((The camera zooms around from the pyros going off at the enterance ramp to where the announcers sit…but instead of seeing the normal two announcers, Moe Peterson and uhhhh…the other guy…Plague and Angel sit at the table. Plague smokes a cigarette and his heels kicked up, a bottle of bud rests in his hand. Angel sits, looking incredibly bored, contemplating suicide via the cord to the headset.))

Plague: Yea…welcome to Throwdown. Woooo…

Angel: You could be a little bit more enthusiastic then that…

Plague: I think you covered the show’s enthusiasm with the first sentence.

Angel: Yea…ok your right. I’m done.

Plague: Now, normally…right now we would give you a run down of the card. But that is just too much like ASW. So we’re going to play it by ear instead.

((Plague takes another drag on a cigarette and a swig of beer. Angel stares blankly at Plague…))

Plague: What?

Angel: Are you even allowed to do that stuff on the air?

Plague: Turns out that I don’t care…

Angel: Well…without further ado…lets get to our first match up…

Plague: And what he really means is that we are by far too lazy to actually entertain anyone with any funny segments…

Ring announcer: The Following Contest is scheduled for one fall, and the loser is downgraded to ASW!

((The crowd erupts into cheers…))

Ring announcer: Introducing first…from Ancient Sumeria, The Dark Lord!

((The Man in the Box hits the PA as Lemay starts to strut down to the ring, his arms dangling down by his side. The crowd boos and throws a variety of things, including a portable radio and a frozen burrito. He scoops up the burrito and takes a huge bite as if he hasn’t eaten anything but ovaries in weeks. The radio bounces off his head harmlessly.))

Ring Announcer: His opponent…from Brooklyn New York. T.N.T!!!

PA system: T…N…T!!!

((The crowd erupts into cheers as TNT steps out onto the enterance ramp. He waves to the crowd and then sprints down to the ring and slides in.))

((The bell goes off and the two instantly square off throwing punches and kicks trying to get the upper hand. Lemay gets two hands around his throat, and lifts him off the ground. TNT swings wildly and smashes a hard kick into his groin causing Lemay to double over. TNT drops down and smashes Lemay hard with a DDT. The crowd goes wild. ))

Plague: Boring…

Angel: We’re getting paid to do this…

Plague: Maybe, but its not worth the extra $4.50…

((TNT bounces off the ropes and drops a leg drop over Lemay’s throat. He holds for the pin…))

1..2..

((Kick out by Lemay…))

Plague: Normally I would make some quip about how that really shouldn’t have been a two count or something. That’s when I remembered that it is Brian Lemay.

Angel: You’ve never spoken a truer word…

((Lemay is slow to get up to his feet, TNT runs against the ropes again and delivers a hard drop kick to the chest cavity of Lemay sending him reeling back against the ropes. TNT runs forward again, but this time Lemay tosses him over the top rope. TNT lands on the apron, much to the cheering of the crowd.))

Angel: Good move by TNT!

Plague: Angel…are you playing favourites?

Angel: Well yea.

Plague: Ok, just so I don’t feel like I’m alone.

((Lemay slowly turns around, and TNT pokes him hard in the eyes. He screams like a little girl and TNT smashes his oversized head hard into the turnbuckle. He then climbs to the top rope, and Lemay tosses him off. TNT completes a full flip and lands on his feet again and mule kicks a charging Lemay, smashing him hard in the groin again and drops him hard with a stunner. Lemay rolls around, on the verge of tears. TNT walks forward and delivers a hard boot to the rib cage of Lemay. Lemay slowly gets up to his feet, but TNT uppercuts him sending him flying back into the turnbuckle. The crowd begins to chant…Canole Canole Canole…))

Plague: Its funny to see how much Lemay sucks…

Angel: Its actually kinda painful. I mean the guy is almost crying…

((TNT jumps to the top rope and flips over delivering a diamond dust…also known as his new finisher…Canole. He holds for the pin 1…2…3. The crowd goes T…N….T with every fall of the hand.))

Announcer: Your winner and gets to remain in the Compound…TNT!!!

Plague: Thank god that’s over…

Angel: And Lemay gets sent to ASW. Glad I made that stip…

Plague: Aren't we all.

Angel: And look at this….his official going away party…

((The crowd starts to sing that stupid song from that Canuckistan game they call Hockey.))

Crowd: Nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey, goo-od byeeeee…..

Angel: Yea…later Lemay…ya fucken n00b.

Plague: I have to say…I’ll miss the guy…

Angel: ….no you won’t…

((Plague stares blankly for a moment.))

Plague: Nope…. I won’t…

((Lemay stands in the ring teary-eyed as his worst nightmare comes true. A downgrade to ASW. In one last desperate attempt to gain the crowds approval he quickly switches between all his personalities. One moment we see a gloomy Dark Lord, and the next we see a cocky Perfection of Poop, followed quickly by Brian Lemay, “The personification of perfection” Brian Lemay, Dark Lord, The Dark Lord, “The Dark Lord” Brian Lemay, and finally he exhausts all his personalities as the monstrous boos of the crowd drown him out.))

Angel: Jesus Christ, someone get this little nublet out of the ring…

Plague: Hey…it’s the first match he’s shown up for…he doesn’t know what it’s like in a ring…

Angel: True…it’s an experience…

Plague: And here we go…finally some assistance.

((A group of security guards come down to the ring. Each one is sporting a shirt that says the “The Kremlin Committee.” They get into the ring and drag Lemay out as he throws a temper tantrum like a little girl. Finally they manage to drag him to the back and out of sight forever and always, amen.))

Angel: …andddd, That’s the deal!

Plague: We’re so getting sued…

Ring Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Intorducing first, representing the OWF. ANASTASIA!!!

((The arena goes dim, only a red strobe light flickers towards the entrance. The chords to "The Fragile" begin.))

"She shines
in a world full of ugliness
she matters
when everything is meaningless"

((A downpour of single-stemmed red roses begins from the rafters covering the entire arena.))

"fragile
she doesn't see her beauty
she tries to get away sometimes
it's just that nothing seems worth saving
I can't watch her slip away
I WONT LET YOU FALL APART"

((Anastasia emerges slowly from the curtain dressed in a pair of razor-cut denim jeans, a black tank top and black thigh-high boots and carrying a single stemmed red rose in her left hand while walking to the ring.she reads the minds of all the people as they pass her by.))

hoping someone can see
if I could fix myself I'd -
but it's too late for me
I WONT LET YOU FALL APART

((Anastasia steps onto the apron with the rose between her teeth, she stands gazing blankly to the crowd.))

We'll find the perfect place to go where we can run and hide
I'll build a wall and we can keep them on the other side
...but they keep waiting
...and picking...

((Taking the rose into her hand, Anastasia places the flower to her ebony colored lips kisses each peddle.))

it's something I have to do
I was there, too
before everything else
I WAS LIKE YOU

((Anastasia tosses the rose into the crowd and awaits her opponent.))

Plague: That intro was longer then the match will be…

Announcer: And her opponent…from Las Vegas Nevada…

PA: Now your doing the Waltz with your murderer…

Angel: Plague, what the fuck man…

Plague: Oh…sorry…

Announcer: Dixie Wrecked!!!!

PA System - I'm toxic your slipping under…

((Whispers of "toxic" by Britney Spears flow through the PA system. The lights dim slightly and a bright yellow light circles around the stage then stops on the curtain. The music begins to play louder and Dixie Wrecked steps out from the back with a loud reaction. She poses with her arm behind her head then blows a kiss towards the camera before walking towards the ring.))

((The two rush at each other before the Ref can even ring the bell. Anastasia gets the upper hand immediately and smashes her elbow repeatedly into the face of Dixie…drawing blood. Dixie reels backwards, but Anastasia stays on her like a three dollar hooker. A kick to the gut, and she delivers a DDT.))

Angel: Anastasia is just on top of her today.

Plague: I wish she was on top of me…

((Dixie slowly rolls up to her feet, but is met with a swift kick to the face by Anastasia, drawing more blood. She rolls around in pain, as Anastasia leans against the ropes on the far side of the ring. She lets out a yawn and awaits for her opponent to get up. Dixie finally does get up, and Anastasia is all over her again. Kicking and punching Dixie pushes her back and runs forward looking for the Erection, but Anastasia side steps and smashes the heel of her boot hard onto the head of Dixie, mashing her face into the mat.))

Angel: Good lookin move by Anastasia on that one.

Plague: That’s not all that’s good lookin...

Angel: Oh for christs sake…

Plague: Don’t be gay, you know she’s hot.

((Anastasia picks up Dixie, and Dixie finally manages to get something going with a hard poke to the face Anastasia. She backs up slightly and Dixie follows up with a hard punch to the face of her opponent slowly pushing her back to the turnbuckle. Dixie goes for a hay maker to finish it…but Anastasia ducks under it and grabs her head and running up the turnbuckle, hitting “The Demise.” She holds for the pin…1…2…3.))

Angel: Okay…besides the fact that she’s hot…Anastasia has been impressive so far…

Plague: Indeed she has. Hopefully she’ll bring some much-needed life to this federation. Until your girlfriend eats her or some shit…

((The feed cuts backstage where a few crew-members, aka James Dunn and Mucho Grasa being paid in crack, are wandering around and doing absolutely nothing. Suddenly, a man who looks mysteriously like a hardcore pedophile walks into the backstage area dressed in a suit the shade of pedophile-blue, and wearing an I-like-boys grin on his face. It’s obvious now that this man is Commishioner Ben. He approaches Dunn, who at first barely recognizes him.))

Dunn: C…commishioner Ben?

Ben: Indeed it is I!

Dunn: Why are you here?

Ben: Why, whatever do you mean? This is my show!

Dunn: Have…you ever….BEEN to a compound show before?

Ben: Why…I…uhh….errrr…..

Dunn: You didn’t even show up to the premiere.

Ben: I had important matters to tend to….

Dunn: Important matters my ass. Mucho…what do you think of this situation?

((Mucho looks at Ben.))

Mucho: Tu madre e mio punta.

Ben: What did he say?

Dunn: Nothing about little boys, so it doesn’t concern you.

Ben: Hey—

Dunn: Plague and Angel run the show now.

Ben: Nonsense. I’ll go out tonight and make a speech. I am claiming FULL ownership of The Compound once again…..FOR REAL.

….REALLY….YOU’LL SEE…..

….I’M SERIOUS….I’LL SHOW YOU ALL…..

…I MEAN IT THIS TIME…

…NO, REALLY…

Dunn: Ok, whatever. No one cares.

Mucho: Si. Tu mamma e mucho bueno.

((Commishioner Ben stomps off to his office and the feed cuts back to the announcers table.))

Angel: Well that old wrinkly fucker finally decided to show his face…

Plague: It’s about damn time. We’ve been doing all the work for this thing…well…since…

Angel: It started.

Plague: Yea…that’s it…

PA System: YO! YO! YO!

((A heavy bass beat hits the PA as an indistinguishable rap song hits the sound system. After a few bars, Savage Youth runs out from the back to the heavy cheering of the fans. He walks part way down the ramp, before crouching down and then extending his arms outwards, the words “YO” go off in sparklers behind him. He sprints the rest of the way to the ring and hops inside.))

Announcer: And the next challenger…SHAANNNOOONNN WIIINNNTTEERSSS

PA System - At the bottom of a swimming pool, I think I found a clue. I know, that I'm getting CLOSER…

((A large explosion happens on the stage. The fans all jump to their feet looking towards the entrance ramp. Immediately after the pyro, "Dead and Gone" by I am the Avalanche starts to play.))

She's Gone Away, She's gone away. I need to hear her say the world doesn't mean as much as you do.

((Then the curtain pushes open and from the back "Stunning" Shannon Winters walks out. She spends a few seconds at the top of the ramp before she slowly walks down it, towards the aisle, with her eyes concentrated on the ring.As she walks down the aisle she eyes up the fans around the ring, and gives a look up to the rafters before she gets to the apron. She quickly slides in under the bottom rope. She pushes herself up from a push up position and walks over to her corner. She leans up against the turnbuckle and awaits action.))

Announcer: Introducing next, she is the Compound Champion…”The Firefly” Kimberly Evans

((The lights dim real low, just enough for you to see your hand in front of you. A single tiny green light is set in the middle of the curtain as a voice whispers over the arena.))

PA System - Here she stands today...

In her brilliant shining way
...Stronger than her pain
In her brilliant shining way...
Fully alive and she knows how to believe in futures.

((The word "Firefly" appears on the OWFtron then floats away into a green dot that dances over the tron.))

PA System - Fully alive, more than most ready to smile and love life!

((The curtain is pushed apart and the green dot that once remained on the curtain is now a part of Kimberly Evans. She rushes to the side of the stage dancing roughly to her music in almost a head banging rhythm.The theme continues to play as the lights pick back up she darts down the ramp and turns backwards just before she slides under the bottom rope on her back. She instantly jumps to her feet without using her hands, showing her amazing athletic ability. The theme cuts out and Kimberly eagerly awaiting the start of the match.))

Angel: And here we go...Compound Title Match...

Plague: Can't you just see the tears of joy welling in my eyes....

((The Ref calls for the bell and the three begin to circle around the ring. Savage makes a dash for the champion but she tosses him out of the way with a hip toss. Winters is next, but she catches the back of the champs fist in the mouth. Youth has begun to rise and makes a grab at Evans, but she drives the heel of her shoe square into Youth’s balls. Winters, has now recovered and charges Evans again, but the Firefly drops down and nails a perfect back body drop square onto the doubled over Savage Youth. Evans smiles as she backs away from the two that are now struggling with each other to be the first one up. Savage rolls out of the ring, after falling prey to Winters nails and her flailing feet. She quickly gets up to her feet and rushes Evans again wildly throwing punches and closed fists at her. Evans ducks the first two, but catches the next across the kisser. She faces Winters, checks her mouth for blood and “You Bitch” can be seen mouthed on her face. She retaliates with a hard fist to the forehead of winters and a hard Irish Whip that sends her tumbling to the outside.))

Angel: I think Youth is paying more attention to the all the tats in his face than the actual match….

((No response.))

Angel: Plague…

((He looks over and sees Plague staring into the ring and drooling a little.))

Plague: Booobiiieeessssss….

Angel: Fucken ridiculous…

((Meanwhile, Savage youth has grabbed a chair and has slid back into the ring. He sets it up behind Evans and bounces into the ropes and jumps of the chair delivering a well executed dropkick right to her jaw. Evans stumbles against the ropes and Youth follows up with a barrage of punches that sends her reeling. She eventually blocks one, only to catch another one in the face. He bounces off the ropes, looking to delvier a headscissors take down, but Evans leaps up and delivers a perfect looking hurricanrana. Winters has risen to her feet on the ouside and sets up a table by the ring apron. She rolls into the ring and Savage youth does as well on the other side holding the ladder in his hands. The two look at each other and look back at Evans. The champ backs into a corner holding her hands out in a peace offering.))

Plague: Ha…I taught her that trick…

Angel: Of course you did. It’s pussy cheating bullshit.

Plague: I resent that.

((Winters charges with a clothesline but Evans ducks it and looks to follow up on the confused Winters but Savage smashes her with a savage hit to the face with the ladder that sends her sprawling on the ground. Savage sets up the ladder and the remaining two go at it.Winters starts with a series of hard elbows to the face, but Youth ducks one and kicks out her knee with a hard shot. He grabs the chair and hits her with a hard blow that sends her reeling over the ropes and onto the table. Savage begins to climb the ladder hand over hand before he has reached the top. He stretches up trying to grab the title…but then sees Winters on the table. He climbs the remaining rung and leaps off…executing the YO YO Splash from the top of the ladder…sending both through the table.))

Angel: If I didn’t know any better I’d say that was a crazy Mexican named Williams.

Plague: Well, both have an IQ of about 3.

Angel: Very true.

Plague: ~cough~ voteforplague ~cough~

Angel: Bastard.

((Evans slowly comes too, her head gushing blood. She grabs the apron and climbs up, the same time as Savage does. They both stagger into the ring and begin to climb the ladder on opposite sides. The two both reach for the title, then realize that the other is there. Savage delivers a haymaker to Evans face, but she doesn’t fall. She delivers one right back to Youth. The two go back and forth with Punches until Evans gets the upper hand and hits him again in the balls underneath the ladder rung. She grabs his head, and signals to the crowd and leaps off, driving Youth’s head hard into the mat below.))

Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!

Angel: The next time I see him get hit in the nuts I’m gonna start crying. If you taught your bitch any dirtier tactics she’d be prostituting in that ring, not wrestling.

Plague: I’m working on it.

((Evans slowly rolls to her feet and begins to climb the ladder again, unclipping the belt as she reaches the top. The fans erupt in cheers as she holds it up for all to see.))

Plague: That’s my girl.

((Plague puts his headset down and leaves the announcing table, heading for the ring. A smile lights up on Evans face as she sees her trainer coming to congratulate her. Once in the ring they embrace each other and Plague obviously cops a feel. But Evans is so happy she doesn’t even care. Plague signals for a mic and gets one.))

Plague: Well Evans, you proved to me, and to everyone else out here tonight…that you are definitely worthy of that title.

((The crowd erupts in cheers.))

Plague: Looks like all my brilliant training finally paid off.

((You can hear Angel mumbling under his breath through the headset.))

Plague: Anyway, I just wanted to congratulate you Evans. You did good kid.

((The crowd goes crazy again, but their cheers are suddenly cut off by Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. The opera part, with really high and falsetto voices. Which is totally badass, but when you look like a hardcore pedophile it can only mean bad things. Commissioner Ben starts down the ramp trying to imitate a Vince Mcmahon like strut…and failing miserably.))

Angel: Great…just what we needed….

((Commissioner Ben steps through ropes and Plague meets him face to face. Ben stares for a moment then walks past him and receives a mic. Plague signals for Evans to leave the ring, and she does with one last nod and a smile. Ben steps in the center of the ring and begins to speak.))

Ben: Plague! Angel! I don’t know what you boys think you’re doing! But this is MY show! I am the creator, the operator, and the owner! Mine, mine, mine!

((The crowd boos monstrously. Plague steps forward.))

Plague: Well, Ben…I’m the judge, the jury, and the executioner. My verdict? You’re a fucken asshole. My sentence? Death. You have 3 seconds to step outside this ring. OUR ring.

Ben: You can’t do that! I made this show! I put so much work into it!

Angel: Don’t listen to him folks. He put about as much work into this show as Piter Svoboda does into singles matches.

Plague: Ben…you have not done JACK SHIT for this show, or this federation! Now if you don’t want to receive the same fate as that loser Lemay, then I suggest you step out of this ring, admit you’re a failure at life, and never step foot into an OWF even again!

Ben: I will do no such th—

BOOM! Plague nails The Vaccine right into Ben’s jaw! He collapses lifelessly to the ground as the mic spikes over the PA system.

Angel: Well that’s gotta hurt. Welcome to The Compound fucker.

Plague: Our ring! Our show! What we say goes! And we say….

Crowd: YOU’REEEEE FIREEEDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!

((The crowd erupts in cheers as Plague drops the mic and taunts around the ring, giving Ben a kick every so often.))

Angel: Well folks, we’re out of time! Damn ASW for that generic closing line!

((The Compound symbol spins on the screen and eventually fades to black.))