February 2001
2/28/01
10:12PM
Well, the day was hectic as usual. Went to this awesome talk by Karen Brodkin, as professor at UCLA. The best part is that we got to go out to dinner for free at Saladangs, this great Thai restuarant. Now have a shit load of work tonight. Jen sent me this email, it's great!!
A Fairy Tale for the Assertive Woman
For the princess in all of us
For women everywhere........
Once upon a time,
in a land far away,
a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess
happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow
near her castle.
The frog hopped into the Princess' lap
and said: Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome Prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young Prince that I am
and then, my sweet, we can marry
and setup housekeeping in yon castle
with my Mother,
where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children,
and forever feel grateful and happy
doing so.
That night,
on a repast of lightly saut�ed frogs legs
seasoned in a white wine
and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled to herself and thought:
I don't fucking think so.
12:58AM
So, my FAFSA is due Friday and I haven't gotten the damn information yet. This stupid taxman is pissing me off. I hate men, I hate love, I hate having to like someone. My favorite saying in addressing love: if it was easy, we wouldn't want it. I hate love, I hate men, I hate....ok, I'm starting to repeat myself. Mark didn't go into the fountain, damn.
2/27/01
11:19AM
HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY MARK!!!
10:01AM
Running a tight schedule again today. Damn
12:52AM
Today is a tiring day. He's frustrating me again. Everyone tells me that he enjoys the attention and that's why he keeps coming back to talk to me. I don't understand. It's starting to make me upset.
2/26/01
10:26PM
So I got new stuff to show everyone on zing.com. Hollywood Ball and Hanging in Mel's room Check them out and comment!! The rest of the day was ok, Garret and I went to the mall and got the BEST present for Mark's 21st b-day.
1:37PM
So, got 3 hours of sleep last night, but I finished my paper. Excitement across the board. Today is a paper day, but I have my 3 hour class today in an hour, and I haven't read yet. I'm screwed. On the intriguing side, somebody sent me a crush gram. Maly, if it's you I'm going to kick your ass sooo hard. I don't htink the emotional turmoil of considering who sent me this stupid crush gram....DO YOU UNDERSTAND!!! On the plus side, my sister's b-day was great. We ate at this awesome French restuarant in Old Town. Yummy Yummy, I had the confit of duck with mushroom ravioli as a appetizer. Sadly, I missed out on the ice cream cake at my uncle's house, which was my favorite Baskin Robbins flavor Love Poition #31!!! DAMN!! I LOVE that stuff!
2/25/01
5:01PM
Well today is a dreary day in Chino...my sister Loreen is 16 today. Wow, I feel old now. Spending the day with my family and then trying to do a five page paper is going to prove challenging. Oh well, at least I got to observe children at Chuck E. Cheese. The place was packed full of kids!! I guess the rain does bring out kids, just not to the neighborhood playgrounds or anything. It's amazing the things you notice when you just watch children and adults interact with each other. You'd think that Chuck E. Cheese would just be the place "where a kid can be a Kid", but I found out not. More to come when I finish my paper.
2:09AM
Well, I have just proved to about everyone what a sore loser I am...especially to Garrett. Sorry Garrett, didn't mean to come out as such as pain in the ass. This is why I never play chess with anyone...especially friends. Got to try a new alcoholic beverage today...very nice. So, didn't get any work done today...am very proud of myself. I try so hard to not do anything at all. Oh well, I also have to do my fafsa too. GREAT!!
2/24/01
8:34PM
Ok, worked, have paper due monday, must observe children and write paper about them...Aauggh!! Nani told me that I have to give up hope...I hate giving up...giving up sucks...Jen insists that it was him...but I'm not sure anymore.
12:33PM
Had a surprise last night. Thought Ryan dropped by (that's what Jen said at least), but then he said he didn't....so who visited me???? I am curious as a cat. Danny gave me this awesome massage!!! My neck is hurting something awful....but it felt soooo good. RA group process was today. Very interesting....we made a tower with tinkertoys and then got to pretend we were part of the RA committee and decide who's on the committee. It was really enlightening, having to think about what you would look for in a RA, and especially what issues that the individual would bring into the mix. Have to go to work tonight...have a lot of homework to do.
2/23/01
11:45PM
Work was ok, but almost fell asleep in my bio anthro class. The unfortunate thing is that I did NOTHING tonight. I think mel is avoiding me...she disappeared plus she didn't want to swim with us. Maybe I should start an acknowledgements page like Ryan did for his essay. He asked me how to spell my name, and the sad thing is, that I was that out of it I had to think about it!!
2:50PM
Finished my paper this morning at 11:00 AM. I am very proud of myself. It's probably a piece of junk, but I'm ok with that. Didn't go swimming today, Mel said it was too cold and Garrett left his swim trunks at home in WASHINGTON!!! Just like a man. Stupid. Have to go to work today then I have a bunch of stuff to do
2/22/01
11:47PM
So, 1 1/2 pages down, 2 1/2 pages to go. Had two pieces of pizza, Garrett had five. Am very tired now....going to go to sleep. Maybe go swimming tomorrow. Need to finish paper....must finish paper....beginning to panic.
9:22AM
Why do I like to stay up until 3AM and hang with Mel and Mark? Because then I don't get enough sleep!! Am I a masochist or what? On top of that, I have a paper due tomorrow that I haven't even started yet. Has everyone visited my albums yet? They're really awesome, at least I think so. So today I'm devoting to my paper....great.
2/21/01
9:38PM
Christal has mastered the art of photo albums!! Check out my Friends and my Family.
10:05AM
Good morning, slept in 'til 9:30. That was nice. Watched my two staples last night (buffy and Dark Angel)with Kate at her place on her awesome tv. Got my ass kicked by Professor Chin's Afro-Haitian teacher. He is supposedly 80 years old or something. Show up late to hall spread, and couldn't keep an attention span of a two year old. Didn't see Garrett that day at all. Weird.
2/20/01
10:07AM
Wow, slept like a log last night, and missed the work out with Garrett. Felt sooo good after taking a bath in Mel's tub. So, hell week has set in. One paper due Friday, another on Monday. And no, I don't have enough time to do anything right now. Ok, so I finally remembered this dream that I had last night. First off, my mom, my sister and I were hunting for snakes. Trying to kill them. I get bit like two or three times....I guess we weren't good. Then wake up, Jen goes to work, fall back asleep. In this dream I have a boyfriend who works with me.....He's a hottie (and no it's not you). He likes to cuddle (how sweet). And he tells me that he likes having a sex object....ok whatever.
2/19/01
10:51PM
So I met Kate's new boy toy today....interesting. I guess I approve, though I was expecting something different. Then come back and get teased about Kate's and my preference for older men. That really sucks. Ok, teasing can definitely get out of hand. I don't appreciate it when she teases me in front of her boyfriend. Especially when it concerns something like my feelings. How would you feel when someone makes you feel inferior because you're not dating someone your own age whom you went to high school with? It really bothers me. She says that I'm just grumpy but I'm not, but she sure did help me get that way.
Oh, and sorry Ryan, you don't have to take me to dinner....I was just kidding, and in the mood to tear, beat and shred something into a pulp....you should see what I did to Garrett.....it wasn't pretty
2:15PM
"Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and
it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until
they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with." From Mailbits.com Joke of the Day
1:21PM
Clarity has come...and I wish for clouds...
Why do I have to open my big mouth up and say something? In a lot of ways I wish I could just keep my mother shut...because dreams and wishes are so much better than reality. The vibes are ok, I understand, and I'm not upset. Let's just say that clarity has come, and even though it hurts, I'm not planning to cut small things into little pieces....hehehe.... I prefer honesty in all things, and friendship even more, and I hope that we're still friends.
2/18/01
11:25PM
So, today was quite eventful. First off, I spent last night on the couch in Garrett's room. Stupid man kept me awake until 4:30 in the morning. Thanks a lot Garrett, really appreciate it. Then, at 11:00 in the morning, Mark, Mel, Garrett and I started out to Tom's Farms in Corona. It was fun, except for the fact that it was cloudy and a little sprinkly. Then we decided to see the country's biggest reservoir (it's supposed to take six years to fill.) We didn't get backuntil after five (and the dam was closed to visitors). Saw my mom, and met Mark's parents. The Lakers lost today to the Pacers. Very sad and upsetting. Then, came back and went out with Ryan and a bunch of his friends for Italian, but ended up at Mexican instead. I am getting confused again. I'm taking him to Cal Tech tomorrow, and he owes me lunch for it. Kate and I are heading out to Boomerock tomorrow, and it's gonna be good food. I don't know what's going on anymore.....Both Garrett and Erin wanted to know what I liked about him. I think that he's intelligent, I like how he talks, how he thinks, his sense of humor, how there is more to him than there seems. Mel has added that I only want him because I can't have him, and when I do get him, won't I won't want him anymore. She also said that he doesn't know what he wants either. I know what I want, and I'm scared of being hurt....again.
2/17/01
11:51PM
Watched Silence of the Lambs again tonight. Costco was great! I got 12 packages of Kraft macaroni and cheese and some shampoo. Garrett and Mark both got Lava Lamps (two for each of them). I wanted to get a couple too, but no room in my room. Love him or leave him....what's a girl to do? speaking of what girls in need should do Mel, finding another friend is definitely the thing to do. I hear you sister!! What does one do when the person who makes your world is the one who wrecks it up? Time to find a new person for your world. (Thanks YOu Guys!!) Makes me think of Hector, my problem child who was the one person who I could confide in, yet he was the one who was frustrating me the most. Leaving him was the hardest thing I have ever done. But knowing that he was making me cry, when he was supposed to stop the tears made me realize that I had to leave. Remembering those times of perfection hurts me in the gut, the heart, the soul. It's those memories that make me question my decision...my feelings. I'm sure this insight into the mind of a woman who's left the one she loved once will be very enlightening to a certain someone. Trust me, it broke my heart to leave him. I might not love him anymore, but the memories still bring those feelings alive, and I wish for those feelings again. That's why you never give up on love...even after the burn.
1:03PM
Going to Costco. Garrett has just enlightened me. The reason that I want the guy is because I can't have him. It makes sense, we all want what we can't have. I also added in that I always want those guys who won't treat me good, or have problems. I hate finding wounded men!!
12:53AM
Yes, I know I shouldn't go gah gah over him....but I can't help it. He's so cute. Silence of the Lambs was awesome and I'm definitely ready to so Hannibal. Yes, I am on an italics kick. Yes, and I've also discovered a new love, Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia Low Fat Yougurt. Work wasn't that great, but I did get some new jewelry...yes, I know....bad christal. I can't help it, they're crying out to me for them to buy buy buy buy..... Mel sent me this great email which she created into this beautiful piece of internet art. Check out the rocks
2/16/01
2:15PM
Have to work tonite, but I did get to talk to him today. Though I'm not sure what I would do for Championship Game 7 Laker tickets......
10:08AM
So dawns a bright new Friday. Going to go swimming, which I haven't done in two years, with Garrett and Melissa. Should prove to be interesting. Oh, and that whole man thing, it's impossible. I don't know what to think or do, except that right now I'm not getting over him. I just can't. I need to meet someone new.
2/15/01
3:09PM
Definitely gonna get over him. I've decided that this is it..seriously, new info has come up and I think it's best that I give up. I think I still like him, but no more chasing or agonizing.
11:24AM
So last night Ben and Jerry didn't come over, but I did get two pints of Dreyers DreameryIce Cream. Their stuff is sooooo good!! My favorite flavor is Black Raspberry Avalanche, but all over their flavors are awesome!! Too bad he wasn't there to share... That's ok, Mel and Garrett (the human garbage disposal and ultimate man) were there.
2/14/01
4:59PM
Well, the exam went ok I guess....So far today I have consumed 4 pieces of See's candy and now I'm onto the Cheetos. Apparently Chocolate has the same chemical affect on the body as sex does, so I suppose I should be having an orgasm by now....not happening. I suppose the real thing must be better...hehehe. Got a parking ticket today from stupid campus safety...bastards...grr. I hate them...they've been really cracking down on students lately.
3:00PM
Well, Happy Valentine's Day to everyone who has someone who loves them. In that case, I'm sure everyone has someone who loves them, whether family or friends. I think it's important to remember that there are people who love you, and just because Hallmark created this holiday for couples should we forget that we have people who care for us...like Jen and Kate. I get to eat See's candy!! Tonite I believe it's going to be movies and my two favorite guys Ben and Jerry. Have a test in 30 minutes, but I think stressing got to be too much for me. I read, I went to class and I studied. Can't do much more than that!!
2/13/01
11:21PM
There Jen, I removed the picture from my front page. Just got back from the Lip Sync contest at Erdman. Melissa, Dawningstar, Madeleine and I got to lip sync to "No Scubs" by TLC. It was great, I pulled Ryan up and danced around him, then shoved him off for the scrub he is...hehehe.
Melis suggested that we lip sync to "Crazy for You" by Madonna. She thought it was quite appropriate for me. I wonder why....
5:45PM
Heading out to Afro-Haitian dancing tonight for the bi-weekly butt-kicking. Computer was broken...lost the M on my keyboard, but now it is fixed and all is well. Hope I can type when I get back...
11:28AM
Just got back from working out with Garrett, and not the waterbed races...hehehe...Actually we went to the weight room. It was great!! Poor Garrett is not a morning person!! Day before Valentine's Day, but I have to admit, thanks to Feminist Anthropology taught by Professor Tobin I have come to learn that love is socially constructed to ensure monogamy so that men can be certain who their offspring are in order to pass on their possessions. So in reality, there is no such thing as love. From a biological perspective, if the only point of sex is for reproduction, then why do we use contraception? I'm sure all those college students out there aren't having sex in order to reproduce... My favorite show Buffy the Vampire Slayer is on at 8:00 PM tonight. Special Valentine's Day episode featuring Spike and Buffy and love??? Don't forget my other fav tonight
Dark Angel with Logan Gale , the hottie nerd who helps Max out. I love smart men!!
2/12/01
6:50PM
Talked to my friend Leakana today. She graduated from Oxy last year. Garrett and I are supposed to start working out tomorrow morning. Mel, don't freak out about V-Day, it's not that bad, who needs men anyway? Gotta lot of work to do....
2/11/01
3:17AM
The dance was awesome!!! Actually, getting dressed up was more fun than the actual dance. Mel looked sooo pretty!!! Everyone else did too! Maly made her own dress, starting 4 PM the afternoon before the dance!! I wish I could sew, it's a good skill to have. Garrett wore his xmas shirt that I got for him and he matched my dress. Nani's hair looked shellacked, but beautiful
8:43PM
In a bad mood now...cooler was closed, want ice cream and soda...now feeling like thai food. Don't like anyone...why do I bother? Feeling lost, with loss. Why doesn't he like me? Why didn't I love Hector? Feeling that loss right now. What's the point of all this anyway?
2/10/01
1:08 AM
Good morning everyone. Hope everyone is ready for an awesome night at our "Hollywood Ball", if not, at least all us girls have the fun of getting dressed up. Spent the evening talking to Garrett, Nani, Ryan, Erin, and Melis.....I'm excited, I get to put makeup on, a dress and maybe a necklace
12:21 PM
Saturday, the day of rest in the mind of the college student (Sundays are reserved for last minute cramming). Good luck to the econ majors who have comps today (Mark). The run down of my day: run (ok drive) to Target, the bank, work and then the dance. It's the all day marathon!!
8:10 PM
After not being able to finish my food in the cooler, my friend Garrett (the soon-to-be "ultimate man") showed me where to go online to help feed the hungry with just a click of a button.
5:10 PM
So, entire lower body is in extreme pain, it hurts to sit! Thank you Professor Chin, for insuring that all of us in Afro-Haitian Dance have sore bodies!! That's ok, I'm going to be ok because it's FRIDAY!!! And i"m not going to do a thing!!
2/9/01
Today is the first official day of the construction of my website, so far, it has been ok, but I hope to get more color soon....