Random Stuff

-| A Blonde Goes Horseback Riding |-

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune.....

Bill, the WalMart greater, sees her and unplugs the horse.

-| Buying a TV |-

A Blonde walks into an electrical shop and asks the assistant if she can buy a t.v. The shop assistant tells her that she can't because she's blonde. The blonde walks out of the shop, dyes her hair red and goes back. She finds a different assisitant and asks him if she can buy that t.v. The shop assistant tells her no, because your a blonde. The Blonde walks out and dyes her black and goes back and asks the assistant if she can have the t.v. When she is told she can't because she is blonde, she asks "what that has to do with it????" The shop assistant answers, "This is not a t.v, it's a microwave"

-| Following Tracks |-

A blonde, a bunette, and a red-head went on a camping trip together.nbsp; They finally arrived at the camping site when they realized that they had left their food at home.nbsp; They decided that instead of wasting there whole trip they would each go out and catch their own food. So the brunette leaves the camp site and returns in a half an hour with a fox.The red-head then asks "how did you catch the fox?" The brunette replies "me see tracks,me follow tracks, boom! me catch fox" Next the red-head leaves and comes back in an hour with a bear The blonde asks "how did you catch that?" The red-head replies "me see tracks, me follow tracks, boom!, me catch bear" So the blonde goes out next. Within two hours she comes back all blooding and briused. They others ask her what happened. The blonde replies "me see tracks, me follow tracks, boom!, me get hit by train."

-| Three Blonde Guys |-

Three blonde guys were stranded on one side of a wide river and didn't know how to get across. The first blonde guy prayed to God to make him smart enough to think of a way to cross the river. God turned him into a brown-haired man, and he swam across. The second blonde guy prayed to God to make him even smarter, so he could think of a better way to cross the river. God turned him into a red-haired man, so he built a boat and rowed across. The third blonde guy prayed to God to make him the smartest of all, so God turned him into a woman...and he walked across the bridge.

-| Watch Out For That Tree |-

This police officer was cruisin' down the street. He was just driving along, when he sees this sports car swerving madly, back and forth, back and forth. So he turns on his lights and siren and the car pulls over and he approaches it. The officer notices that the driver is a beautiful blonde. So he comes to the side of the car and says, "Whats the problem miss?". The women replies. " Oh thank god you saved my life.....I can't thank you." The police man is puzzled, so he answers, " Well miss what did I do, whats wrong?" She replies, "Well i was drivin' down the road, and I saw this tree so I swerved to the left, and then I looked up and saw this other tree, so I swerved to the right. The trees kept comin' and comin'. I had to swerve or I was goin to crash." The policeman replies, "Maam, thats your air freshener."

-| Blonde Puzzle |-

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me... I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He held her hand softly, led her to a chair and said, "Secondly, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, and then...." He sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."