65a

2009

PAD's Hogwarts Shuts Down
Magnus Crane
Seems there is one Muggle television show the Headmistress at Hogwarts is a fan of, The Apprentice. In her effort to emulate Donald Trump, she decided to fire her entire staff. Taking this one step further, she banned everyone on the site. So for a couple hours no one could log-in! It wasn't until she found out that she had also banned her self did she have second thoughts, that and the fact that the huge castle was empty save for a few ghosts, she changed her mind. Having been known for her sense of humor, in the past, she passed this off as a mistake she made while working in the 'ban setting' area of the control panel. This seemed to appease most, but those who know her well, knew she had let her power go to her head. After a lot of chocolate, M&M specifically, she has returned to her 'ole' self and now realizes it takes a community to run things around here even if she has the final say on everything.

Hogwarts Closes It Doors for Good!
By Chris Candor
MOM Announces the Hogwarts shall be closing its doors on March 31st for good. It seems that due to the high complaints by many parents of the students currently attending, along with lack of proper funding by the alumni of the once proud school, Hogwarts shall officially be closing its doors forever.

The Minster explained �It is a sad day for I myself remember attending Hogwarts as a lad. But due to the recent drop in economy both in the Muggle and Wizarding world many of the private funding that kept the school running has unfortunately run dry. On top of this many parents have come to me with strong complaints that Hogwarts is no longer safe location for their children. There fore we at the Ministry of Magic have decided with great regret to close Hogwarts for good.�

When asked about the students currently attending the school the Minister sadly informed this reporter that all students shall be relocated to magical education establishments closer to their countries of birth, while students with monster backgrounds like vampires and even half vampires, shall be placed in a relocation program or placed in Azkaban for the safety of the Wizarding World.

Though many people have tried to rise funding to keep the school open, it seems that nothing can be done to stop this horrible turn of events. So it is with a heavy heart that this reporter along with many of the students and staff of Hogwarts must pack his bags and return home, leaving behind what was a glorious home away from home.

Class Registration Closes
Professor Ripley
No, classes aren�t closed yet, by you have a bit of time to finish up what you started, however, and registering for more classes is now closed. Merlin knows this will help the rush to take classes and turn-in loads of lessons at the last minute! "If I was a student," said an un-named professor, "I'd take this opportunity to get lessons done now instead of waiting until the last minuet. I mean so many Muggle schools will also be getting ready for summer term a thus loads of exams will have to be taken so between Hogwarts and RL schools, I'd finish my Hogwarts ones now."
For the newer students, this does not mean Hogwarts closes for the summer, just the classes. Not only does this gives the professors a break, as new classrooms will be built, lessons revised and other changes to make next term one or our best. This also allows some really great summer actives to take place without having to think about going to classes too. Although, rumor has it, that the Summer Potions RPGs might take place, a usually summer activity, there might be other school sponsored things. That and of course the 'Summer Club' which was run expertly by Professor Ripley, if I say so myself, last summer, will take place again this summer. Then there is possibly some super exciting changes coming which were hinted at on the BB and if you read another article around here somewhere, the Broomstick Races are returning. And that is not the ONLY things that will be taking place this summer. So, keep these things in mind and make sure to check for announcements for upcoming events!

Broomstick Racing to Return to Hogwarts!
Professor Ripley
It has been almost two years since Hogwarts had Broomstick Racing and it is time to bring it back! If you have not raced or seen a race, you certainly missed something exciting! Ask your older house mates, they will tell you all about this great sport! The race rules have changed from year to year, like Quidditch, for improvements and this year, wands will still be allowed but only using the Official Broomstick Racing Spells. Laps are flown and each race will have a different route, with dangers at a few areas, all in fun of course. In the past racers had to duck Centaur�s arrows, fight off grindlylows, deal with angry pixies, and even the Whomping Willow will get in the way! So give this some thought, you love flying, fast, and would like to be a racer, stayed tuned for announcements regarding Broomstick Racing. Meanwhile, I am digging out the rules and making my self familiar with them and I will be looking for two very serious students to give me hand, this will be announced too. This is going to be a summer activity and I hope to conduct three races, one a month. I hope this gets your excitement level up because let me tell you, a good Broomstick Race is fun for the racers, but just as much fun to watch! And this summer, besides the trophy, for the best racer, points will be added�a little incentive. Broomstick Racing is an invention solely created here at PAD's Hogwarts and is covered under the copyright laws.

Should Professor Give Class Help?
By: Envy Midlight
We can all agree that the Professors can be pretty wicked in class if they don�t like us, right? With OWLS coming up, people are doing last minute cramming. Rumor has made its way around the school that the professors are cracking down, and truly want us to pass. Including our dear Prof. Snape and Prof. Riddle! Maybe a little after-class study group one-on-one with our teachers should perhaps enhance our minds? Only time will tell. Let�s hope for the best, as our dreaded OWLS come to face us. Who knows? Maybe all our professors need is us to ask them for help or for some tougher stuff. So get out there, and go ask!

IS WHAT YOU�RE DOING GETTING YOU WHAT YOU WANT?
(A brief review of wizarding job opportunities once you leave Hogwarts)
~Lexine Liatos
Have you thought about your future yet? Yes? No? Or is it too scary to even think about leaving Hogwarts yet? No matter how you answered the aforementioned question, this brief review of some of the wizarding job opportunities that are out there is sure to help you in your quest for an career after Hogwarts.
� Arithmancer: This involves complicated number charts and is an accepted way of predicting the future. Here, there is a belief that number patterns exists in real life and can be calculated to give information of/about the future.
� Auror: A member of an elite unit of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, these witches and wizards are trained to capture those who practice the dark arts. Be warned, the training is difficult and extensive
� Broom Maker: Obviously, a witch or wizard who makes broomsticks
� Curse Breaker: Working at Gringotts, there is a requirement O.W.L. in Arithmancy and the job is almost synonymous with the name. Curse Breakers often take their jobs in Egypt.
� Dragon Feeder/Keeper: Have fun taking care of these elegant beasts, feeding and caring for them while avoiding their flames and try to avoid being stepped on. If you have a passion for dragons and danger, this is a job for you.
� Healer: The equivalent of the Muggle word Doctor, these witches and wizards take care of people who are sick. Healers specialize with different problems such as animal wounds and potion burns. You have to receive at least an E at N.E.W.T., Potions, Transfiguration, Herbology, Charms and, Defense Against the Dark Arts.
� Herbologist: Specializing in the field of Herbology, these witches/wizards known a lot about plants and probably have a green thumb.
� Magical Law Enforcement Squad: A team of witches and wizards specialized in general law enforcement. These people usually deal with minor crimes against Muggles and the Statute of Security.
� Magizoologist (aka: Wizarding naturalist): These witches and wizards study (and can care for) magical creatures
� Medi-wizard / Medi-witch: Like Healers, Medi-wizards/Medi-witches are the equilivent to the Muggle word Medic. These witches and wizards are field doctors and are often seen on Quidditch fields to care for injured players.
� Muggle Relations: Dealing with anything in the Muggle world, these witches and wizards both protect the Muggles from wizards and the wizards from Muggles.
� Musician: Like the Muggle-world musician, these are witches and wizards who create songs for a general entertainment of the wizarding world.
� Obliviator: An employee to the Ministry of Magic, they keep the wizarding world hidden from the non-wizarding folk. The often have to perform Memory Charms on any Muggle who happens to see something they shouldn�t.

� Professor: Of course, if you can�t bear to leave Hogwarts, you can always become a Professor and teach at this great school. Or if you have an affinity to teaching kid�s spells and charms and potions, this is an excellent job for you.
� Quidditch: If you�re good enough to be on a team then you can get signed to a position on any of the pro-Quidditch teams. Other positions include an announcer and a referee.
� Wandmaker: Like our old friend Ollivander witches and wizards make wands for the use of others.
Hopefully, this was able to provide you with some insight on the possible careers you young witches and wizards can follow once you leave the school. There are more than just these on the list and obviously they involve more work than a few lines on this brief summary, but maybe this gave a few of you an idea of where you might want to go with your life.

FAN ETIQUETTE: A GUIDE FOR FIRST YEARS
By Lexine Liatos
Quidditch is a popular and world-wide sport in which not a single witch or wizard does not know something about it. It is a game of thrilling excitement. When attending school events it is important to follow three simple rules to keep the game safer for both the players and the observers.

Firstly, it is important that in your excitement, you do not accidently set off a spell from your wand. It is understandable that as fans of your house�s team, you are screaming and cheering, but please do not set off any spells that can distract or injure the players or those around you. The game is one meant to be enjoyed by all without distractions from a wayward spell.

Secondly, do not interfere with the players. While this rule seems to mirror the first, there are variations to be noted. Do not reach out and grab the players if they happen to be near you and please refrain from grabbing at the other team, no matter what the score. Also be sure to avoid players, especially the seeker, if they are flying directly towards you. They are sure to be following the Snitch and may run into you.

Thirdly (as requested by a teacher who will not be named), please refrain from setting teachers in the audience aflame. They do not appreciate it and this may interfere with the watching experience and you may end up in detention. Thank you.

When You've Been Here Awhile
The Slytherin House
This 'game' thread was started for placing in the OG, its a long running game and some have been published all ready, here's more! The following is answers to: You know you've been at PAD's too long when.....
...when you try to stay 'in character' but find that you and 'they' are pretty much the same and found others in the house saying the same things.
...when you develop inside jokes with your PAD's friends.
...when you can't wait to share good news with your house mates over any real friends you have.
...when you start imagining how your housemates would react to a certain situation.
...when you explain the situation to them, and they react exactly the way you thought they would.
...when you worry how everyone here is doing when you can't get on for a day or so.
...when you are genuinely upset when people leave your house.
...when you want to hold on tight to those who are still here.
...when you quietly help pick up the pieces left behind.
...when you are excited about the Mad Hatter Tea Party and try and explain to your friends what a 'post war' is and they go..."huh?"
... when you have random Conversation involving a Smilie called Curtis Eating Unidentified Food Items
...when you add the smilie Cathy to the conversation regarding said eating unidentified food items.
...when all of this somehow MAKES SENSE.
...when it's the first thing you check in the morning.
... when you Debate to yourself whether Eltanin should be The Spam King or The King Of Spam
...when every time you wear green you think "I'm so Slytherin
...when you miss a few days and can't wait to get back.
...when you miss someone loads while they are gone!
...when you know your housemates understand that with your medical condition, sometimes you have to be away for a few days.
...when you can have peace of mind that indeed everybody understands!
...when you can't wait to see what so-and-so said in a game thread after your post.
...when your inside jokes deals with things that happen in the Slytherin common room and you find your self laugh while at Muggle school and well, they just don't get it.
...when you know the rankings of all six houses with regards to the Quidditch Cup, but you honestly have no idea what the standings are of your school's softball, lacrosse, or field hockey teams are, or indeed if their seasons have even begun/ended yet. *is guilty of this*
...when you worry all day about a house mate going Greek and wondering how they'er doing.
...when the advice and concern from your H.O.H. and housemates has a bigger bearing on your outside life than the advice/concern of your RL friends.
...when you crawl back into your room at midnight after a long day and want nothing more than to go to bed, but instead you decide to log onto the Internet and update your friends on said day--and you bypass both LiveJournal and Twitter to tell your PAD's friends.
...when the only reason you're becoming more comfortable giving (and receiving) hugs from your RL friends is because you exchange them so often with your PAD's friends.

Wheelchair Races in the Dungeon
RWA
In the spirit of making one Slytherin feel 'sporty' extra wheelchairs were brought into the Slytherin common room. Why? So the snake gang can race down the dungeon corridor, of course! With the width of the hall being as it is, only three chairs could race at a time, so there was an elimination process until the final three raced. First up were Gabby, Phinn, and Sapphire with Gabby winning that round. Next up was Renny (the ringer), Areyna, and Sam; Renny won this heat with ease. Next group was Jess, Arien, and Nic, it was close, but Arien beat the other two by a nose! Next came Beonca, Viktor, and Allegra with Viktor taking this heat. Then came Vanessa, Eltanin, and Rayne, this one was so close, it had to be run again and this time Vanessa won. Finally the last heat was Gred, Orianna, and Jezzabell and Gred had this one easy. So the next level of race pitted Gred, Gabby, and Renny with Renny winning. And then Arien Viktor and Vannessa racing with Vannie taking the win. The final race was now between Renny and Vannie...and it was close, surprisingly, but the winner was Renny Addams!

An Interview with Sir Cadogan
By Lana Laramie
Most everyone knows the portrait of Sir Cadogan, the little knight who occupies the 7th floor corridor. He challenges everyone who passes and is always annoying. But what lays underneath his irratating exterior? I decided to brave through this exterior to find out.
Lana Laramie (LL) enters the 7th floor corridor and looks around catiously. She sees Sir Cadogan (SC) in his portrait, petting his little pony and takes a deep breath.
LL: Um...Sir?
Sir Cadogan fliches and turns aroud to face Lana, sword drawn.
SC: Who goes there?
LL: Uh, I'm Lana Laramie. I came to interview you for the school paper. Is that alright?
SC: Hmm...I suppose it can be allowed. Proceed, young maiden. (He replaces his sword to his belt and bows)
Lana clears her throat and looks down at her notebook, taps her pencil on the paper and looks up at the painting.
LL: Ok, so how long have you been hanging in Hogwarts?
Sir Cadogan stands as strait up as he can and puffs out his chest when Lana finishes her question, obviously proud of the answer he's about to give.
SC: Since the beginning of the school, my dear girl! Well, I suppose close to the beginning. I was placed in this establishment when the founders were in their old age.
LL: (nods, then goes to the next question on her paper) So, you've spent quite some time here. Have you been moved around a lot?
SC: Of course, fair maiden! Every painting gets moved around, especially with a new headmaster or mistress who likes to redecorate comes to power. But mostly I've been moved for security purposes. I recall, one time, Sirius Black infiltrated the Gryffindor common room! I was the only one manly enough to take the job while the Fat Lady collected her wits. And, a few years later, I was taken down for most of the year, every other painting as well! Mmm...they caught me off guard, that's all. I would've beaten them to a pulp if I had been awake at the time!
LL: (Lana rushes to write down him answer and flexes her fingers before continuing) Interesting...But do you prefer being on this floor?
SC: Seven is me lucky number young lady! Ruffians on this floor never see me coming! (Sir Cadagon brings out his sword and pretends he is attacking a 'ruffian') Haha! But I remember I was in the Great Hall for a while, but I was quickly moved back here. Kids these days - they just can't handle challenges.
LL:Uh...Ok. Well, do you like to visit other portraits?
SC: Not if I can help it. These paintings; they just don't know how to treat a knight. I prefer to protect my corridor from delinquents, so ney.
LL: (She writes down the word 'ney' and smiles.) Well, um, thank you Sir. It was a pleasure.
SC: (He sniffs then starts stroking his pony's mane) Yes, you're quite welcome Miss. See to it to warn your young friends to watch out for Sir Cadagon! He always knows when the children are misbehaving!
Sir Cadagon waves his sword around and poses as Lana watches while trying to hold back giggles.
LL: Well do Sir! Thank you for the interview!
She leaves the corridor while the knight says something about: "Aha! Gotcha!"
I guess there really isn't anything else to the painting named Sir Cadagon. Oh well.

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