Sean Gilmore

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Your real name. No aliases: we'll figure it out sooner or later and you'll be less one job immediately.
	gives San an appraising look I suppose you wouldn�t believe me if I told you my name was Maria Magdalena Mariposa, then? grins easily and extends a hand Sean Gilmore, sir. A finer worker you�ll never have�unless you count him, of course. points at his twin brother, Brendan, and lowers his voice Most people don�t, you know. He was just one of those freak accidents in genetics. We don�t like to talk to about it.
So, is that just between you and me, or do you have somethin' else you'd rather we call ya?
	tilts his head, considering the question Would it be too much to ask that everyone calls me Muffin? grins at San�s expression I�ll take that as a resounding �yes.� In that case, Sean will do just fine.
How old are ya?
	Would you believe I�m 63? looks disappointed No? Eh, it was worth a shot. I�m 20. grins at San, plainly amused with himself Honest.
Say I die tonight an' there are new guys at the door tomorrow when ya come in for work. How do they know it's you? What do you look like?
	appears to be mildly horrified for his new best friend But�I don�t want you to die! Do you suppose they�d take me instead? without waiting for an answer Oh, too bad. Well, I guess you�re on your own, old boy. Die with honor. grins cheerfully and claps San on the shoulder I�m kind of on the short side of things, really. 5�9�. is actually only 5�8 ��, but likes to claim he�s taller The only thing Brendan has on me is height. glances at his twin mournfully Of course, I�m much more handsome, intelligent, charming, and witty when it comes right down to it. is, as stated, a fair amount shorter than Brendan, with lightly tanned skin, spiky, golden brown hair, brown eyes, and a disarming smile is also more stocky than his brother, because, although the two are equally strong, Brendan is taller and can distribute that strength more evenly than his twin
Right. What's your background like? And got any education -- can ya read an' write?
	blinks Well, yeah. decides to elaborate on the other part of the question It�s funny you should ask about our upbringing. I was just telling Brendan that all that manual labor we were forced to endure as children, slaving away at the mercy of the foreman reconstructing our Aunt Hilda�s aquatic empire really did have all the benefits she always claimed it did! flexes to prove his point She was a convicted felon, you know. Butchered our parents in front of a whole passel of witnesses. Nasty business; I can�t believe we got stuck living with the old goat. It was a travesty on the part of the American legal profession. Naturally, we didn�t want to spend every waking moment carrying burdens larger than ourselves, being chained together to discourage runaways, but we made the most of it. pffts Who needs a warm bed and food in your stomach when you can eat dirt or bugs and sleep under a snow drift with a rock for a pillow?
Describe yourself, your personality.
	Oh, sure, no problem. smirks some I�m the hardest working, most dependable person you�ll ever employ. except for everyone else, that is I�m intensely loyal and always honest. I have impeccable manners, and I keep myself well-groomed. is loyal, and does* keep himself well-groomed* is lazy and doesn�t enjoy work, can be counted on to avoid the truth whenever possible, and is generally not considered a model employee however, is friendly and fun, and will do his job when he needs to will never miss a day of work, and is always prompt and punctual
Criminal record, prior arrests or convictions to speak of?
	Of course not. hedges Well, unless you count the 6 years I spent in Sing Sing for hacking Patrick�s limbs off his dismembered body. grins pleasantly Patrick was our other brother. We were triplets. But it had to be done. The world simply could not sustain three Gilmore boys. Two of us being the most stunning, knowledgeable, suave and debonair individuals on the planet is much easier for the population at large to grasp. Three was just one too many. And since Patrick was the only one of us Aunt Hilda despised, he had to go. waves a hand airily You understand.
Got any family around, or friends?
	There�s Brendan, of course. Patrick�s long since deceased. He�s with our parents in Heaven, surrounded by a chorus of cherubim bearing remarkable similarities to President Roosevelt�s rotund little person. Aunt Hilda is still dictating her aquatic empire � which is, naturally, concealed in an undisclosed location.
What're your skills, an' what kind of job do you want?
	launches into a lengthy discourse on the intricacies of churning butter And, so you see, Mr. Santonero, the only reason we�re all still alive and able to remain on the Earth�s surface, instead of shooting off into space at unheard of speeds, is because of the heavy rotation of the butter churn. shrugs some It�s simple physics. And Brendan and I are both applying for the enforcement position. flexes again, just slightly Butter churning has other advantages as well.
Anything else?
	grins No, not really. Thanks for listening, man. I really needed to get that off my chest. stands up, extending his hand once more It was nice meeting you.