(The scene fades into the MCI Center in Washington D.C., the United States' capital, and home of the NBA's Philadelphia 76ers. You scan the arena, and in the front row you see Allen Iverson and Dikembe Mutombo on hand along with Mario Lemieux and Donovan McNabb, all Philly fan favorites. Area Codes by Ludacris plays in the background as you notice a few of the fan's signs as always, some saying, "I Got Kissens Pregnant!" and "Bring Back Osmosis Jones!" The scene then goes to the announcer's table where Nick Burst and Toby Wilks sit.)

Wilks - Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another Thursday Clash. Tonight's Main Event promises to be nuts, on this special one hour edition. We are also sad to inform you that Mourning will be canceled in Charlotte this coming Monday, so after tonight, the UOWF won't see YOU, until Six Feet Under, live on Pay-Per-View, March 31st!

Burst - The night where Jesse Williams' title reign will finally come to a hault, thank you lord!

Wilks - Or not.

Burst - Will too!

PA System - Oooo aah aaah aah!

("Down With The Sickness" by Disturbed hits the speakers as the hated UOWF Exectives make their way out, DK, Kozmo, and Storm. They all get into the ring to a crowd full of boos, and begin to speak over them as the music cuts.)

Prez DK - Shut the hell up and listen!

(Crowd boos.)

Prez DK - We're going to make this quick, we have other business to attend to. Now first of all, let's get the bottom feeding part out of the way.. yeah, that being that pregnant tramp Jackie Kissens, UOWF's very own. Now let me make something very clear, last time, I wasn't the father, this time, I'm NOT the father, so stop your bullshit speculating.

Prez Kozmo - I did not have sexual relations with that woman..

Prez DK - ...Storm..

Commish Storm - What? Oh.. No, wasn't me.

Prez Kozmo - Of course not, you're gay. But that's besides the point. Tonight is the final event before Six Feet Under, so if you want to know the Pay-Per-View's card, you'll have to log onto UOWF.com immediately following the show, oh yes.

Prez DK - And let it be known that tonight, will be phase one of dismantalling Jesse Williams. Not only does he have to team with someone who hates him, but Bryan and Jason are ready to do what we brought them in here to do, and what they wanna do, and that is make Jesse's life a living hell.

Commish Storm - And by next Sunday, he'll be right for the pickins when Venom gets a hold of him, especially with Tann calling the match.. Just give up Jesse, you double crossed me, and now it's time for you to pay.

Prez Kozmo - And don't forget.. EAT SHIT!

PA System - Oooh aahh aahhh aaah!

("Down With The Sickness" by Disturbed starts up again as they all exit the ring area, and you see Jesse Williams slam down his monitor in the back, and then get a glimpse of Jackie Kissens in tears leaving the arena in a limo, as the scene comes back to the announce table.)

Wilks - Wow, I hate those bias assholes!

Burst - Watch your mouth! They sign your paychecks Toby.

Wilks - I don't care, damn them!

Burst - Shut up.

Wilks - Let's get to our opening match for tonight.

Burst - Make the call Fatty Nichols!

Nichols - The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and will be for the UOWF Network Championship! Coming down first, the challenger.. BRANDON ASHCROFT!

(The eerie sound of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata begins to play over the PA system, setting an dreary mood in the arena. The lights have gone out and white lights are flashing around the arena as the fans look around at the entrance curtain. Brandon slowly walks out from the curtain. The fans are screaming for him and holding signs about him and he just doesn't seem to care. He rolls into the ring and sits in the corner like Raven used to do.)

Nichols - And his opponent, the Network Champion.. MORTAL TORMENT, MARC NEILSON!

(As Mortal Torment's music hits the arena, another character strides to the ring with him.  It is Dan Acloza, from the Acolade gym, where Mortal Torment works.  Dan, prowls the ringside, chair in hand.)

(Ding, Ding, Ding...)

The match begins with Ashcroft and Neilson grappling in a collar and elbow tie up, Ashcroft takes an advantage with a knee to Neilson's gut, Neilson doubles over and then falls to the mat from a double ax handle from Ashcroft! Ashcroft picks Neilson up and hooks him in a snap suplex. Ashcroft rolls through with it and pulls Neilson up for another suplex but Neilson blocks it and performs a quick go behind, Neilson lifts Ashcroft and drills him with a German suplex that sprawls him out on the mats! Both men take a moment to catch their breath and both get up about the same time. Ashcorft charges at Neilson and is met with a drop toe hold! Neilson gets back up and pulls Ashcroft up as well, Ashcroft catches Neilson with a throat thrust that forces Neilson back into the ropes, Ashcroft reels back and catches Neilson with a knife hand chop! Then nails Neilson with another knife hand chop. Neilson grabs Ashcroft and reverses the positions, Neilson reels back to chop Ashcroft but Ashcroft drops down and BACK BODY DROPS NEILSON OVER THE TOP ROPE! Ashcroft rolls out of the ring and pulls Neilson up to his feet. The two men exchange blows while the ref starts the count. 1... 2... 3... Ashcroft ducks a right hook and sends Neilson Square into a corner post. 4...5...6.... Ashcroft pulls Neilson up and hooks him in a DDT on the thin mats! 7...8...9.... Ashcroft rolls Neilson back into the ring to break the count. Neilson staggers up as Ashcroft kicks him in the stomach, And drills him with a gut wrench powerbomb! Ashcroft gets up and uncharacteristically goes to the corner and goes to the top ropes. Neilson slowly gets up and staggers backwards and then turns around, Ashcroft leaps off the ropes looking for a diving clothesline! Neilson ducks and Ashcroft crashes to the ground! Neilson still a little dizzy picks Ashcroft up and attempts a russian leg sweep, and connects!! Neilson covers 1... 2.. Ashcroft kicks out. Torment picks up Ashcroft and whips him against the ropes. He goes for a closeline, Ashcroft ducks. On his way back his is met with two boots from Neilson right on his chest. Torment takes advantage while Ashcrofts down and locks in a dragon sleeper. He starts to stand up, pulling Ashcroft up with him into a reverse DDT postion! Ashcroft counters Mortal Torments backdrop attempt with a chop to the gut, and then Marc's finisher, a Mortal Whiplash.  As he goes for the pin, Dan Acloza drags the referee out, and throws him to the floor.  Ashcroft reaches over the ropes, grabbing Acloza's hair, and dragging him to the apron.  Acloza throws the chair to Ashcroft's face, then kicks it, knocking him out cold.  Marc goes for the pin, and Dan throws the referee into the ring, 1...2...3!

Nichols - Your winner, and STILL Network Champion... MORTAL TORMENT!!

Wilks - Mortal Torment retains his Network Title.

Burst - He fought Asscroft, woopidy doo!

Wilks - You never learn, do ya?

(In the back, Jason Sensation ands Bryan Tann are in Tann's dressing room. There figuring out there plans, getting together on what to do. Both men dressed and ready to go, both men looking ready. From outside the door you can see a shadow pass by. A knocking at the door as Tann walks over there to see nothing. A voice can be heard, which says this.)

Voice - Tann, this comebacks going to be a bitch...

          (Tann walks out the door as he goes searching for whoever it was. Sensations inside all alone, looking around. A voice can be heard by him too.)

Voice - Jason, are you afraid? Jason, i'm here to teach you a lesson. You want gold? Look somewhere else!

  (The lights turn off as it's black for a while. The door can be heard slammed as Tann looks back and sees it closed. He opens the door to a pitch black room. Tann turns the light on to see Sensation laying on the ground with his head smashed into a TV and glass all over his neck.)

Voice - Both you boys better be ready, cause this is just the beginning.    

(Outside you can see Venom's shadow with a big smile on his face. He pushes the door closed. Tann runs to the door and opens it up, with nobody or nothing around. He slams the door and walks inside.)

Wilks - What was that all about?

Burst - Why you asking me?

Wilks - Who's to say I was asking you?

Burst - Oh, so you're talking to yourself huh?

Wilks - The fans Nick, the fans.

Burst - Shut up, they can't respond to you, I can!

Wilks - Yes, unfortunately. Back to Fa.. Nichols for our next contest.

Burst - FATTAY!

Nichols - The next contest will be fought in the White House for the PDA Title..

The match begins in the oval office where Talon and Hardcore Kid stand in the middle, staring eachother down.

Burst - Hey! Look! There in the oral office!

Wilks - Very funny, Nick.

Harcore Kid smacks Talon in the face, Talon pulls is right fist back and punches Hardcore Kid in the face. Hardcore Kid falls back onto the hard floor. Talon grabs his legs and stomps on his crotch. Hardcore Kid screams in pain. Talon rolls Hardcore Kid over and locks in a one-legged boston crab. Hardcore Kid reaches over and grabs the wire for the camera and loops it up, scream moaning in pain. He then swings it back and slashes the neck of Talon. Talon lets go and drops forward as he grabs his neck. Hardcore Kid pulls himself up and stomps on Talon. Talon fights back and gets up. Hardcore Kid knees him in the stomach and goes for a DDT but Talon holds him and back body drops him onto a hard wooden desk! Talon climbs onto the desk with Hardcore Kid and throws him on off it! He lands on his back, almost passed out. Talon dives off and connects Death From Above!! He covers.. 1.. 2.. 3!!

Nichols - Your winner, and still PDA Champion... TALON!!

Wilks - Talon sure is hot!

Burst - Judging guys?

Wilks - What?

Burst - Maybe Talon is gay too, I'll hook you two up.

Wilks - Ahh! I hate you!

Burst - Just trying to help ya out Toby.

(The scene goes the back in the executives office. You see Kozmo, Storm, and DK all jotting things down into a notebook, talking amongst each other, Kozmo then glances up and notices the camera.)

Prez Kozmo - Oh good, our fuckin' camera man has finally arrived. After this.. Joe? That your name camera man?

Camera Man - Yeah.

Prez Kozmo - Consider yourself fired after this, we told you to be here at 7:45, not 7:49. Now, we're hard at work with this Pay-Per-View card, and we got to thinking about employee of the month. Our top two candidates... Mister Nichols..

Burst - Nichols!? You've gotta be shittin' me!

Prez Kozmo - And.. Nick Burst.

Wilks - You've gotta be shittin' me!

Prez Kozmo - Now, how the employee of the month will be decided, is like this... Six Feet Under, Strap Match, Burst, taking on Nichols. Good luck. Now get out of here!

(Kozmo gets out of his seat and throws the camera man out and rips off his VIP badge as security comes for him. You then see Hugh G. Rection, the Discount Weight Champ walking by the office, and about to enter, right before a new man, DRACO appears! Draco tackles down Hugh G. Rection, and nails him over the head with the Discount Weight Title. Draco then throws Hugh G. Rection into the Exective office door. The door is opened back up, this time by Storm, as the scene fades back to the announce table.)

Wilks - Draco is here, and just let our Discount Weight Champ have it!

Burst - TOBY! I get to kick Nichols' ass for employee of the month!

Wilks - Yeah... good luck, not like you deserve it.

Burst - Oh fuck you, I more than deserve it.

Wilks - No comment, time for the Main Event..

Burst - You're just jealous.

Nichols - This is your soon to be Employee of the Month, making the announcement for OUR MAIN EVENT!

Burst - Oh he's dead!

Nichols - Coming down first...

(The scene fades to the hallway right before the entrance, where you see a huge brawl going on between everyone in the main event. Jesse and Venom are duking it out, as are Saraph and Davis. Tann and Sensation watch the Jobber Union take out the mWo. The action moves out onto the ramp as UOWF officials run down and seperate all the men. They all walk slowly down to the ring, still talking smack.)

Wilks - Apparently, none of them could wait until the match to get them some.

(All the wrestlers get straightened out and take their spots at ringside.)

Wilks - Okay, looks like we're ready.

(Ding, Ding, Ding...)

The bell rings, as Jesse and Venom immediately charge each other, knocking each other down. They roll out of the ring, struggling around fighting each other. Tann charges FAT and Sensation gets After Meca. Saraph and Davis start to fight, as the Jobber Union is left alone. Jesse and Venom fight on the entrance ramp, as Venom starts to climb up the UOWF-Tron. Jesse laughs, and he climbs the other side.

Wilks - This cant be good!

Saraph nails a DDT on Davis in the ring, as Tann locks FAT in Lights Out. Sensation nails Meca with a huge stunner, sending him to the outside. Tann throws FAT to the outside, as both members of the mWo are unconcious. Sensation and Tann go after the Jobber Union as Dude job pushes Dean Man into a DDT by Sensation as Dude job leaves the ring, and runs toward Jesse and Venom, who are now reaching the top of the UOWF Tron. Dude job runs to the back.

Burst - Pfffff! Pussy!

Saraph and Davis nail each other with a punch sending them to the ground. Tann and Sensation, quickly execute, a huge Suplex on Dean Man, landing him on his neck, as Tann puts his foot on Dean man and picks him up, Dean Man is out cold, as he locks Dean man in Lights Out, and the ref calls for the bell.

Nichols - THE WINNERS OF THIS MATCH...AND..NEEEEEWWWWWWW UOWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIOOONS...JASON SENSATION..AND BRYAN TANN!!

(Tann and Sensation grab the belts and leave.. as Davis gets up, with Saraph and nails The Dragon Strike... Davis gets up, spits on Saraph. As Jesse and Venom battle on top of the UOWF Tron.)

Wilks - THEY ARE BOTH GONNA FALL!

(Jesse pushes Venom, and Venom grabs his arm, and they both fall, onto the electrical box, sending everything to static, as the show ends.)