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This is a new generation.. A new breed of talent... Whispers fill your ears as the intro to music begins to play. They fade as the singing begins. If you feel... So empty.. So used up.. So
Let Down.. If you feel so angry.. So ripped off.. So
stepped on.. Your not the.. Only one. Clips of the new blood of OWF as well as old footage passes over your screen as "Riot" by 3 Days Grace plays in the background. The opening segment of Addiction grabs your attention and the theme itself becomes addicting.
Falcoon - Sit down.. Shut up, Strap in and find.. Your.... ADDDDDDICTION! AHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The camera's flare up upon hearing OWF Commentator Gordie Falcoon's "Wheel of Fortune" parody. We come down in front of the commentators as "Riot" by Three Days Grace continues to play in the background. Falcoon - AHOOOOOOO AGAIN! Burst - It's Monday night and this show is gonna.... suck. Falcoon - What.. Wait why? Burst - Two words. Don't Question Me You Fucking Bitch. Falcoon - Heeeeeeyyy... That's three words! Burst - Ugh... Falcoon - Fans for those of you who have not heard the news and live naked and tied up in Kevin Spacey's basement... Burst - GET ON WITH IT! Falcoon - A-who-ha-hey! .... Draco and Aphrodisia Jordan had a minor dispute with President Scott 'Diamond' Kid after Determined and decided to opt out of their contracts with The Outsider Wrestling Federation. Draco and Aphrodisia were a great part of the OWF and we wish them best of luck in the future. Burst - Mannnn... Draco. That fuckin' guy. I ..... I gotta admit ... I liked him. Falcoon - Wha-what? You don't like anyone. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH NICK BURST YOU FAKE! Gordie reaches over and pulls on Nick's nose, trying to rip it off. Nick punches him in the side of the head and he releases the hold. They take a minute to recompose themselves then continue. Falcoon - Oh... Well. I guess you ARE really Nick Burst. Burst - No shit numb nuts. ...Pullin my fuckin nose and shit. Falcoon - Where is the third commentator? Burst - If they were in your ass you'd know it. Falcoon - Mah mah meh meh meh. Missy Janson - The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first.. From Oklahoma City, OK.. Tha Joka! The Walls by Dark Lotus plays over the loud speakers as Joka comes walking out slowly and menacing wearing all black. He raises his arms very slowly with palms pointed up as green light fills the arena. Joka runs down to the ring and slides in spinning around as he stands up. He jumps up on a turnbuckle throwing up the devil horns as his song comes to an end. Missy Janson - And his opponent.... "Killing in name of" by Rage Against the Machine hits the sound system as the lights go black and the screen shows the words "Experience Greatness!" which flash in yellow on a black background. Missy Janson - From Margate England.... The Electric Guitar!! Then a video of various suplexes and powerbombs comes on, all performed by the electric Guitar. The curtain moves and he appears at the top of the runway, holding his arms up for all to see. The crowd go wild as the Electric Guitar shuffles the collar on his leather jacket and then struts down the ramp before rolling into the ring. He takes off his jacket and throws it outside to the announcers table and the walks to a corner to climb the turnbuckle and raise his arms to his fans. Chants of "E.G... E.G..." fill the arena on top of the music. A wide arrogant smile crosses his face, and then he jumps down and hops on the spot in anticipation for his match to begin. Falcoon - The Joka is new to the scene here in the OWF and this is his trial match! Burst - This match sure looks like it's gonna be a doozy. Falcoon - You're excited for this match? Burst - No, it's going to be a doozy in the sense of horrible-ness. Falcoon - Horrible-ness? Burst - Mmhmm. (Ding, Ding, Ding) Electric Guitar starts out by clotheslining Tha Joka to the mat. Burst - Man, that guy looks familiar. EG picks him right back up, lifting a knee to his sternum, which knocks the wind out of The Joka, and gives EG time to hoist him up onto his shoulder, before whipping him back first right back down to the mat. EG looks pissed as he approaches the fallen Joka, lifting him up by his arms and irish whipping him across the ring. Burst - I think I'm catching a fever... Falcoon - Don't do it, Nick. Tha Joka bounces back and finds himself on the receiving end of a spear that nearly cuts him in half. EG jumps right back up, grabbing Joka by the head and lifting him up to his knees. EG brings his foot up and kicks Joka right in the face, before sticking his head between his legs. Burst - This match is...Shocking. Falcoon - Don't....DO....IT! He holds Joka up, before falling backwards, jamming his head right into the mat with a jumping piledriver. Joka looks to be unconscious, but EG doesn't stop. Burst - EG is sending a message to Imperium. EG grabs the head and arm of Tha Joka, who is on his stomach and EG picks him back up to his feet. The Joka is not sure footed, as EG pushes him as hard as he can and Tha Joka hits back first into the turnbuckle. He stumbles out, and EG nails him with the Taste of Greatness superkick, and it sends Tha Joka down to the mat. EG covers him as the referee falls into place..1...2...3! Missy Janson - Your winner......ELECTRIC GUITAR! Burst - SHOCKING! Falcoon - You made that joke already. Burst - UHHHH NO! We instantly cut backstage in front of a closed door. On the door is a flyer that reads: ARE YOU STRONG ENOUGH? ... TO BE THE NEXT..... *AMERICAN DRACO* We step inside the room where a small stage is set up with ropes around it, an obvious mockery of a wrestling ring. A long folding table with a red white and blue cloth is set up against the back wall with three seats occupied by Jackie Kissens, President CJ, and Meca Blight. In front of each of them on the table sits a notepad and a pen for notes. Prez CJ - Alright. Send in the first contestant. The door creeps open and in walks James Dunn. Prez CJ - Right up there on the stage Dunn, yup.. Right under the ropes. James stands on the platform with his arms on the ropes and a big "American Draco" banner hanging behind him catches your eye. Prez CJ - Now... James I know you've already been explained the rules. But once more I will go over them. Draco left the OWF this week, and his was a HUGE factor in this fed. The man will probably be in the hall of fame someday. But it left us with a HUGE whole to fill. Sooo... We are looking for "The Next Draco". Someone appealing enough to catch the fans eyes. Show us what you got.... James clears his throat before reaching for the mic stationed in front of him. James Dunn - I AM DRACO!... ..... ..... ..... An akward silence floats through the room as the judges stare at Dunn's blank expression. Prez CJ - Is that... ....... Is that it? CJ turns to Meca. Meca shrugs his shoulders. Kissens - James... Are you on drugs right now? James hangs his head in shame and walks out of the room. Prez CJ - NEEEXXXXXTT!! The door opens and in walks Rip Lawson. Kissens - Yeeeah. I would just turn and leave. Prez CJ -Yeah.. You have a better chance at being Jesus than you do at being Draco. Meca - You suck. Rip turns and walks away as the camera's head back to the ring. Falcoon - Wow how lame.. That's just retarded. Burst - It's a good idea, too bad we don't have anyone even close. Falcoon - Oh will you people just get over it? He's gone! He's not coming back... GET OVER IT! Missy Janson - The following contest is scheduled for one fall.. Introducing first.. From Seattle Washington.... "The Misfit" Spaz! The lights go out and the opening cords to Drain the Blood(The Distillers) blares over the PA. They lights come on dim and the silouette of a figure stands on the stage. The figure turns his head and reveals himself to be "The Misfit" Spaz. The lights come back on fully and the crowd begins to roar. Spaz is wearing his leather jacket with a Misfits sweater, and his hair in Liberty Spikes as he makes his way to the ring. Fire pyro begins to engulf the stage and Spaz walks through the fire till he gets to the ring. He walks up the steps and gets into the ring via the middle rope. He removes the jacket and reveals "Legacy of Brutality" on the right sleeve of the sweater. He discards of his sweater to reveal a scared upper torso. He then stands in the center of the ring awaiting action. Missy Janson - And his opponent... "The Imperium Presents" Trent Steel PA System - No place to run...No place to hide...The Imperium Age...Has now begun! Missy Janson - From Pittsburgh, PA.... "The Son of a Bitch..." TRENT STEEEEEL!! Diety by Dir En Gray starts to play as the lights go out. Red smoke enters the entraceway as Trent Steel emerges. He gets down the ring slowly and removes his coat and shades. Trent climbs through the ropes and gets into his fighting stance waiting for the bell to ring. Falcoon - Can't say I like The Imperium.. But I'll tell you one thing.. This guy right here is the future of the OWF. Burst - The guy is a fuckin loon! He's driven away half our roster with his excessive bull shit, liking messing with these guy's personal lives. Falcoon - Yeeeeah. He is pretty cool. Burst - What I... God I hate you kid. (Ding, Ding, Ding...) Steel and Spaz immediately charge each other, with Steel taking him out with a cross body block. He quickly lifts Spaz to his feet, irish whipping him into the corner. He charges at Spaz, but Spaz gets his feet up knocking Steel back into the middle of the ring. Spaz walks out, attempting a dropkick, but Steel just sidesteps him as Spaz falls to the mat. Spaz hops right back up, but he is sent back to his knees with a right hand by Steel. Falcoon - Steel with the early advantage. He lifts Spaz back to his feet, but Spaz steps behind him and nails a falling neckbreaker. Both men hit the mat hard, as Spaz rolls over, covering Steel...1...kickout. Spaz lifts Steel to his feet, but Steel reverses and nails a jawbreaker on Spaz. Spaz holds his mouth while Steel pushes himself up, using the ropes to steady his balance. Spaz pushes himself up to one knee, but Steel is quick to come after him. Burst - There's no give against Trent Steel. He lifts Spaz up to his feet, where he slams him right back down with a scoop slam. He follows it up with an elbow across the throat, which Spaz reacts to by gasping for air. Steel wastes no time, grabbing Spaz up by the arm and head and bringing him up into a gorilla press position. he presses him up and down three times, showing his strength, before dropping him right onto his face. Burst - What power! Spaz hops right back to his feet, with his second wind, and nails Steel with a flipping drop kick that sends him stumbling into the ropes. he bounces back, and is met by a high kick to the side of the head which dazes Steel. Spaz grabs his arm, and hooks it around his head, attempting The End, but Steel pulls his arm free and locks Spaz into a half nelson. He flips him backwards, landing him right on his neck. Spaz holds his head in pain, kicking his legs viciously. Falcoon - Spaz may be seriously hurt right now. He lifts Spaz up by the hair, tucking his head between his legs. He lifts him up into the air, and drops him right on his neck awkwardly with a high angle powerbomb. Spaz goes limp. Burst - OH god! Falcoon - That did NOT sound good! Spaz doesn't move an inch, as Steel covers him...1...2...3! Missy Janson - Your winner of this match......TRENTTTT STEEL! Falcoon - And Trent takes another win against Scarred. "THE IMPERIUM" The words are stamped onto the OWF-tron as the unmistakable guitar beats of "brain stew" by Green day blares over the PA system. PA System - I'm havin' trouble tryin' taa sleep... Countin sheep but runnin' out... It continues to play as President Diamond Kid steps out onto the ramp with his trademark shades covering his eyes. He ignores the massive boos he recieves from the crowd as he heads down towards the ring. He walks around to the side, grabbing a mic from the timekeepers table before he pulls himself into the ring. Burst - I never thought I wouldn't be able to stand seeing this man. He turned his back on everyone in the OWF and joining Chris Green is unforgivable. Falcoon - Then he kicked Jesse outta The Imperium! Burst - Quit tryin to sweet talk me into liking him. I'm pissed. Prez DK - Listen... LISTEN! Fuckin stop booing or I'll pack this place up and file for bankrupcy! Falcoon - He'll do it!...... Again. and Again.. and again.... and Burst - WE GET IT! "FUCK-YOU-ASS-HOLE!" is the very recognisable chant that fills the arena. Finally he drops the mic on the mat and the fans cheer. He scoops it back up and screams into it. Prez DK - I'M NOT GIVING YOU THE PLEASURE OF ME WALKING AWAY! FUCK YOU.. SHUT UP YOU FUCKING HICKS AND LISTEN TO ME! "FUCK-YOU-ASS-HOLE!" continues across the arena. It dies down and DK brings the mic back up to his lips. Prez DK - Are you done? Are youuuu done? Finally. All I wanted to do is announce MY canidate for "OWF Contender Elect!".. I've thought long and hard about it.. And well..... PA System - Dun... Da-unt Da-unt Da-unt... Da-unt Da-unt Da-unt... The presidental election theme hits over the PA system. The OWF-tron is covered with a giant OWF flag that drapes down. Falcoon - OWF Contender Elect! It'll feature two of OWF's finest battling for votes from you fans to see WHOOO will be #1 Contender for the OWF title. Burst - How long is this shit gonna last? Falcoon - Well into July! Burst - Ahhh fuck. I hate politics. The arena goes entirely dark and then the drum rolls of Down with the Sickness is heard throughout the arena. The words The Plague Has Struck appears on the titantron, each word at a time. PA System - Ooh Ah Ah Ah Ah The pyros blast off as the first scream in the song is heard illuminating the whole arena and revealing a man at the enterance ramp with a guitar slung over his black trenchcoat. Ooh Ah Ah Ah Ah The man slowly looks up and begins his walk down to the ring. Drowning deep in my sea of loathing Looking at my own reflection When he's about halfway, he breaks into a sprint and slides under the bottom rope. Plague leaps to his feet and shakes hands with Prez DK. Prez DK - Your next... OWF Number One Contender... PLAGUE! Burst - He's stacking the odds in his favor. The Imperium already holds the OWF, Network, and Tag titles. Genius move! Falcoon - Balls. Burst - Ugh. The fans boo as Plague gives a politican wave to each side of the crowd. "PLAGUE-SUCKS-DICK! "PLAGUE-SUCKS-DICK!" DK hands the mic to Plague who waits for a break in the chants. Finally he shrugs and throws the mic down. The fans cheer as they watch the two of them make their exit. Burst - Come on. A little respect for the canidate. Fuckin Democrats. Falcoon - WHAT!? Are you FUCKING serious? Fuckin Republic trash! Burst - Bitch two things you DON'T wanna argue with me about.. Politics and Religion. Falcoon - You know what. You're right. .... No convincing a republican to think openly and NOT about themselves. Burst - You know what mother fuc..... Missy Janson - The following contest is scheduled for one fall with PDA rules! "I'm The One" by Static-X kicks onto the PA System, and at full speed "The Ego" Jason Davis runs out from the back. Missy Janson - Introducing first... From Cleveland, Ohio... "The Ego" Jason Davis! He runs passed the extended hands of the fans, as he runs towards the ring down the aisle. He slides in under the bottom rope, looking directly into the camera and unleashing his infamous grin as his music dies down. He leans up against the ropes and waits for his opponent. Missy Janson - And his opponent... Burst - I think someone is about to get a visit from security! Falcoon - How much does Caine pay you to say that? Burst - Eh, 2G's flat. Falcoon - GRAMS!? Burst - Cash.. Moron. Falcoon - So, you'll say anything for money? Burst - Maybe...if...THE PRICE...isssssss....RIGHT! Missy Janson - From Croswell Michigan.... JAMES CAINE!! A camera is shown backstage and shows security knocking on Caine's door. The song starts as the arena goes black. The camera backstage shows Caine walking in Top hat, and trench surrounded by security. PA System - I am the one, Orgasmatron, the outstretched grasping hand. My image is of agony, my servants rape the land Caine has a satisfyingly evil grin on his face. Back in the arena the lights strobe twice with the central beat prompting the entrance video to begin. At approximately 55 seconds into the song, a spray of ice-cold mist engulfs the entrance and Caine steps into the spray. He stands there freezing for a moment before stepping through and pumping the crowd. On his way to the ring he slaps some hands. "Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine
and vain "I march before a martyred world, an
army for the fight He slides beneath the bottom rope and spins around and hops up. "I hold a banner drenched in blood, I
urge you to be brave He spins around and poses for the fans to erupt. He then stares down his opponent as he lowers himself into a seated position in a corner. As the bell ring Caine pulls himself up using the top rope, and heads to the center of the ring. (Ding, Ding, Ding...) Caine wastes no time, lunging himself across the ring at Jason Davis, Davis tries to move but Caine catches him with a fist to the forehead. Caine falls ontop of him and unleashes a series of rights and lefts! Falcoon - He's makin Davis look like a compounder! The ref pulls Caine off, Davis tries to stumble back to his feet. Caine kicks him in the gut... Psycho Crusherv2! Falcoon - Flipping pedigree and that's lights out for "The Ego" Burst - Pathetic. I thought Davis was really gonna show us something. Fuckin loser. Caine leaps to the top turnbuckle.. Psycho Dive! He lands the 450 splash and lays ontop of Davis.. 1...2...3. Burst - God damn that was fast. I didn't even finish my beer! Falcoon - Caine is making his point! Burst - That he can beat someone in 45 seconds? Sheeeesh. Missy Janson - Here is your winner.... JAMES CAINE!! Again we cut backstage to the "American Draco" room. Prez CJ - Next! The door swings open and Jesse Williams steps in. Jackie squirms in her seat and smiles brightly at him. Prez CJ - Alright Jesse... Let's see your.. "Draco" The cameras pan into Jesse's blood shot eyes as he squints and looks confused. Jesse - ...Who? Prez CJ - You're hear for the try out's are you? Jesse - No man.. There's a sign on the door that says "Free Coke" I just came in to get one. The door bursts open and Alexis Cage stumbles in. Shes in a panic with her hair a mess and her eyes nearly poping out of their sockets. Alexis - WHERE'S THE COKE MAN!?!!? She scratches and digs at the side of her head as everyone in the room stares at her. Jesse grabs her by the arm and pulls her to her feet. Jesse - Sweetie.. It's.... It's not that kinda Coke. Alexis - Whadda ya mean!? Alexis says presistantly as Jesse puts his arm around her and heads for the door. Just as they walk out. Mike Van Pelt walks in. Jesse - I'll explain later... Oh.. hey MVP. What's up man. MVP - Just comin in for the COKE! The judges are in shock as the cameras cut back to ringside. Falcoon - What do you think would happen if the OWF had random drug tests? Burst - We'd be short two commentators, a ring announcer, a time keeper, both presidents, and an entire lockerroom. Falcoon - Not to mention the fans that watch this crap. Burst - Yeah no shit! Missy Janson - The following contest is scheduled for a handicap tables match! Introducing first.. Mucho Grasa, No Habla Ingles, and Mr. Comida.. The Triple Crunch Taco Supremes! Burst - Where's Jesse? Falcoon - Shut up. Some crappy mexican music plays as the three men chant spanish jibberish on the way to the ring. Missy Janson - And their opponent... From Ancient Sumeria... Dark Lord! Man in the Box by Alice in Chains plays over the PA system as Dark Lord emerges from the fog. (Ding, Ding, Ding...) Mucho Grasa attacks Lemay as No Habla Ingles and Trabajo Para Comida come up flanking the sides of Lemay. Grasa attempts another kick with his leg, but Lemay grabs him by the leg and lifts him up over his shoulder. Ingles tries to take out the leg of Lemay, but he is kicked aside. Lemay throws Grasa off his shoulder and into Comida, knocking both men down. He walks to the corner, grabbing the table off the turnbuckle. Burst - I have no idea how the rules have changed, do these mexicans count as one full person? Lemay sets up the table, but he's attacked from behind by Ingles. He smashes Lemay with three double axe handles to the back of the head, which lays Lemay out on the table. Ingles runs to the corner and hops up to the top rope. He jumps off, but Lemay rolls off the table as Ingles falls through it. Falcoon - That doesn't count since he fell through on his own. Lemay stands and he is met with a boot by Grasa, Comida attacks with a right but Lemay grabs both of their heads and slams them together before grabbing Mucho Grasa into a chokeslam position. He throws him into a table in the corner, cracking it in half but it doesn't break all the way through. He lifts up Comida and irish whips him into Grasa, breaking the table in half with the two mexicans. Missy Janson - The winner of this tables match...."DARK LORD" BRIAN LEMAYYYYY! A very bright flash of lightning which is immediately followed by an earth shattering clap of thunder. The lights go off immediately. Just then the lights flicker back on and off repeatedly. Finally the go back on and behind Lemay is a figure dressed in a trenchcoat. Lemay turns around and is immediately face to face with him. The figure stands there his face completely covered. Lemay suddenly has a look of horror in his eyes. The lights flicker again and the figure is gone! A voice over is heard "The Dark Lord will be cleansed of his tainted blood" Burst - ......What.. the hell was that crap? Falcoon - A warning it sounded like. Burst - Why does Lemay have a dark cloud over his head everywhere he goes? Falcoon - Because he's a Dark Lord. Burst - Pfffft. Falcoon - He is! Burst - Pffffttt... I'll believe that when an arm grows out of my ass and pinches me. Falcoon - Reguardless... Someone is coming for Lemay, and if it's like most of the people around here... he'll end up with a knife in his back.
The screen shows various OWF wrestlers, clip after clip as "Shock and Terror" by CKY plays in the background. A voice brings you the following: 20 Men... Many ladders... One will conquer. Let the shock guide you... The terror fill you... Who will survive.. The Wreckless Rumble? A cloud of smoke fills the screen and a single ladder lay steady in the ring before fading to black.
Missy Janson - The following contest is scheduled for one fall and PDA rules! Thrown away by Vast hits the pa system as the fans explode into thunderous boos. Missy Janson - Introducing first... From La Jolla California... Chris Green! Chris Green has a cocky arrogant smile on his face as he strolls down to the ring. Missy Janson - His opponent.. She's the current WoW Champion... From Anchorage Alaska.... Eclipse! The lights dim around the entrance way before "Shit Life" by Dope suddenly pours out of the PA system. The fans squint trying to see what's going on around the dark entrance way when suddenly a figure emerges from the darkness as if ripping itself out of it. A flowing, ragged black cloak envelops her body and head while a reflective, metal mask covers her face. Slowly she walks down the ramp towards the ring. With every step the light in front of her dims so that she is never walking in full illumination. After entering the ring she stops near the center while looking at her opponent with her masked head tilted upwards and to the side at a strange angle. (Ding, Ding, Ding...) Green quickly shoots himself off the ropes, Eclipse tries to catch him with a clothesline but Green ducks it and slides behind her... With a snap he tosses Eclipse across the ring with a release german suplex! Eclipse holds her neck on the mat and Green flips off the crowd who begin to boo him. He smiles and goes back to the attack, he lifts Eclipse by the head, suddenly she jolts and delivers a punch to Green's midsection. Green swings down at her, nailing her in the face with a right hand. She falls back to the mat and Green quickly slides outside. Burst - I could really give two shits and a fuck about this match. I just hope they both die. Falcoon - Two ruthless competitors duking it out. It might just happen. Burst - Good. Green reaches under the aprion and pulls out a conveniantly stashed butane torch and a lighter. He quickly turns the valve and sparks it. The flame is white and blue. He nods his head, approving of the weapon while sliding back into the ring. Falcoon - Look Nick! Fire! Burst - Fuck off.. fuck this.. I'm leaving. Falcoon - Nick sit down and watch. Burst - If she gets close to me with that flame I'm throwing you to her! Chris brings the torch closer to Eclipse who is standing and looking over the ropes on the opposite side of the ring. He approaches her slowly... Suddenly she turns around and swings wildly with a hammer! Green ducks up and throws the torch at her. The flame catches her pant leg but doesn't spread, only burns a hole. Green hits the mat and slides out of the ring, Eclipse leans over the ropes and throws the hammer at him, nailing him in the back of the head! Falcoon - Owwww. Green holds his head in pain while picking up the hammer. He staggers a bit, a little concussed from the blow to the head. He turns and throws the hammer by the handle into the ring, nailing Eclipse in the chest with it. Eclipse hits the mat winded and gasping for breath. Green lifts the aprion on this side of the ring and pulls out a spray can. Falcoon - Green is smarter then the average person. He hid items on each side of the ring. Green walks around the ring and slides in the side opposite of where Eclipse is kneeled. Green waits for Eclipse to run around before making a move, finally she stands and turns and Green charges at her! Eclipse pulls out the lit torch but Green puts the breaks on and stops before the connection.... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFF! The sound takes the entire arena off guard! Chris Green has his finger on the top of an aresol can spraying it at the torch flame. Eclipse's arm catches fire and she quickly throws the torch at Green. Green ducks it and Eclipse drops to the mat and pats out her flaming arm. Green lowers the can, revealing it's spray paint! He begins to paint the back of Eclipse's head. Burst - Kill her! Then you die too Green! I HATE YOU BOTH! Eclipse rolls out of the ring, but is covered with red spray paint. She reaches down and picks up the hammer then slides back into the ring.. Green smirks as he grabs the lit torch and sprays the can, increasing the distance of his torch! They circle each other, waiting for a weakness.... BOOOOOOOM! The aresol can explodes under the pressure in Green's hands. He's shaken and Eclipse seizes the moment.. She plants him with a hammer to the head and quickly covers.. 1...2...3. Missy Janson - Here is your winner.... EEECLIPSE! Burst - What a brutal bitch! God I hate her. Falcoon - Hard fought match for Green. Hopefully he'll be alright, he's gotta lumberjack next! Burst - Is it time to go yet? Falcoon - No. Well here comes the lumberjacks, thank god we don't have to sit through the intros! Missy Janson - The following contest is scheduled for a tag team lumberjack match for the OWF Tag Team Titles! A blistering chill floats through the crowd as the lights dim and a soft voice follows. PA System - It's these substandard motels on the (lalalalala) corner of 4th and Fremont.. Street. Missy Janson - Introducing first... From Phoenix Arizona.... Alexis... Cage! Just then a hard drum slam comes across and the dimmed lights flicker once. PA System - Appealing only because they are just that un-appealing. Suddenly a bass drum comes into play pounding at each half second as each word of "Build God, Then We'll Talk" By Panic At The Disco leaks out over the crowd. PA System - Any practiced catholic would cross themselves upon entering.. The lights continue to strobe around the arena, fading out with each hit of the bass drum, they look for something as the fans rise to their feet. PA System - The rooms have a hint of asbestos and maybe just a dash of formaldehyde! The fans scream as you see a figure emerge on the side of the OWF tron, it's kneeled down as the flashing and pulsing spotlights continue to search.. PA System - And the habit of decomposing right before your very (lalalala) eyes.... The spotlight dies and everything is silent in the arena, all but the sounds of cheering fans. Seconds pass before the spotlight returns on the side of the OWFtron nearly 10 foot in the air to show Alexis Cage standing with her arms in the air. ...Along with the people inside Suddenly Alexis drops down from the OWF-tron letting her skirt float up over her hips on the way down. He lands on the stage and screams "YEAH!" while throwing a fist into the air. The fans get more excited by the second! The arena lights back up as the theme continues to play on her way down to the ring, she waits outside the cage for her partner. Missy Janson - Her partner... PA System - Now you're doing the waltz with your murderer! Missy Janson - From Las Vegas Nevada... JJJJesse Willllliams! Just then, pyro shoots out from the stage and "Memphis Will Be Laid To Waste" by Norma Jean blares over the PA System. From the back, we see Jesse Williams walk out focused on the match ahead of him. He keeps his head straight as he jogs down the ramp. They meet up on the ramp and run to the ring, both sliding under the ropes at the same time. Missy Janson - And their opponents... They are the OWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!... The team of Angel and Plague... EXILE! The arena goes pitch black. For a few moments, nothing but the muttering of the crowd is heard, then suddenly a faint golden beam of light shines on the entrance ramp. The ominous sounds of the demonic choir in Damien resonate throughout the arena as the jumbotron flashes images of Angel and Plague in the ring, their decimated opponents,and brief glimpses of the word "Exile." Out of nowhere, comes the high pitched squealing of guitar feedback, and the ramp explodes and alights with flames going down both sides. Angel and Plague step out from behind the curtain, Plague with his guitar slung around his back, and Angel with his studded leather jacket gleaming in the light. A strobe light kicks in, and they make their way to the ramp in slow motion, Plague running, and Angel walking casually behind. Once in the ring, Plague sits cross-legged on the turnbuckle and Angel leans casually against the ropes as they wait for the match to begin. Falcoon - Here we go Nick. A huge showdown in the battle of Scarred versus Imperium. Burst - Imperium has the odds stacked, look, four members, to three....and then the mexican. Alexis steps to the outside of the ring, as does Angel as Williams and Plague circle around the ring. They lock up in the center, with Plague gaining the advantage and hiptossing Williams. Jesse gets right back up and charges Plague, pushing him into his own corner back first. He hits Plague with three closed right fists to the face, then rears back and knocks Angel off the apron to the floor. Caine and Kaige pounce, stomping Angel as soon as he hits the floor, prompting Green and Steel to come around and attack Kaige and Caine. Williams starts to stomp Plague, who has fallen to the mat as Angel finds time to pull himself back up onto the apron. The lumberjacks continue to fight on the outside as Williams picks up Plague and irish whips him across the ring. Plague smacks backfirst into the turnbuckle that Alexis is standing at as Williams walks over, tagging in Alexis. She goes to work as she climbs up and starts laying into Plague with right fists as the fans count along...1...2...3...4...5...Plague reaches up and pushes her off of him, as she falls back first to the ring. He pulls himself from the corner as Alexis hops right back up, she runs to him but is met with a clothesline that sends her to the mat in a heap. Plague stumbles across the ring, tagging in Angel. Falcoon - So far only a few minutes in, and every wrestler has now seen action. Angel walks over to the fallen Alexis, taunting her as she pushes herself up to all fours. Then out of nowhere, Angel headbutts Jesse and he falls to the floor. Trent Steel immediately rushes in, grabbing Williams by the hair and throwing him shoulder first into the steel steps, sending them flying. Williams lays on the ground as Kaige breaks his arm bar on Green and nails Steel with a double axe handle to the back of the head. Angel pulls Alexis up by her hair and immediately picks her up. As soon as he picks her up, he slams her right back down with a thunderous sidewalk slam. Angel covers Alexis...1...2, kickout. Burst - Angel is manhandling her, and all the mexican can do is lay on the floor outside! LAZY! Williams has now pulled himself up, and he slides into the ring. He stands up, going after Angel but the referee holds him back. He tells him to get back to his corner. Plague now gets into the ring as Angel and he lift Alexis up and nail her with a double suplex. Williams steps to the outside apron, as Plague slides back to the corner as if nothing happened as the referee turns around to find Angel covering Alexis again, he drops into place...1...2..kickout by Alexis. Falcoon - The fans are really starting to get behind Alexis now. Angel stands up, walking back to his corner and tagging in Plague. Alexis starts to crawl towards her corner, as Jesse extends his arm but Plague grabs her by the legs and drags her back into the middle of the ring. He turns her over, but he receives a boot to the face for his troubles, which staggers him a step backwards. Alexis reverse somersaults backwards to her corner from the mat, and tags in Jesse as the fans go nuts. He jumps into the ring, knocking Plague down with an elbow to the bridge of his nose. Angel comes into the ring and runs at Jesse, but he ends up on his back from backdrop. Plague jumps back up and attacks Williams from behind, knocking him down to the mat, but as soon as he does that he goes flying across the ring courtesy of a missle dropkick from the top rope by Alexis. Burst - Oh god Greg, look! On the outside, a man runs out from the back. He clotheslines Kaige down to the ground out of nowhere. Burst - WHO THE HELL IS THAT! The mat drags Kaige to the steel steps, and lays his leg on top of it. He grabs the other step which is near by and he lifts it into the air. Falcoon - NO DAMNIT! He drops it, as you can hear cracking inbetween the steps as Kaige screams in pain. Caine runs over to check on Kaige, but he is met by a elbow to the face by Steel. The man who attacked Kaige walks over to Missy and grabs a microphone, as he walks back to Kaige. Burst - He's interrupting the damn show! Man - Money in the Bank Productions...brings to you...The X - Factor...Curtis Williams! Burst - ANOTHER MEXICAN!? Curtis Williams - You'll be seeing me soon, Kaige. Curtis walks slowly up the ramp as the fans boo heavily. Caine takes Steel down with a body slam and he runs over to check on his fallen friend. EMT's come down with a gurney as they strap Kaige to it. Green is keeping an eye on the match, as Angel stands, grabbing Alexis in a waist lock and throwing her back over his shoulder, attempting a german suplex. She lands on her feet though, as Jesse gets to his feet. Jesse and Alexis lock eyes as Jesse goes for a leg sweep on Angel, as Alexis jumps up with a spinning wheel kick and both connect at the same time, knocking Angel down to the mat. Falcoon - What a move! Burst - The referee has lost control of this match. Alexis sees Kaige on the outside hurt, and she exits the ring. Falcoon - Where the hell is she going? Caine is now fighting with Steel, as Green ignores Alexis leaving the ring, he has his eyes on Williams. Jesse walks over to the ropes, telling Alexis to get back into the ring, when Plague nails Jesse with a forearm to the back of the head. The two start to brawl in the corner of the ring, as Alexis continues to check on Kaige. Burst - HOLY SHIT! Falcoon - What's the matter Nick. You seem like you've seen a ghost! Just then, Eclipse hops over the guard rail next to Alexis. She doesn't even have time to react before she is met by a steeled boot to the mouth, knocking her out cold. Burst - GOD DAMNIT! I HAVE THE RIGHT MIND TO GO OVER THERE AND PUNCH HER RIGHT IN THE OVARY! Falcoon - Nick, calm down. In the ring, Jesse subdues Plague with a side slam as he stands up to see Eclipse grabbing Alexis over her shoulder and walking up the ramp. Falcoon - WHERE IS SHE GOING! Williams exits the ring, going after Eclipse, but as soon as he does so Green attacks Jesse from behind. Jesse falls to the foot of the steel ramp, where Green jumps, nailing a leg drop on the back of Jesse's head. From the back, Electric Guitar runs out and tries to stop Eclipse. She rears back, headbutting him and re-breaking his nose again. EG holds his bloody face as Eclipse doesn't even have to drop Alexis, as she boots EG right in the midsection, sending him flying off the ramp and into the crowd about ten feet below. Burst - This is mayhem! Eclipse disappears with Alexis on her shoulder behind the curtains as EMT's check on EG. Green continues to attack Jesse with everything he has at the base of the ramp. Burst - It's now four on one Scarred, and one mexican. Falcoon - Where the hell is Eclipse taking Alexis? Burst - I have no idea, but it doesn't bold well for Alexis or Jesse right about now. Caine gets the upper hand of Steel, throwing him over the barricade and into the crowd as he pursues. Plague and Angel step outside of the ring, going after Jesse. Burst - Three on one mexican, now. Falcoon - THANKS, we can count. The three men pick Jesse up as Plague grabs him by the arm and irish whips him towards the side of the ring. He hops up to the apron, then to the second rope and moonsaults backwards, taking out the three members of Imperium. The fans go nuts as all four men are down on the outside. Plague stirs first, pulling himself into the ring as he lays on his back catching his breath. Angel and Williams stand up about the same time, and immediately come to blows. Williams gets the upper hand, until Green stands back up. Green double underhooks Williams from behind, and looks to be holding him for Angel to attack, but instead he throws him backwards nailing a Tiger Suplex on the steel ramp. Williams holds his neck and shoulder region as Angel and Green grab Williams, pulling him up the steel ramp. Falcoon - This is just no fair. They get up to the top where it levels off and they hold Jesse near the edge. The two take turns taking swings as Williams staggers closer to the edge. Green nails a right, then Angel nails a left as Williams struggles to keep his balance. Green nails another right as Williams almost slips, Angel nails a right of his own as Williams' left foot slips off the edge. Green then swings with another right, but Jesse ducks. The two switch places, as suddenly Williams superkicks Green sending him flying off the ramp. Falcoon - HOLY GOD! Green falls twenty feet to the floor, through the two OWFWrestling.com webcast tables. The fans go nuts in excitement as Angel just stares down at Green who immediately was unconscious after the superkick. Falcoon - Chris Green has just taken a serious fall! Get the camera off of him, damnit! EMT's rush to Green as Williams and Angel grapple up. Jesse kicks Angel in the stomach, and he trips over his own feet, rolling halfway down the ramp before smashing into the guardrail. Williams walks down the ramp, where he is met by Plague with a running knee that flips Williams over onto his back. Plague checks on Angel, and helps him up as the two grab Jesse by the hair and lift him to his feet. They roll him into the ring, where Plague follows him in while Angel climbs back onto the apron. Plague hooks his leg and covers him...1...2..kickout! Plague stands up, pulling Williams by the hair with him and he tags in Angel. He holds Jesse in a variation of an abdominal stretch, exposing his ribs, as Angel nails a sidekick directly to Jesse's midsection, sending him down to all fours coughing. Plague steps to the outside as Angel drops a sharp elbow to the spine of Williams, laying him out on his stomach. Immediately, he grabs the arm and head of Williams as he lays on the mat, and hooks his arm between his legs. He locks on the crippler crossface on Jesse as you can hear him scream in pain. The ropes are just out of reach with his free hand, as Angel rears back, cranking on his neck. Burst - Williams has to give up, he can't reach those ropes. He inches closer and closer to them, as he touches them with his finger tips. He wraps his hand around the bottom rope, but just then Plague kicks his arm, breaking the grasp on the ropes he had, as Angel pulls Jesse more into the middle of the ring, crossface still intact. Jesse yells in pain, but refuses to give up, and Angel realizes he can't crank back any further. He lets go of the crossface, and slams Jesse's face down into the mat. He immediately grabs for his shoulder, holding it in extreme pain. Angel stands, walking back to the corner and tagging in Plague. Falcoon - Exile is in firm control of this match. Plague lifts Williams up by his injured arm, bringing him in with a shoulder block to the shoulder. Williams collapses to his knees in pain, where he is met with a front dropkick right to the forehead that lays him out. Plague covers Williams...1...2..thr- kickout! Plague stands up, backing the referee into the corner as he yells at him about what Plague thinks was a slow count. Williams gets slowly up to his feet, staggering around as Plague turns around. Plague lifts his leg, attempting The Vaccine superkick, but Williams grabs the leg. He grabs his other arm around Plague and throws him over his head, nailing a T-Bone Suplex. Plague looks to be dazed as Williams quickly covers...1...2...kickout by Plague. Williams rolls off, crouching behind Plague. Plague turns around as he stands up, as Williams charges for a spear. Plague pulls the referee in the way, and Williams spears the referee. The ref gets tangled up in the ropes, and is hanging half inside and half outside of the ring. Williams stands up immediately, and has his hair grabbed by Plague as he nails a reverse DDT. Plague signals to Angel, and Angel hops down off the apron. He reaches under the ring, pulling out two wooden tables. He stacks them ontop of each other, and slides them into the ring, where Plague immediately reaches down, grabbing the top table and setting it up in the ring. Williams gets to one knee, as Plague comes back, laying a boot into his gut, knocking Jesse back down to the mat. Falcoon - This is looking very bad for Jesse. Burst - No kidding, 'Coon. He's in a bad way. Angel slides back into the ring, picking up the other table and setting it up as Plague picks up Williams. Jesse breaks from his grasp, and kicks Plague in the groin, bending him over. Jesse wraps his arm around Plagues head and lifts him up into the air and slams him face first through the table with an Impact DDT. Angel is still setting up the other table as Williams covers Plague. Falcoon - HE HAS IT WON! Burst - The referee is barely moving, poor timing on the mexicans part. The fans count the fall along with Williams. 1....2....3!...........4....5....6....7.. Burst - IT ONLY GOES TO THREE, DUMBASSES! Falcoon - I think they know, just showing their displeasure that the referee is down. Williams pushes himself off of the bleeding Plague, and walks to the referee. He wakes him up, pulling him up to his knees and smacking his face a few times. Williams leans back up, and as soon as he turns around he is kicked in the stomach by Angel. Angel tucks Jesse's head between his legs and lifts him up over his head. He holds Williams in the crucifix position, before dropping him through the table and pinning him. Falcoon - ANGEL ISNT THE LEGAL MAN! The referee crawls to the pin attempt...1...2...3! Falcoon - Damnit!!! Missy Janson - Your winners and STILL OWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONNNNSSS...EXXXXILLLE! Plague and Angel receive their belts and limp to the back in obvious pain. Burst - Score one for Imperium. Well, more than that since EG and Kaige are going to be out for a long time. Falcoon - It was a god damn Handicapped match, Nick. Angel's girltoy Eclipse was obviously instructed to take out Alexis! Burst - Speaking of Alexis, I wonder where she is! Falcoon - I have no idea, but, WE'RE OUT OF TIME! SEE YO- Prez DK - Hold your horses! Prez DK and Prez CJ walk out onto the ramp from the back, CJ holds a microphone in his right hand as the fans have a mixed reaction for the two. DK holds his hands at his side, with a microphone in his left hand. Falcoon - I guess we're going to overtime again! Burst - Maybe we'll find out who our new announcer is. Prez CJ - You were all promised another announcer, and we will give it to you. Burst - CUT TO THE CHASE...Chase! Prez DK - But first, let me attend to the mexican in the ring. Prez CJ - Leave him be! Prez DK - Nah, CJ. I'm going to announce something right here, right now. Williams is pulling himself up on the ropes, as DK turns to him. Prez DK - HEY JESSE! YOU'RE FIRED! Falcoon - WHAT THE HELL! Prez DK - LET ME INTRODUCE TO YOU...OWF...YOUR NEW THIRD ANNOUNCER...JESSE WILLIAMS! Falcoon - Are you serious?! Burst - THE MEXICANS REALLY ARE TAKING OUR JOBS! Prez CJ - You can't do that DK. Prez DK - Why can't I? Prez CJ - Because... Just then, "Hail To The Chief" starts to play over the PA System. An American flag waives proudly over the OWFTron. Burst - Oh MY GOD! PRESIDENT BUSH IS COMING! HOW DO I LOOK FALCOON?! Falcoon - Disgusting. Burst - I hate you. Falcoon - ...And fat. Prez DK - What the hell is the meaning of this? The words "OWF Contender Elect" come across the american flag on the OWFTron. Prez CJ - Don't you remember, we each select our candidate for the OWF Contender Elect....the winner of the election receives an automatic shot at the World Title! Prez DK - And? Prez CJ - Jesse Williams is my nominee. Prez DK - How does that stop me from firing him? Owner Meca - It doesn't... The OWFTron switches to a picture of Meca Blight in his office in the back. He has paper airplanes laying all over the table as he looks directly into the camera. Burst - What does this idiot want? Meca - But I can. Hiiiii CJ! DiK! I just have one thing I want to change about that statements you just had made. Firstly, Yes, we did announce there would be a new announcer... Falcoon - Okay...? Meca - ...But, it won't be Jesse Williams. He isn't first, and is still an OWF Wrestler. HIIII JESSE!! Meca waves at the camera, he looks into the lens as if waiting for a responce. Burst - Who is it gonna be?! Meca - Before I announce the third point of the square called the announcing team.. Burst - Dumbass.. Meca - DK, you and I have something to discuss first. You brought Imperium here? Prez DK - Yeah I did Meca. Meca - Well, since they have disrupted enough matches, and your constant lack of respect by your constant firings of wrestlers who do not deserve it, I have to take action. Falcoon - What is he babbling about? Meca - I have to make an example of you. Meca leans in. Meca - DK......you're fired. The fans go crazy and almost blow the roof off the arena with cheers. Burst - WHAT! Falcoon - OH MY GOD. HE JUST FIRED THE PRESIDENT! Diamond Kid - YOU CAN'T FIRE ME! I..I'M SCOTT FUCKING KIDD! Meca - I can and I just did..Chase Johnson is now sole President of the OWF! Burst - This is...crazy! Meca - And as for that final announcers spot....Hey DK, I hear you're looking for a job. Falcoon - NO WAY! Meca - Ladybugs and germs...meet the third member of the announcing team...THE DIAMOND KID!!!! Burst - I....don't know what to say! Falcoon - No time to! We have to go! The OWF logo spins and we fade to black. |
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