definitely feel like shit today, lucky Ryan.
3/15/01
8:40PM
Afro-haitian was a major workout tonight. Have to write paper now.
3:47PM
I got RA!! Yeah!! I'm happy. Mid term over, now I just have to write a 4 page essay. Excitement dying. First I need to take a nap. Yesterday Jen and I went to Ikea and bought stuff....namely some really cool lamps and stuff, so the room is bright and pretty. Now I'm going to take a nap.
10:06AM
Have a mid term today. AAUUGGHH!! And a paper due tomorrow that I haven't started and a shit load of reading. Am not excited with all the stuff that I have to do today. Was upt until 2:00AM studying at Fowler. And we all thought that only bio, chem and physics majors lived in Fowler....Am still tired, but will think about that after the mid term.
3/14/01
10:56AM
Well, life is interesting. Didn't want to get up this morning, dreams are way too good. Have to go get something to drink before class.
3/13/01
11:54PM
So, Dark Angel was awesome. I love Logan Cale. He is a hottie. Too bad he's 33 years old in real life. Hector emailed me today. Don't know what to think about that. A little numb, a little pain, a little grief and sadness. He was talking about Derek Fisher's great ball game. I missed it. I don't really watch the Lakers anymore. Too painful. Why does it still hurt? Some things friends can't be there for. It hurts still, a lot.
I find out about RA in two days, and NO, I don't expect you to tell me. Do you really think I would? Whatever.
5:30PM
Afro-haitian tonite, plus a new Dark Angel. Have a shit load of work to do, but that's ok. Don't think I'm going to take Garrett to the airport. It isn't fair that he asks me a favor and then makes it inconvenient for me.
12:04PM
I hate computers and geocities. Stupid thing won't save my damn work. Promised Garrett to take him to LAX, find out that he schedules it to take off when my class starts at 3:30, of a Friday. I know he wants to see his girlfriend, but he has not sense of what Friday traffic is like, and I suspect he doesn't really care. Then Ryan tells me that Friday is the only day he'll be able to take me out to lunch. STUPID MEN!!!
3/12/01
6:02PM
So what do you think of my new design? It looks reminiscent of a certain someone's layout. I'm not trying to copy, I'm just playing around. I espcially like how Jen made her web log fade into existence from the main page. don't worry I'll find an application for my new foudn table making abilities soon. Class was good today, I actually read for it. Thinking that I just need to get past everything. Only two more months of torture and then the torture of finding a job. SHIT. Not to mention I have to pay off my credit card soon. That would be helpful. YUCK.
3/12/01
10:31AM
I hate a few men (zach said to say a few and not just men because that would imply that I hated them all and that I'm a hypocrite). Stupid. Ok, I can't concentrate and read when he's standing outside talking. Yeah, I know, stupid reason not to be able to study, but I get this sad angry yet euphoric feeling because I know he's outside there. YUCKY!! Zach and Nick think I'm insane, but it's just something I have to work through.
3/11/01
10:19PM
So, today was a brain-rotting day. Watched cable tv all day. Forgot to mention the fortune teller last night. Pretty interesting. Mel had a good reading, and so did I. The lady told me that I should expect someone who knows me try to get closer soon. She told me that I'm not involved with any long term relationship right now either. Not surprising. Also that I'm very directed and I know what I want to do and how to get there. That was part of the palm reading. The tarot reading said that I'm carrying too much right now and that i need to give something up. It also said that I am involved in a balancing act. She then asked me if I was double majoring. What a surprise, I just happen to be double majoring. she said that it is typical of geminis. She also said that she sees happiness in my future, and that I don't plan on moving around, I'm staying near my home base. Interesting again.
1:42AM
Da Getaway was ok. Had a little fun gambling. Had a lot of fun dancing with Jeff and Danny, they're great swing dancers. Stupid you-know-who didn't dance with me, though he looked quite nice dressed up. jerk. I know what's the problem, have to work through it.
3/10/01
1:10PM
Nick made homemade potstickers last night. VERY YUMMY!!. Tonight is Da Getaway, an Oxy party ending the week of the Assaination Game. Maly got herself in a lot of trouble over that silly game. I'm getting dressed up, though not in the traditional twenties style, and I refuse to swing dance. Why does it happen when you think you're finally over something, have reached an emotional calm in your life, being happy single, you see the object of your affection again, and wonder, "what am I missing in life?" Again, boyfriend wanting syndome. NOT good. It's not too bad this time, I'm too busy to think about it. Though I did get picked up by this nasty guy in a yellow VW bug. EWWWW!! A real man would never have to stoop to picking random girls up on the street. PLEASE!!
3/9/01
10:46AM
Did not want to get up this morning. Had an interesting dream...very nice. Been awhile since I specifically thought about him, too busy with other stuff. Mid term today. Hope I'm ready. Just thinking about people, and am glad that I don't have all the problems that other people have.
3/8/01
11:47PM
Studied for the Bio Anthro Midterm tomorrow. Am confident that it will bomb...ok, I think I'll do decently provided that my brains don't turn into mush and ooze out of my head, which is always the possibility when it comes to mid terms. I have to bunny sit this weekend, and I'm excited. Money Money Money makes the world go round. I think that money is nice, clothes are better, and a paid off credit card is the way to go. Afro-Hiatian was great tonight. Had an awesome workout, a good study session and hopefully a good night's rest.
Talked to Prof. Chin today. She is AWESOME. I think she's great, I think I want to do a summer research project next year and she's encouraging me to do it. I think dating ads are the way to go. Who gets called who doesn't and what people are looking for. Only research will tell!!!
Maly did the most awesome stunt today. She escaped out the library through an unauthorized exit. Hope she's doing ok out there.
4:54AM
Well, the day went ok, hungry, but not willing to go eat before Afro-haitian.
9:26AM
Is it just me, or are people having problems? I don't think that they create problems for attention, I just think that problems exist, whether we admit to them or not. Feeling better, but the cold is starting to settle in my throat. Fucking pain in the ass if you ask me. (Not like I would know what a fucking pain in the ass would be). Lots of my friends have been having issues lately, from Jen, to Kate to Mel. I don't blame them, men are a pain in the ass.
On a lighter note, my uncle wants to pay me to create a web page for his company. I'm excited something new to do on top of all the work I have. But at least this pays. I'm also going to Vegas with Mel, Erin, Nick, Mark, Jen and maybe a couple of other people for Spring Break. Oh yeah, Vegas baby. Also have a couple midterms and a paper to do, but hey, what's little stress in one's life? In the end, it's all water under the bridge. I just did the color quiz and it spit this at me:
Your Existing Situation
Working to create for herself a firm foundation on which to erect a secure, comfortable, and problem-free future, in which she will be granted respect and recognition. Your Stress Sources
Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and to bridge the gap which she feels separates herself from others. Anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to explore all its possibilities, and to live it to the fullest. She therefore resents any restriction or limitation being imposed on her and insists on being free and unhampered. Your Restrained Characteristics
Remains emotionally unattached even when involved in a close relationship.
Wants to broaden her fields of activity and insists that her hopes and ideas are realistic. Distressed by the fear that she may be prevented from doing what she wants; needs both peaceful conditions and quiet reassurance to restore her confidence.
Your Desired Objective
Needs to feel identified with someone or something and wishes to win support by her charm and amiability. Sentimental and yearns for a romantic tenderness.
Your Actual Problem
Seeks to avoid criticism and to prevent restriction of her freedom to act, and to decide for herself by the exercise of great personal charm in her dealings with others.
Your Actual Problem #2
Has a fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants. This leads her to employ great personal charm in her dealings with others, hoping that this will make it easier for her to reach her
objectives.
3/7/01
3:04PM
Feeling better today. Thinking how much we depend on friends. I'm glad that I have friends who will go out on the line for me, and also just the friends who ask if I'm feeling better or tell me to. It makes me feel special. The bubble, just like altruism doesn't exist, and no one should have to live in one. On the plus side, I'm feeling well enough to scarf down a cherry garcia ice cream stick. Hang in there Mel. Now that I think about it, I wish I could be a bitch too, being a bitch is so much fun.
3/5/01
9:11PM
Feeling sick now. Go to bed. yucky. oh yeah, check out Jen's Never Fall in Love site. Check out what I wrote. hehehe
9:11PM
So, just saw White Anthro Boy in the computer lab. Interesting....whatever. He still mumbles and trails off in real life. Too bad, he's kind of cute in a white kind of way. Mark shaved off his goatee. Makes him look ten years younger. Mel is in the CTL right now. Wonder is Jen came in yet. Probably shouldn't be in here not doing work, but oh well. So much for the attempt.
8:19PM
Well, I've been acknowledged. I feel weird, that's ok. Re-evaluation of my feelings. Yes, I still care for him, and I'm not afraid to feel. Not acting on it is the problem.
9:51AM
ok, don't want to go to school today. Don't want to stress out about my finances. Want to get some more sleep. Anything else? Oh yeah, have to look for jobs and apartments soon. Might go to Vegas with a bunch of people, Jen needs someone to shop with. Guess where we're going to stay?? the Venetian!! Last night was ok, I ate enough food to feed me and my baby. Love Mongolian Barbeque. Have my job interview today, but I don't think I'm going to take it, if it's what I think it is, which would be canvassing. I hate asking people for money. It sucks. I'd rather go to a temp agency and find a job through there, that way I can ask for nine to ten dollars an hour or something.
3/4/01
11:12AM
Have lots to do today. Have to pay Macy bill, go to work and check schedule, visit my mom and maybe my uncle. Did I mention all the other work I have to do?
1:47PM
The "4" key is sticking on my computer. Getting over my down period. Things are gonna be ok, just gotta not let people affect me. Like Mel says, gotta not allow myself to get angry with people. In other words, choose not to be angry with them. Now that I think about it, nobody comes and visits my site anyway, so I could basically write about anything I want to. Poor Kate, she got sick last night after she went home. The bodka did her in, and also her bf's behavior. I won't say anything derogatory...I won't.....stupid men. I think I did pretty well, a shot of vodka, two wine coolers and two beers. Mild, now that I think about it. I'm glad, it would be too tempting to run down naked to a certain someone's room and ask for sex.....Garrett...oh yeah....."ee" "ee".."uh" "uh"...hahaha. So check out my new acknowledgements page, where I give basically a cast of characters to this drama. Also, check out the requirements to be the Ultimate Man and also Garrett's web page dedicated to his new car Karma
3/3/01
9:18PM
life ok. Feeling kind of down...whatever.
3/2/01
10:32PM
Kate fighting with boyfriend, Jen fighting with boyfriend....see a trend? I think so. Mel and I were talking about that. We've noticed that in general women play more games than men do. However, we seem to be two girls who don't enjoy playing games, and we crush on guys who do. What is up with that? Got to drink tonight...it was pretty nice. Watched X-Men on Kate's DVD player. Hugh Jackman is HOT!! Kate and I would seriously have a three way together just to have him. We would share him. Oh well. Love Garrett, he's a big pain in the ass, but I love him. I've also become very indifferent when it comes down to matters of the heart. Oh well, I don't care anymore what anyone thinks of me, especially Maly. I guess you have to learn who cares about you, and who takes advantage of you.
3/1/01
11:13PM
I think that I need some time alone, in my room, by myself...to reflect. I think people think they need to be around others all the time...heck I do it too!!! We forget how nice it is to be by yourself, enjoy only having your thoughts floating around in the air around you. We forget how important personal space is when we become immersed in other people's lives. Friends ARE important, but so is your personal time. Separate!!
1:0PM
Garrett's car looks great!! As soon as he gets the engine it, it will be even better. Been thinking a lot about how I've been changing within the last month. For better, or for worse? Sometimes I'm too harsh with people, other times I let them walk all over me. Should this be a problem? Should I be consistent? Am I male-bashing too much? I don't think it was that bad until Marcie told me that she always hears me man-bashing. I really didn't think that I was, but maybe I am. What is it about me that leaves me open to being teased. I really don't like it, it hurts, it's always hurt since I was a kid. Am I being too sensitive again? But if it hurts, then it must be really just how I feel.
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