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- - -DARK MATCHES - - - Carlos Munson Defeated Shane Pickett VIA
pinfall The cameras take you into a court room to start the show. The american flag dangles over The Diamond Kid's head as we hear the bailiff make his announcement. Bailiff - All rise. Phoenix Civil Court is now in session. The honorable judge Susan Malm Presiding.. Chris Green - Oh great.. We got another judge judy. The courtroom is in awe as he makes the remark that was meant to be a whisper but came out a little louder then planned. Judge Malm - Excuse me sir.. Did you have something to say? Chris Green - No your honor He smirks with a grin over his face while DK bites his tongue to keep from laughing. She gives Green and evil glare. Judge Malm - Be seated. Everyone sits down as she slips her glasses on and looks over her first file. Judge Malm - First up is case number 2007-02-21344 the rights to a company. Now I understand I have four plaintiff's in this case. Who is the original owner? Prez DK - I am your honor. Judge Malm - Approach my bench Mr. Kidd is it? Prez DK - Yes ma'am. Judge Malm - "Your honor" is fine. Prez DK - Alllright. She pushes her glasses down and glares at him. Judge Malm - So this was your company? Prez DK - Yes ma'am.. I mean your honor. I was the sole creator of the organization. Judge Malm - What is this company? The OWF? What is that? Prez DK - Its a national wrestling federation. Judge Malm - Sports entertainment? Prez DK - No your honor. Its a wrestling buisness. Judge Malm - Same thing. None of that stuff is real. DK shrugs refusing to argue with her. Judge Malm - Did you sell this company or give away the legal rights? Prez DK - No your honor, I was arrested and sent away to prision for a couple years, in my absence I let a man by the name of Bryan Tann run the buisness. I never signed legal rights over to him, but he was listed as the power of attorney in the case of my absence. From there Mr. Tann signed my company over to a third party. Judge Malm - So right now.. Who all is battling for rights over this company? Approach the podium please. Chris Green stands up and walks to the podium. Suddenly from the back of the room Kozmo steps forward. DK sees him and is shocked as he walks towards the front of the room. Next from behind a guard, obviously hiding his suprise comes Belcher who also approaches the podium. Judge Malm - Who are you? Kozmo - The name's Kozmo. Judge Malm - Really.. We are on a real name basis in my courtroom, not wrestling names. Kozmo - No its my real name. Its Islamic. DK and Green glare at each other from across the room and can't help but chuckle at the seriousness in Kozmo's voice. DK shakes his head and looks at the ground trying to to laugh knowing that Kozmo has a real name. Judge Malm - Alright Kozmo it is.. Do you have a last name Kozmo? Kozmo - Nope... Its against my religion and stuff. He says it with charm as he smiles at her. Judge Malm - Well ok then. And who are you. Chris Green - I'm OWF owner Chris Green. Judge Malm - And you... Belcher - Belcher. He runs with Kozmo's joke. Judge Malm - Belcher? Belcher - Yes your honor. My name is Belcher. No last name. Myself and Kozmo came from the same religion. She lays her glasses on the bench and shakes her head while rubbing her eyes. Judge Malm - You know what. I'm not even gonna start. I've looked this case file over gentlemen and if none of you can provide me legal documentation that states you own this company then I'm just going to have you give me statements and I'll make the decision. Mr Green tell me your side of the story. Why do you desurve the rights to this company? Chris Green - Why should I run the OWF? Why should I own the OWF? Judge Malm - Mr Green lower your voice in my court room or I will hold you in contempt! Chris Green - Your honor... To put it simply DIAMOND KID is a joke thats why. I am tired of him getting everyone's hopes up only to burst their bubble and then the OWF dies again. He has done it countless times. These are peoples lives he's toying with. My point was in June of 2006 I shut the fed down to officially END THE OWF as a whole. Suddenly I turn on the tv and see a commercial advertising the OWF'S return? I never gave up the rights EVER. I go into the ring I fight DK and BEAT HIM! Kozmo, DK'S dearest friend turns on him to count it. When you think OWF you think KOZMO AND DK. So how is KOZMO not an official referee? Its an utter disgrace. So I should be given the rights to the federation and I should be given MY GOD GIVEN RIGHT to CLOSE THE FEDERATION FOREVER! Belcher had his own motives and really didn't realize my true intentions. I didn't want to run the fed WITH HIM. I wanted there to be NO FED TO RUN. Thats my plea. Green's face is red with anger as he finishes his statement then calms himself. Judge Malm - Well alright then. Take your seat Mr Green. Mr. Kozmo lets hear your side of the story. Kozmo - Oh its just Kozmo... No Mr.! Permission to approach the bench. Kozmo reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. Judge Malm - Just hand it to the bailiff. Kozmo hands it over and the judge examines it. Judge Malm - So this states that in 2001 you where given partical ownership of the company by Scott Kidd? Kozmo - Thats correct. Judge Malm - Its noterized. Mr Kidd is this your signature. Prez DK - Yes your honor. Judge Malm - It doesn't say a percentage. It just says part ownership. Alright. Take your seat Kozmo. Kozmo - Oh I'm already sitting He blurts out. Judge Malm - Mr Belcher. Lets hear your statement. Belcher - Your honor, the reason I'm here is two fold. One Mr. Green and myself had a binding contract that stated if Mr Green won the PPV match he would split ownership with me 50-50. However, as seen at the PPV he attempted to dissolve our agreement by having me attacked by one Mr. Kozmo. However, the contract is binding and Mr Green won said match, therefore, I am the rightful owner of half of the Outsider Wrestling Federation. Secondly, I am the most qualified individual here. Let the record show that I am the only federation owner to be mentioned on a National Radio Program and a former owner of a federation that was deemed to be the best in the Ultimate Hardcore Wrestling. Due to those reasons I believe I currently own half of the OWF but believe I should be the full owner of this federation. The OWF has suffered under all of the previous owners and it is time for a change. There is only one way to rule and that's the Belcher way. Thank you. Judge Malm - You know what. I don't even wanna see your contracts, I don't wanna see anymore paperwork, I don't wanna hear anymore testimony! You four men desurve each other. You've truly entertained me today! So whats good for my courtroom must be good for tv right? In the best interest of your company I am granting each of you 25% legal ownership of the Outsider Wrestling Federation INC. Whatever you want to do with it after you leave this courtroom is up to you! If you wanna buy each other out I don't care.. Case closed.. Get out! Prez DK - But your hon... Judge Malm - CASE CLOSED! She slams her gaffle down and the baliff's escort them towards the correct doors. Kozmo and DK are in front, Kozmo quickly kicks DK's foot out from under him and DK falls face first to the ground! Kozmo laughs as DK tries to stand up. Judge Malm slams her gaffle down again and points. DK gets up and spears Kozmo into Green and Belcher. All four men are on the ground and it becomes a slug fest! Baliff's and two state police officers quickly pull it apart along with the help from others awaiting their court dates. Judge Malm - I WANT ALL FOUR OF THESE MEN LOCKED UP AND HELD FOR CONTEMPT OF COURT! Green is pushes face first into the carpet and placed into handcuffs. The rest are detained the same way. The OWF logo spins and we head live to Reno, NV! -- SHOW INTRO -- This is a new generation.. A new breed of talent... Whispers fill your ears as the intro to music begins to play. They fade as the singing begins. If you feel... So empty.. So used up.. So
Let Down.. If you feel so angry.. So ripped off.. So
stepped on.. Your not the.. Only one. Clips of the new breed of OWF as well as old footage passes over your screen as "Riot" by 3 Days Grace plays in the background. The opening segment of Addiction grabs your attention and the theme itself becomes addicting. -- LIVE HOUR 1 -- Falcoon - AHOOOOOO! Fireworks blast in the entrance way as Gordie Falcoon's voice hits the air waves! Signs and banners are hung from all over the sold out arena. The cameras direct their attention to a sign that says "WoW! What a Place!" another says "I paid to see the OWF not these bitches!" We go to ringside where Gordie Falcoon is sitting next to... Toby Wilks? It becomes apparent that Nick Burst isn't in his normal chair for commentary. Wilks - 867-5309! Thats JENNY! Thats JENNY's number! Falcoon - Pfff.. Woah what the fffffffff... phhhhh.... fffff.... fuck.. YOU AREN'T NICK... AT ALL! Wilks - Your correct sir! Hello everyone and welcome to WoW Addiction! This is lead commentator Toby Wilks along with.. Falcoon - Woah wait a fuckin minute. Lead commentator? No no no my friend. Your the gay commentator. Nick Burst is the lead! Wilks - Nick Burst is no longer employed with this organization! Falcoon - No he's not employed with WoW.. This is a WoW event and you caught a lucky break getting to do play by play in it. When OWF is back.. And it will be NEXT MONDAY you will be a reporter again! Ahooo! Wilks - Nick quit. He tore his contract up 3 hours ago before the show came on. You'd realise that if you where on time. Falcoon - No no no. Your dirty. You dirty liar. Wilks - No it happened! I was in the office when it happened. Nick got pissed off and said since Prissy was running the show he wanted nothing to do with it. Only he used a few other words that I don't say. Falcoon - Did he say (CENSORED!)? Wilks - Yep and a few others. Falcoon - Well this fuckin blows. So I'm stuck with you? Don't even think about turning our monitors to the Lifetime channel! Wilks - What they have good movies! Anywho, as we just saw moments ago that was the footage from this mornings legal dispute in Phoenix Arizona. The judge did what she fealt was right and parted out the ownership to the OWF. Falcoon - Well I thi.... PA System - BAD TO THE BONE! A guitar interupts Falcoon as "Bad to the Bone" by George Thorogood hits the PA. Nick Burst steps out from behind the curtain with a microphone in his hands. The crowd embraces the legendary commentator as he waves out to the people then begins to speak. Nick Burst - Hey OWFites. I was walking out of the arena tonight shortly after tearing my contract into shreds and I thought.. Now would it be right for me to leave my fans hanging? I'm out here tonight to say goodbye. Goodbye to 9 years of this wonderful place! The fans are speachless. Nick Burst - Ya know, I've been through alot of shit with this company! And I honestly thought it was done last Sunday. I thought for sure Chris Green was going to just close the doors and nothing would be said. Then I got a small ray of hope and it boosted me up! I found out that the rights where going to court! And well... You all saw the footage. And I FUCKING REFUSE to work for an ASSHOLE like Chris Green! I oped out of my contract because Chris Green is a spineless piece of shit! "Burst Burst Burst" The crowd screams as he finishes his heartful ranting. Nick Burst - So OWF.. This is Nick Burst... Signing off one last time. The chant comes to a slow end as they are left speachless again. He lays the mic down on the stage and with a tear in his eye he waves to the crowd before walking away from 9 years of dedication. The fans applaud him on his way out. Falcoon - Are you crying? Wilks - Yah. A little bit. Falcoon - Oh ho ho.. He HATED YOU! Wilks - But that was history. Nick Burst is gone... The commentators are silent as they take it all in. Falcoon - Nick I only worked with you for a short time but your a good man and I wish you the best. Wilks - I can't believe he left...... I can't do this right now. Toby Wilks throws his head set down and walks towards the ramp. Falcoon - Looks like its just me for commentary tonight. I guess we'll go to the first match of the night. Missy Janson - The following match is scheduled for a WoW PDA match! This match was originally intended on being held in the Reno Sheriff's dept but the Reno police pulled the rights this morning. The fans boo and a "FUCK THE PO-LICE" chant starts. Missy Janson - So this match has been altered and will take place in the backstage area! Introducing the contests.. Joann Summers and Alexis Cage! (Ding, Ding, Ding...) The cameras cut backstage instantly. Alexis has one of her crutches on her shoulder in swinging position as the bell rings. Alexis swings her crutch but Joann ducks it and kicks Alexis in the back. Alexis falls to one knee but strides through the pain and gets back to her feet. Joann grabs her by the back of the head and throws her into a door. Alexis clashes against the metal door and holds her head as she hits the ground. Joann is ruthless in her attack as she kicks Alexis into the ground. Alexis grabs Joann's foot and pulls it out from under her. Joann crashes to the ground and Alexis hobbles to her feet in pain. Alexis bends down and grabs her crutch, She smacks Joann in the back with it! Falcoon - These two beautiful women are two of the most extreme people I have ever seen. They just don't stop! Joann climbs to her feet then clotheslines Alexis! The two women hit the ground but Joann is back up quickly. She grabs Alexis by the hair and drags her down the hallway through the back. Alexis struggles to get free as hair rips out in clumps! They reach the end of the hallway and are into the lobby, Joann reaches down to scoop Alexis up, Alexis lifts her foot up over her head and kicks Joann in the teeth. Joann stumbles backwards then instantly takes a step forward and delivers a standing moonsault! Falcoon - Oh what a move! Joann gets back to her feet, she lifts Alexis by the head.. Alexis delivers a quick shoulder to the gut of Joann! Alexis keeps pushing and the two women travel backwards in a spearing motion. They go all the way to entrance 31C and stumble down the stairwell!! Falcoon - Oh man! Ouch! They're in the upper pier of the arena now. They are tangled up at the bottom of the stairs. Both slow to move. Referee Kiven catches up to them just as Joann rolls over Alexis.. 1...2.. Alexis manages to kick out! Joann pulls herself up, security seperates the fans that are rushing towards them. Joann backs up and waits for Alexis to get to her feet.. Running bicycle kick! Falcoon - Its called the Cruel Summer and I love that move! Kissens - This will be the first win for Joann if she makes this pin. She nails the Cruel Summer then makes the pin.. 1...2...3! Kissens - And she does it! Missy Janson - Here is your winner... Joann Summers! Joann celebrates her victory and the fans embrace her warmly. Suddenly Spaz comes through the upper level entry and grabs Joann by the belt loop. Falcoon - What the hell is he doing? Spaz no! Spaz don't do it! Joann tries to grab the railing but can't keep her grip. Spaz dumps her over the top peir onto the fans below! Falcoon - Spaz your taking this too far! You could kill her! NO! OH MY GOD! The fans catch her and body surf her around the arena! They surf her down to ringside where she climbs over the guard rail, she looks up to the pier that she fell from and notices that Spaz is gone. Falcoon - Thank god we have dedicated fans. They pay my paycheck and save our wrestlers from death! Jackie Kissens takes a seat at ringside with Falcoon. Kissens - I'm your special guest commentator tonight. Falcoon - For one your not special. For two.. Nobody invited you so your not a guest! And three... You smell like rotten tuna. Move over! Kissens - You know if I where running this show tonight it would be alot more exciting! Falcoon - Someone just got thrown over a balcony and crowd surfed through the arena.. I think the fans are getting their money's worth! Kissens - Yeah yeah whatever.. The scene cuts to backstage. The camera is facing a closed door with a label "Executive Office" You can hear part of the conversation inside. Voice 1- ...and I can't jeopardize that happening. I used to think that I had no greater desire than to be an OWF superstar, but I am realizing that...well, it's number two, now, and I only have room for number one... Voice 2 - Well, just wait a second, Brad. You're one of the better guys I have. I was really happy to sign you on...and you are techinically still under contract. Voice 1 - You can kiss my contractually obligated ass, Prissy! This is not negotiable. You can either accept my resignation, or you can wonder what the hell happened to your champion, because I am NOT going to fight another match! You are NOT what is important to me...at least, not anymore. The door swings open and Sangre, unmasked, storms out of the room. The scene cuts back to ringside. Kissens - I can't believe I missed that story! What the hell! Falcoon - Well Sangre and Tad won the tag titles last week at The Clash and now it appears Sangre isn't fufilling his contract obligations. Kissens - Well if Prissy wasn't the one running the show I bet he wouldn't have a problem! Falcoon - Oh yeah because you did such a grrrreat job. Kissens - Better than she could do. Falcoon - Uh huh... In the backstage arena LEAD reporter Garrett Greene is standing by with Greg Jackson! In the backstage area, we see Garrett Greene with Greg Jackson. Greg doesn’t seem too interested in paying attention to Garrett, seeming kind of jittery as he looks around. Garrett Greene - Greg, you were at Clash of Champions. You didn’t win at Clash of Champions. You lost at Clash of Champions. How do you feel about Clash of Champions? Greg Jackson - …Fuck you’re terrible at this! Your uncle would be rolling around in his grave if he heard how bad you were! Garrett Greene - Actually, he’s not dead. AT ALL Greg Jackson - Yes he is, I killed him… gimme that! Greg snatches Garrett’s microphone. Greg Jackson - Of course I’m not happy about Clash of Champions! Everybody knows I got fucked over, and that I should be the World Champion! But apparently, OWF doesn’t like buying cages that effectively keep people OUT of them… I worked my ass off to win that match, I put it all on the line. I jumped off that cage for the win, for the OWF title, and for the fans. And ya know what I see here tonight?! “Angel” signs all over the crowd! Are you fucking kidding me?! This place should be COVERED with signs saying how I got screwed! Greg pauses as he looks over to Garrett Green momentarily. Garrett has nothing to say. Greg Jackson - That makes me sick. You know what else makes me sick? Watching that main event last Sunday and realizing three outta four of them were Hells Fire! If I was in attendance, I’d have left the building and asked for my damn money back. And now we gotta watch Hells Fire in the main event again tonight! Garrett Greene - Actually, Spaz left Hells Fi- Greg Jackson - Shut the FUCK up! And where am I tonight? I get five minutes, TOPS, to talk to this jackass, Garrett Greene. At this point, Garrett makes sure to avoid eye contact with Greg. Greg Jackson - This is exactly what happened last time. I lost to Jesse Williams at the last Road to Glory. And you know what happened? I was quickly forgotten about in favour of Shaun Stewart! Now, it’s Plague. And after that, as if that’s not bad enough, I got some competition in the African American demographic. Bryan Tann’s back! So fucking WHAT! This is probably for the best, because if the fans wanna forget about me? If management wants to forget about me? Well I guess that means I can just forget about them! I can focus more on doing what needs to be done instead of what everyone else would like to see! So throw Angel or Plague at me! Bring Angry Cannon Bryan Tann! Whoever, cause from here on out, Greg Jackson is taking on all comers cause I don’t back down from anyone! Suddenly, Ozric appears on screen… he’s a clown… a scary looking clown. Greg Jackson - What the fuck… Ozric then blows up a balloon and begins twisting it. Greg Jackson - Yo, put the balloon away dawg… Ozric finishes, making what appears to be a giraffe. He then hands it to Greg and gives Greg a menacing smile. Garrett Greene - YAY! Its a cat! Garrett claps his hands. Greg Jackson - It’s you… it’s the clown from my nightmares… YOU’RE REAL! Ozric - I’m Ozric! Ozric then laughs as only a clown can laugh! Greg Jackson - AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Greg drops the microphone and balloon giraffe, terrified, and runs down the hallway in fear. Greg Jackson - Go back to hell! Just leave me alone you bastard clown! Falcoon - Who's scared of clowns? I mean come on! Kissens - That guy is a fucking creep! Falcoon - Hey now.. come on! Hes a clown! Kissens - He's not even a good clown. Hes scary looking. Falcoon - Jackie... Who said women can do commentary? Kissens - Would you rather sit next to Toby Wilks? Falcoon - Point taken. Lets go to the ring. Missy Janson - The following contest is scheduled for a cruiserweight title match! Introducing first.. PA System - Kinda always knew I'd end up your ex-girlfriend Missy Janson - The challenger! From Calgary, Alberta, Canada... Amanda Davis! Pouting ska-pop hooks embed in the audience's ears, and the crowd begins to sway as the Grapple Princess herself, heir to Canada's greatest wrestling legacy, Amanda Davis steps through the curtains. She sways seductively side to side, despite her tomboyish jeans and T-shirt attire, as she makes her way down the ramp, slapping hands and enduring the very occasional heckling from a Piter Svoboda fan. In the ring, she makes her way to her corner and stretches out. Missy Janson - And her opponent.. He is the OWF Cruiserweight champion... DIOS! The lights begin to dim as "Princes of the Universe" by Queen begins to play over the PA. A thick smokescreen eminates in front of the curtain at the top of the ramp. El Luchador Dios emerges from the wall of smoke and raises his arms to the boos of the crowd. After a few obscene hand-gestures, Dios begins to walk down the ramp. He stops midway down the ramp and rips up a small boy's poster and laughs wickedly. This triggers another wave of boos from the audience. Dios slides into the ring and hops on one of the turn buckles. He raises his arms before flipping off the crowd. He then backflips off the turnbuckle and prepares for his match. Falcoon - Alright! Since Nick isn't here I'll say it.. A woman and a Mexican fighting for an OWF title. What has this place come to? That one is for you buddy.... AHOOOOOO! Kissens - Your obnoxious. Falcoon - Your a slut but I don't say it on the air! (Ding, Ding, Ding...) Amanda and Dios circle each other and lock up as the bell dings. Dios gets the better of her and pushes her down to one knee. Davis uses all her strength and pushes him off. Dios bounces right back and flies forward with a forearm to the face. She falls to the mat and Dios tries to get a pin but her shoulder is up off the mat before the ref can get in position and the 1 count can be made. Dios is gets to his feet and pulls Davis up by her hair. She kicks him in the stomach and he releases her hair. She hits him in the face and spins around and catches him in the face with the heel of her foot as she kicks. Dios falls to the mat and is pinned. 1... Kickout by Dios! He rolls Davis off of himself. Falcoon - That was a hellacious boot. Looks like Dios is busted open. Dios jumps to his feet and knocks her feet out from under her as she falls on her back to the mat! Dios gets up and runs over her as she rolls on her stomach. Dios bounces off the ropes and Amanda jumps up and does a cross body block on Dios, but he catches her and slams her down. He covers 1...2..Foot on the ropes. Falcoon - Another near fall and Dios almost retains his title. Dios gets back up, Davis pulls herself up, Dios shoots himself off the ropes and leaps into the air! He catches Davis by the head in the air... Tornado IMPLANT DDT! Falcoon - That one rocked Davis! Dios covers.. 1...2... Davis kicks out! Kissens - I knew she was something special and thats why I signed this girl! She reached down deep to kick out of this one. Amanda rolls out from under Dios and tries to catch her breath. Dios gets back to his feet and adjusts his mask. He shoots himself into the ropes once again, he bounces off does a flip in mid air then lands in a belly splash on Davis! He pins her again.. 1...2... Davis gets her foot on the ropes! Falcoon - I thought she was done. Kissens - She has heart and she's gonna keep fighting! Dios pulls up Davis and tosses her into the turnbuckle. He backs up and runs towards her.. Davis moves and Dios lands legs first and flips upside down on the top turnbuckle! Amanda Davis gets her energy roaring. Dios unhooks himself and gets to his feet, The fans get behind Amanda as she throws Dios into the ropes.. She runs towards him and they collide in mid air with the same cross body block! Falcoon - That impact was harsh! The referee begins his 10 count.. 1...2...3...4...5...6... Dios stirs first, Amanda is only second behind him. She gets to her feet just as Dios does. Dios grabs her by the hand, Amanda flips herself out of his grab and lands back on her feet. Dios comes in and attempts a backhand. Davis cringes as Dios instead grabs her by the throat, he pushes her by the throat and she falls to the mat. Falcoon - Ouch! That will take the breath away from anyone. Kissens - Here comes the MVP of the OWF! Mike Van Pelt runs down to the ringside area with a chair in his hand. He goes unnoticed by everyone involved in the match. Dios backs away from Amanda as the referee tends to her to see if she is going to continue. Dios swings himself into the back ropes and CRACK. MVP just nails Dios in the back of the head with the chair. Amanda pushes the referee off, still a little wobbly but sees Dios stumbling towards her. She slowly walks over to see Dios stumble forward, she catches him on the way down and the crossface chickenwing. The referee drops and raises Dios hand three times and it falls. The bell rings and Amanda's hand is raised. Missy Janson - Here is your winner and NEW OWF Cruiserweight champion... AMANDA DAVIS! Falcoon - Amanda has no idea that MVP came down and helped her! Amanda's hand is held up in the ring and she hugs her cruiserweight title. The fans cheer her on. She looks up the ramp and notices MVP standing with a chair in his hands. He points to her and she's instantly taken by what has happened. Kissens - I think they are working together. Falcoon - Did you not see her expression? She had no idea. Amanda leans down to help Dios up, he pushes her off and slides out of the ring. He quickly makes his way up the ramp and through the curtain. The cameras follow Dios through the back. Falcoon - I'd high tail it out if I where MVP right now. Kissens - Gordie you have no idea what your talking about. MVP has been around the OWF for a LONG time. Hes crafty! Dios catches up with an unsuspecting MVP and charges him from behind knocking him on the ground! Dios grabs MVP by the head and throws him into the side of the concession stand! Falcoon - Give him what he desurves Dios! MVP is busted open but fights back, he strike Dios with a right hand! Kissens - Careful MVP you might slide off his greasy back like a slip and slide! That's for you Nick. Falcoon - Zzzzaaaaa! The two men roll around the backstage area. Draco is walking towards the rest rooms when he is slammed into by both men who fall ontop of him! Falcoon - I think they flattened Draco! Draco pushes them off then punches MVP in the side of the head. Dios swings on Draco but Draco dodges it on the ground and Dios smashes his fist on the cement. Prissy followed by a group of security guards pull the three men apart. Prissy - Thats enough of this crap! If you three want to fight so bad then I'll sign you a match! I don't have the airtime to have you guys rolling around in the backstage area this week. BUT Next week on Addiction.. It will be MVP Vs Dios streetfight. With a special guest referee... DRACO! Its a done deal. Seperate them and take them to their lockerrooms! In the background we see Alexis Cage limping past on her crutches. Kara smoothly kicks it out from under her as Alexis walks by. It catches Prissy's eye and she imediantly goes irrate. Prissy - HEY! You.. Kara. Kara stops and turns to look at Prissy. She looks like a kid with her hand caught in a cookie jar. Prissy - Yah you! You think your hot shit don't cha? Well I'll tell you what.. You wanna pick on someone who's injured for your own amusement? Someone with a HANDICAP! I don't think so! Not on MY show! Next week.. It's going to be Kara Vs.. Tara Headoff.... AND Dixie Wrecked! The fans cheer hearing the announcement as Kara walks off mad and Prissy helps Alexis to her feet. Kissens - Thats the best you can come up with? That sounds like a snooze fest Falcoon - Your one jealous bitch huh. Kissens - No I was just saying. Falcoon - Oh yeah.. What would you have done? Kissens - Uhhh... Falcoon - Exactly! NOW EAT IT! The scene cuts to the locker room area. A door is open, and you can see a paper sign - "N.U.T.S. Locker Room" on the door. Sangre is sitting on a bench, unmasked, but another man is there, his identity blocked by the door. Sangre - ...you get how it's worth it? I mean, you've never had this choice... Other Guy - ...that I know of... Sangre - ...yeah, anyway...you don't understand how this takes precedence, but...it just...does. Other Guy - So what about Tad? Sangre - what about him? Other Guy - Are you gonna just leave him to the wolves? Didn't you promise him that you'd help him be one of the best? Sangre - Well, what do you expect me to do? Other Guy - ...well...there's this thing... Sangre - What? Though you can only see the other guy's hands and arms, you see them reach into a black duffel bag sitting beside Sangre. He pulls out a championship belt. It appears to look like the old ASW United States Tag Team Title belt, but masking tape is covering the ASW logo, and "OWF" is crudely written in thick, black marker on the tape. Sangre - ...you're serious, aren't you? Other Guy - ...it is...his...DESTINY! Sangre - ...yeah well, what can I say? With your help, he's been one of the best tag team wrestlers ASW and OWF have seen in the past few years. I don't have a problem putting him back in your care. Either way, I am going to go take a walk to clear my head. I gotta work off these nerves. I'll see you around. Other Guy - Good-night! Sangre stops and looks up at the guy, then starts to laugh as he stands up and begins to walk out. As Sangre walks out, Tad O. Minor walks in. He sees the guy, who is still out of camera view, and stops suddenly. Tad O. Minor - What...what are YOU doing here? The other guy again reaches into the black bag, and pulls out...a white Michael Jackson mask? Other Guy - As someone once said, I'm getting the band back together. Tad O. Minor - ...you must be... Other Guy - Yep. As of now...I am. The cameras cut back to ringside, where Falcoon and Kissens appear to be confused. Falcoon - So, we have a strange figure, a title belt that appears to have been made from something else, and a Michael Jackson mask post-skin bleach... Kissens - Throw in Dominator and it sounds like another night at the Kremlin household! Falcoon - Zzzaaa! Oh god that was good. -- LIVE HOUR 2 -- Missy Janson - The following contest.. Falcoon - Watch this... Missy Janson - Is scheduled for a Network title match! Falcoon - Hey Uncle Bo! Uncle Bo - YOOOO! Falcoon - Come join us in commentary! Kissens - NOOOOO! Falcoon - Shh-BITCH!! A very large man with a lazy eye stands up and wobbles over to the commentary table. Falcoon - Hey BO! Who's gonna ring the bell? Missy Janson - Introducing first.. The challenger from Margate England.. Electric Guitar! "Killing in name of" by Rage Against the Machine hits the sound system as the lights go black and the screen shows the words "Experience Greatness!" which flash in yellow on a black background. Then a video of various suplexes and powerbombs comes on, all performed by the electric Guitar. The curtain moves and he appears at the top of the runway, holding his arms up for all to see. The crowd go wild as the Electric Guitar shuffles the collar on his leather jacket and then struts down the ramp before rolling into the ring. He takes off his jacket and throws it outside to the announcers table and the walks to a corner to climb the turnbuckle and raise his arms to his fans. Chants of "E.G... E.G..." fill the arena on top of the music. A wide arrogant smile crosses his face, and then he jumps down and hops on the spot in anticipation for his match to begin. Falcoon - Here ya go Bo. Just put this headset on. Uncle Bo - Yo do I just put it on. Falcoon - HAHAHA Yeah Bo just put the god damn thing on! Uncle Bo - hubbbbylaa no how it works! Falcoon - AAHAHAHAA! Folks this is Uncle Bo our time keeper. Hes the guy that dings the bell. Missy Janson - And the opponent.. He is the OWF Network Champion! From West Monroe, LA... Overdose! The arena goes dark and "Freak On A Leash" by Korn starts to blast over the PA. The lights starts to flash on and off as Overdose walks out to the top of the ramp. The lights come on and he is standing there with his arm's streached out wide. He looks over the crowd and slowly walks down to the ring. He slides in and sets down in the corner. Uncle Bo - Yo Jackie.. whhhhouwanna go out sometime? Kissens - God no! Falcoon - Bo! She likes you! Uncle Bo - Who doesn't? Falcoon - AHHHHAAAA! Kissens - Bo your disgusting. Whats wrong with your eye? I can't tell if your looking at me of the guy behind you. Uncle Bo - Whattta Huublaya eye! Falcoon - Its lazy like him! Kissens - Zzaaaaa! Falcoon - Don't do that.. Thats what I do. (Ding, Ding, Ding..) Uncle Bo - YOOOO! Who's ringin my bell! Falcoon - Get em Bo! Uncle Bo - Idddhubawant.. touch it! EG is still sore from a week ago, the bell rings and Overdose goes instantly for EG's leg he dives and spears EG's knee cap and knocks it out from under him. EG's leg twists behind him and he wrenchs in pain. Suddenly Bryan Tann darts down the ramp way and hits the ring! He instantly goes right for Overdose, he kicks him in the stomach.. The Aftermath!! EG slides out of the ring unnoticed as he holds his knee in pain. Falcoon - Bryan Tann has just taken out the Network champion! Kissens - Ring the bell... Missy Janson - This match has been ruled a double disqualification! Brian Lemay darts down the ramp, he slides under the bottom rope and spears Bryan Tann! Falcoon - Holy shit! He looked like a freakin dart! Lemay mounts Tann and begins swinging wildly. Overdose jumps into the mix and lays boots to Tann. Lemay instantly springs up and spears Overdose down! Tann slides out of the ring. Falcoon - He's taking your chair Bo! GET EM BO! Uncle Bo - YO! My chair! You think you can jussss take whatever you VULCAN want? Tann turns and looks at Bo. Bo quickly puts his arms in the arm and looks away. Falcoon - Awww your pits stink Bo! Put your arms down.. Ugh. Tann slides back into the ring with the chair. Overdose quickly slides out! Tann swings it at the fallen Lemay but Lemay kicks as hard as he can, kicks the chair back into Tann's face! Lemay quickly gets out of the ring and stumbles over the guard rail. Tann remains on his feet despite the backfire from the attempted chair shot. The fans scream as Tann points his "BMF" shirt. Uncle Bo - Tann cleaned house. Tttthats the kinda guy you want on yer team right there. Falcoon - Bryan Tann.. You screwed all of these fans and they are still cheering for you. Falcoon turns and looks at Kissens then grins. Falcoon - He screwed you too! AAHAHA I forgot about that! Kissens - ..... It was a long time ago. Falcoon - AND ITS STILL FUNNY! Garrett Greene stands in the back getting prepared for his next interview with the new PDA Champion. We cut to a flashback of what happened after the elimination match. ------ Plague dives off the top turnbuckle just as Angel is lifting Daemon up into a powerbomb position... Plague delivers a neckbreaker on the way down! Plague pins Daemon.. Spaz climbs back into the ring and leaps on both of them! 1...2...3! Missy Janson - Daemon Hawk has been eliminated! And your new PDA champion... Spaz! ------ Falcoon - We understand that Garrett Greene has "The Misfit" with him. Kissens - Spaz has clearly snapped turning on his own friends. Toby stands alone in front of the camera holding a mic. He has some fear in his eyes because he doesn't know what to expect from Spaz. Greene - I am standing here with a man that turned on his friends. What a jerk! Spaz what do you have to say. The camera pulls back revealing the new PDA champion. Spaz smokes a cigarette and stares into the camera with a look of rage in his eyes. Greene - Spaz i think the question that everyone has on their mind is why did you resort to attacking Plague? Spaz - Fuck you... I am sick and god damn tired of hearing people stick up for him. I know him also as Rob. Hell i thought i was going to last longer in that fucking match and of course in some miraculous twist of fucking fate Plague out lasts me, even though that fucker playing with the enemy. Plague goes into a coma, then again he fucking wakes up and surpasses The Misfit. Toby you want to know why I more or less slapped Plague in the face? Because all the fucking hype is on Angel and Plague. I come here before both of them and there faces are all over the fucking TV. I fought EG last night and some little prick with some sort of fucking goal takes it upon himself to help me out. Greene - Why... Do you think that.. Uhhh. That one guy.. You can hear someone whisper his name to Greene. Greene - Who? He looks off scene to the person as they shout out "Lemay" Greene - Lemay? Why do you think Lemay helped you? Spaz - Greene. It is plain and simple why that cunt helped me out. He wanted to prove something to the world and to me that he could take out EG. He wanted to do something that would make a name for himself and he was hoping that attacking Guitar from behind would help. But what that little shit failed to understand is I don't need his fucking help. I could take out EG anytime i fucking wanted to. Greene - What is going to happen with Hells Fire? Spaz - Hell's Fire, well it is easy to see that HF is done for now. With the actions of Plague and Angel there is no HF right now until we figure all this shit out. Plague has to understand that in my 9 year career i have no chance of keeping friends, i am better at keeping my enemies on a tight leash. As for Angel, part of me his happy that he won, but the other part is filled with a new found sense of rage. Greene - What are your plans now? Spaz - I am going to take out every man that was in the tournamen... EG enters from the right. Spaz seeing Guitar gets ready to fight and throws down the PDA title. EG takes a step back as Spaz walks closer to him and EG raises one hand in the air. Electric Guitar - Greene.. Fuck off. Greene looks around then leaves the interview and leaves Spaz and EG alone. Electric Guitar - I am not here to fight Spaz. Spaz - Then why the hell are you her Guitar? Electric Guitar - I have an idea that will show the world why we shouldn't be fucked with. Spaz - EG, fuck you i don't need your hel... Electric Guitar - Spaz shut the hell up for once in your life and hear me out... I don't like you and you don't like me. But it is obvious that we share on thing in common and that his our hatred for Plague. Spaz what i am about to suggest is a one time opprotunity that will make the Exiles think twice about berating you and myself. Spaz - EG. I don't want any part of your plan. You and me can't get along and you fucking know it. Electric Guitar - Spaz. For one night and one night only I want us to team up and take out Plague and Angel. It will prove to the world that you are better than what you say you are. I saw what happened last night, Spaz you can take out Angel on your own and I even know that. But when it comes to the both of them you will need some help, so please man team up with me and we will put our hatred aside for now. Spaz - EG, let's do it. The camera cuts away and goes back to Falcoon and Brst who are sitting in awe with what they just witnessed. Falcoon - Pinch me. Jackie pinches him. Falcoon - Ow bitch! Kissens - Well your not dreaming! Falcoon - Yeah I know, if I was dreaming it'd be a nightmare if you where in it. Kissens - EG and Spaz have joined forces to take out Plague and Angel. Falcoon - Here is a riddle. What do you get when you take two men that have had a long standing feud and put them together in a tag team match? Kissens - .... Falcoon - ... That is some heavy shit that we have witnessed. Kissens - Riddles have to have answers. Falcoon - Ffffffphuck em! The next match is a pick your partner match. We've already seen that Sangre isn't happy being in the OWF, but will he join his partner in the ring tonight? Kissens - Daemon Hawk isn't exactly a well liked guy in the OWF. Who is his partner gonna be? "Bat Country" by Avenged Sevenfold plays, but, after a few seconds, only Tad O. Minor comes out. Falcoon - What's going on? Tad O. Minor was expected to team up with his fellow Tag Team Champion, Sangre, but he doesn't seem to be coming out! Kissens - Maybe he finally realized who his partner is and bailed on him! Minor rolls into the ring. Immediately after that... PA System - Well, the tongue inside my mouth is not for sale... "Tongue" by Seether plays. The fans, confused at the unfamiliar tune, look towards the entryway. Sangre steps out, dressed in civilian clothes, but wearing his mask. He holds a microphone. Sangre - There is a change of plan here in OWF.....I know that many of you were expecting the Tag Team Champions to come out here and fight Daemon Hawk and some other guy that he could find. I am here to tell you that this match will still happen, except that... Sangre takes off his mask. Sangre - ...the man that was "Sangre" is no longer. Most of you have seen my promos, and you know that I have recently been given a blessing that a lot of people will never experience. The problem is that it comes with its sacrifices, and the biggest one is that I have resigned from the wrestling roster in OWF. The fans boo. Sangre - ...now, calm down, people! I know you guys are tired of another ex-OWF talent leaving before he had the chance to get kicked around by the next generation, but all is not lost. Kid Dynamo - The one thing that I asked for as per a severence package was this - I was very proud of the OWF Tag Title victory that Minor and I achieved, and I didn't want to see the belts vacated. After all, this isn't ASW, so "Vacant" is not going to be a prominent champion here. So, I was allowed to pick a suitable partner for Tad O. Minor to continue the reign that I started. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, one-half of the Numero Uno Tag-Team Specialists... PA System - GOOD-NIGHT!!! Suddenly, the lights go dark, except for a spotlight on the entryway. Out comes an unknown face. Falcoon - Hey! It's the guy from earlier! The man is carrying a microphone in his hand, which he brings to his lips. Man - Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I introduce myself...the former OWF Champion...of the Tag-team division...MISTERRRRR...GOOOOOOD! Kissens - Who? Falcoon - You know! Mr. Good! The guy who...um...Hey! I think he's gonna talk again! Mr. Good - That's right! "Mr. Good" Kellan Hunter has come BACK to OWF to make EVERYONE SAY GOOD-NIGHT! But I am not here as a wrestler! When I retired, I meant it. I'm not like those OTHER veteran warriors who retire just to have hip replacement surgery then come back! I stick to my word! But that doesn't mean I can't come back as a manager...not just any manager...the manager to the MAN who is UNMATCHED in OWF...the MAN who is UNBEATABLE...UNDEFEATED...UNBELIEVEABLE...INDESCRIBABLE... Falcoon - VANESSA HUTCHINS! Kissens - What? Mr. Good - ...well, I won't spoil the excitement for you! Let's bring him OUT! "Thunderstruck" by AC/DC playus as the crowd boos loudly. The OWFtron displays one word: CREME-LYNN And, out from the entryway comes Tad O. Minor. He appears to be decked out in Native-American attire, but, instead of his normal mask, he is wearing a Michael Jackson mask that looks just like he does now...hopelessly white with no nose. Tad...I mean. CREME-LYNN walks out with Mr. Good following right behind. Also running behind them is a midget who appears to be wearing nothing but a black leather Speedo and a dog collar with a leash around his neck. CREME-LYNN and the midget walk into the ring. Some of the fans continue to boo, but many just sit there in shock of what they see. Creme-Lynn receives a microphone from a stage hand, and the crowd goes silent. Creme-Lynn - THAT'S THE DEAL, GIRLFRIEND! The voice that comes out is what you would hear if Jacko himself was doing his best impression of Nathan Lane in The Birdcage. Yeah. Just soak that one in for a second. Creme-Lynn - You have NO IDEA how great it is to be here today! It's been so much fun at the All Star Boys' Ranch, but sometimes I just have to get some FRESH AIR. Some of the fans begin to laugh. Creme-Lynn - I'd like to introduce my friend here. His name is "The Bominator" Bete Beterson, but I usually call him Bio. Him and me have a LOT OF FUN at the Ranch. His parents don't know...oh whoops! I Guess they do now! Falcoon - ...um...are we allowed to broadcast this? Kissens - If it were anyone else, we'd pull the plug, but... Creme-Lynn - Now, I see a LOT of familiar faces. Hey, Hell's Fire! Why'd you leave the Ranch? It was always a FUN little party when HELL'S FIRE came to play. Ooh boy do I love getting Sadistic with those Souls! Yes sir ee! And SPAZ! Well, I don't know why he says "Misfit" because I didn't miss, but I sure did FIT! Falcoon's jaw drops. He is speachless. Kissens - ...um... Creme-Lynn - So, why does everyone keep leaving the All Star Boys' Ranch? I mean, everyone is complaining about how they got screwed! I don't get the problem! But, either way, all I have left is the Crypt of Blewd, which are all TOO OLD FOR ME, and those Birdie guys. I mean, if it wasn't for "Bio" here, I'd have NO FUN AT ALL! Please come back to the Ranch guys! So it be said, so it be WRITTEN! Kissens - ...what just happened? Falcoon - ...I...don't know... Missy Janson - Ladies and gentlemen the following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first the OWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! The team of Cream-Lynn and Tad O Minor! Falcoon - We really need better show writers. That segment was horrible. Kissens - Your headset is on... Falcoon - Ooops. Missy Janson - And his opponent.. Coming to the ring at this time from Trenton, New Jersey.... Daemon Hawk! "Feel So Numb" by Rob Zombie fills throughout the arena as the crowd stand to their feet. The green and white lights begin to flash just before Hawk walks out onto stage. He is greeted by a roar from the crowd. He comes out with a microphone in hand. He stops at the top of the ramp and nods his head at the applause from the crowd. The lights return to normal and the music dies out as Daemon remains at the top of the stage. Looking down into the ring at Tad O Minor, Daemon flashes a quick smirk on his face before speaking... Daemon Hawk - Now I bet the anticipation has been killing everyone all week long....just who is Daemon Hawk going to choose as his tag team partner? Now I've heard the gossip, I've heard the rumors. Is Daemon Hawk gonna go with his longtime friend...Glacier?! The fans cheer at the sound of the name. Daemon Hawk - Daemon Hawk might surprise everyone and walk out alongside Greg Jackson?! The fans somewhat boo due to Jackson's statement earlier... Daemon Hawk - But of course, none of those rumors are true. You see, Glacier would have had no problem being my tag team partner tonight. But you see, Glacier has his eyes set on bigger goals than Tad O Minor. So I went and I looked and I looked all over for someone to fight with me tonight. I came to the conclusion...there was no one else in OWF that I would want to consider teaming with. I started to think, hell why not just come out alone with a steel chair in hand? Hawk emphasizes the last few words to get a nice pop from the crowd. Daemon Hawk - I started looking at what's going on here in OWF. Almost the entire roster is filled with OWF alumni. I've come to the realization I'm not only one of the best here, but I'm from outside the OWF. I was brought in to help OWF re-kick things off with a bang. So instead of choosing an OWF established name, I've gone out of my way to bring in someone who's gonna help spice things up a bit. He's gonna make you wonder, where the hell are these guys coming from? Hawk lowers the microphone to look around at the fans again... Daemon Hawk - Now enough of the talking and time to introduce my tag team partner. This man is a former World Heavyweight Champion. He is from London, England....He is "The Icon"....He is...JOOOEY JOHNSON!!! Falcoon - I know this guy! RWF former Million Dollar champion! He's freakin awesome. Kissens - He's cute too. Falcoon - yeah.. IF YOU LIKE DUDES! Kissens - I do. BECAUSE I'M A CHICK! Falcoon - Shut up hussie. "Break You" by Drowning Pool then begins to play over the sound system as OWF's newest addition, Joey Johnson, walks out onto the stage to a warm welcome from the crowd. He's got long brown hair and is near the same height as Hawk, if not taller. Wearing an "Icon" t-shirt, Johnson looks at Hawk and then out to the crowd. Daemon Hawk and Joey Johnson shake hands and then make their way down to the ring.... (Ding, Ding, Ding...) Creme-Lynn and Joey Johnson step out of the ring, leaving Tad O. Minor and Daemon Hawk to start things off as the legal men. Minor immediately begins to signal for a test of strength. Hawk laughs at him. Tad continues to gesture more and more furiously for a test of strength, causing Daemon to laugh more and more. Finally, he shrugs and extends a hand. Minor slaps it away and shakes his finger, then reaches out again. Kissens - This is a mockery of a wrestling match. Falcoon - This is OWF ACTION! AHOOOO! Finally Hawk is able to get a grip on the slippery smaller man, leading to the inevitable test of strength. Hawk quickly levers Minor down to the mat, works him into a side headlock, and bulldogs him down. Minor bounces back to his feet, gesturing to the referee with the international hand jive for "DQ him for pulling my hair!" The referee gently reminds Minor that his hair is covered by his mask. Minor shrugs, then points behind the referee. While the ref is turned around, Minor throws a punch at Daemon, which is handily blocked and counter-punched, sending Minor staggering back to his corner where he makes the tag to Creme-Lynn. Falcoon - Things are about to heat up! It's The Creme-Lynn! Kissens - It's retarded, is what it is. The Creme-Lynn rushes in at Daemon Hawk, who goes to take him down with a clothesline. The Creme-Lynn ducks beneath the attack and scoops Hawk up for a slam. Instead of slamming his opponent, however, Creme-Lynn stands in place and begins to move his lower hand in a very suspicious manner. Kissens - I don't think that hold is in the rulebook. Falcoon - No, but I bet you're pretty familiar with it. In a fit of pique, Hawk throws an elbow to Creme-Lynn's head, sending him crashing to the mat with Hawk on top. The referee manages to count one before Tad O. Minor slides into the ring and kicks him off. Joey Johnson gets up on the ropes and yells at the referee, making sweeping gestures to indicate how happy he is with Creme-Lynn and Tad O. Minor. Meanwhile, Hawk tosses Minor from the ring, waits for Creme-Lynn to take his feet, and spears him back into his corner. Creme-Lynn weakly reaches out for a tag. Falcoon - The hot tag to our Tag Team Champion! Kissens - I can't believe you're able to say that with a straight face. Minor storms into the ring and goes house of fire on Hawk, chopping his chest, slapping at his face, and otherwise making an open-handed nuisance of himself. Daemon manages to catch one of the strikes and quickly gets Minor in an armwringer. Daemon Hawk drags Tad O. Minor back to Johnson, where he makes the tag. Johnson steps into the ring, and both men hoist Minor up for the double suplex. They then toss him into their corner and stomp away until the referee forces Daemon to leave the ring. Johnson pulls the battered Minor up and whips him to his own corner, monkeyflipping him out before he can make a tag. The two men grapple in the center of the ring, Minor getting the upper hand with a thumb to the eye and whipping Johnson to a neutral corner. He quickly follows up by dashing in and dropkicking his knee out. Falcoon - Minor just kicked Johnson's leg out from under his... leg! Minor scurries up the turnbuckle, coming off with a perfectly timed missile dropkick that sends Johnson to the mat again. Without hesitation, Tad runs up the ropes again, faces out to the audience, and poses erratically. Falcoon - Either Minor is having a seizure or here comes the Minor Threat! Tad comes off the turnbuckle hesitantly, smacking his face on his way down. Johnson gets to his feet and looks over at the downed Minor, confused. He nudges his opponent with his foot, then goes for the pinfall. 1... 2... Falcoon - The Creme-Lynn has broken up the pinfall just in time! Johnson is bitchslapped back to his corner by an irate Creme-Lynn, where he makes the tag. Hawk hits Creme-Lynn with a big left hand, plops him on the turnbuckle, and comes off with the Hawk Attack, slamming Creme-Lynn's head into the still legal Tad O. Minor's mid-section. Falcoon - Hawk Attack! This could be over! Kissens - This SHOULD be over. The referee counts the 1-2-3 as Daemon Hawk holds Creme-Lynn down on top of the downed Tag Champion. Missy Janson - Here are your winners... Daemon Hawk and Joey Johnson! The ring is clearing out as a crazed fan jumps over the guard rail! Falcoon - Hey your the guy from Las Vegas! Quit following us weirdo! The man grabs the extra headset and throws it on. Crazed Fan - Listen up! I only have a second before I get pumbled by security. Tim Slate is a FUCKING JOKE! He's old he can't wrestle and he doesn't even appeal to the fans! The guy is a fucking low life! Give me ONE CHANCE! One fucking chance in the ring with him and I'll prove to you that I desurve an OWF contract! Security rushes him and throws him to the ground. He manages to squirm away from them and dives over the guard rail and exits through the crowd. Falcoon - I was gonna ask the kid his name Kissens - I say we give him a chance. He's got guts. Falcoon - And I'm sure we'd see what they look like if he got in the ring with Tim Slate! The cameras cut to backstage where Creme-Lynn is seen with "Rio", gingerly walking back to his locker room. He is stopped in his tracks, however, by the Gremlin, who appears pissed off! The Gremlin - What the Hell do you THINK you are doing? Everyone KNOWS that it's ABSOLUTELY SHITTY WRESTLING, not, whatever the Hell you called it, and WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO copy me? Falcoon - I'd like to point out that this isn't the real Gremlin! The real Gremlin is in jail. Kissens - Its a parody of a parody! Creme-Lynn - You know, you're right. I'm so mad about this whole thing that I'm gonna go give Rio here the beating of his life. The cameras look at Rio, who appears to be smiling. Creme-Lynn - Is there ANYTHING I can do to make this up to you? I mean, I'd hate to be taking out my frustrations from this on those Nice Ass Outlaws. The Gremlin grabs Creme-Lynn and pushes him up against a nearby wall. The Gremlin - It's nothing an ass-kicking won't fix! SANGRISSIMOOOOOOO! The cameras pan over to Tad O. Minor charging The Gremlin with an Aluminum Baseball Bat! SMACK! CRACK! THUNK! Tad O. Minor miscalculates his angle and sets off a chain reaction where he slams the bat into the wall nine inches away from The Gremlin, which SMACKs off the wall, and CRACKs into Minor's head. The impact knocks Tad to the ground with a THUNK! The self-onslaught distracts The Gremlin, and CREME-LYNN grabs his head and smashes it into the wall! Creme-Lynn - Silly goose! You KNOW that to get to me, you have to get through my contenders first! Mr. Good takes off the Michael Jackson mask and tosses it to the ground. Mr. Good - The following contest is a PDA rules match scheduled for one fall, and it is for the NEWLY REINSTATED...OWF...HANDICAPPED...CHAMPIONSHIP! In this corner... Mr. Good points down at The Gremlin, who is on the ground, woozy from being forced to headbutt the wall. Mr. Good - Where their is NO CORNER AT ALL!...the biggest embarassment in wrestling history...KREAM PUFF! His opponents...the retired, undefeated HANDICAPPED CHAMPIONS...Tad O. Minor and Mr. Good...N.U.T.S.! Kissens - What the Hell? This clown just stole Sangre's spot on the team! Falcoon - He's not a clown at all. Ozric is a clown! Kissens - You know what I meant. Falcoon - Well, he was kinda GIVEN the spot...and my sources are telling me that Mr. Good was half of the original N.U.T.S. team that was in the OWF before! Kissens - Really? My sources are telling me...NOT TO GIVE A CRAP! Oh wait! Here's another bulletin! Falcoon has a Season Pass to the All Star Boys Ranch! Mr. Good grabs the Gremlin and picks him up, only to start landing alternating right and left hands to his face. Meanwhile, Minor is starting to stir. Mr. Good kicks the Gremlin in the stomach, then quickly grabs the baseball bat off the ground and slams it into the Gremlin's back! Gremlin hits the ground, and Good pummels him with a few more baseball bat shots. Tad finally gets to his feet, then sees Gremlin down and runs off, coming back with a ladder! He quickly sets it up and climbs up to the top of it while Good positions Gremlin under it. SANGRISSIMOOOO! Minor turns around and attempts the Minor Threat, and he hits his head on the ladder! The shot sends his body going off to the side and he collapses in a heap at the bottom of the ladder. Good shrugs his shoulders, then picks up Gremlin and DDTs him to the mat! Kissens - I think that's his finisher...the GOOD-NIGHT! Falcoon - Wow. a DDT for a finisher. Either this guy is eighty years old or he has watched Jake Blood's "Hwo to eb a Cerative Reswler". Good rolls him over and goes for a pin. Rio comes over and gives the count...1...2...3! Mr. Good - Your winners, and STILL OWF's HANDICAPPED CHAMPIONS...SINCE SEPTEMBER 2005 WITHOUT ANYONE BEATING US...the REAL Numero-Uno Tag-team Specialists...N.U.T.S.! Mr. Good walks over to a table where a black duffel bag is sitting. He reaches in and pulls out two of the taped-over belts we saw earlier. He walks over to Tad Minor, giving Gremlin a kick in the ribs for good measure, and drops one beside Minor's body. Mr. Good - Welcome back, Minor. Hurry and get up. There's little time, and lots of people that have to say GOOD-NIGHT! Mr. Good walks over and grabs his Michael Jackson mask, then puts it back on. Mr. Good - ...THAT'S THE DEAL! SERIOUSLY GUYS! Come along Rio! I'm in a good mood today, and that means that soon YOU'LL be in a good mood Too! Mr. Good walks off with Rio following close behind. The camera pans over and zooms in on Tad O. Minor, who is just beginning to wake up. Tad O. Minor - ...you...must...be... Tad suddenly grabs the Handicapped Title and leaps to his feet. Tad O. Minor - ...N.U.T.S.!!!! Tad suddenly grabs his head, stands there woozily, then falls over. The cameras cut back to ringside. Falcoon - Thank you NUTS for making us all a TAD bit dumber. Kissens - That wasn't funny. Falcoon - Neither is your face but we all laugh at it. Lets go to the ring. Missy Janson - The following contest is a last man standing match! Introducing first from Seattle Washington.. He is the OWF PDA champion... "The Misfit" Spaz! Falcoon - Plague arguably the favorite coming into this match off of his brief World title reign. Kissens - Plague knows how to get it done. Falcoon - Pfft. Like you'd know. The lights go out and the opening cords to Drain the Blood(The Distillers) blares over the PA. They lights come on dim and the silouette of a figure stands on the stage. The figure turns his head and reveals himself to be "The Misfit" Spaz. The lights come back on fully and the crowd begins to roar. Spaz is wearing his leather jacket with a Misfits sweater, and his hair in Liberty Spikes as he makes his way to the ring. Fire pyro begins to engulf the stage and Spaz walks through the fire till he gets to the ring. He walks up the steps and gets into the ring via the middle rope. He removes the jacket and reveals "Legacy of Brutality" on the right sleeve of the sweater and Hell's Fire on the other. On the back is the members of HF: Sam Caine, Airease, Birrdy, Casper, Spaz, Wolf, Anton, Cage and Angel. He discards of his sweater to reveal a scared upper torso. He then stands in the center of the ring awaiting action. Missy Janson - And his opponent... From Toronto Ontario Canada.. Plague! The arena goes black, then a spotlight appears on the back of Plague. He turns around and holds his right hand in the air. His guitar is slung in front of him. He slides his pick up the string making a loud screech. The Hell's Fire logo is seen on the Titantron interchanging with the Sadistic Souls logo. "Down With The Sickness" is heard through the PA. Strobe lights go off, making Plague's way down to the ring in slow motion. He slides into the ring and throws his hand up in the air and the pyros go off in from the ring posts. He walks over to his corner and stands up and raises his guitar in the air. He sits cross legged on the turnbuckle and waits for the match to begin. (Ding, Ding, Ding...) Kissens - These two can't wait to get their hands on each other, and here in OWF, they didn't have to! Falcoon - Sounds like one of your "dates," to me. Kissens - My sex life is none of your business. Falcoon - Then stop fucking taping it. Now shut up and watch the match. Spaz throws a series of wild punches, which Plague jukes and jives around before tagging him back with an elbow to the forehead, starting a small trickle of blood over the eyes. Spaz lets out a rebel yell and headbutts Plague back right across the bridge of the nose. Plague stumbles back, bounces off the ropes, and clotheslines Spaz to the mat. Falcoon - If this match keeps going at this rate, that ring's gonna be as bloody as Jackie's place on the 3rd of every month! Kissens - That is so totally not your business. On the ground, Spaz tries to cover up while Plague mounts him and begins to rain down punches, finally getting free with a well-timed knee to the groin. Plague crumples to the mat, where Spaz begins to kick away at his ribs while yelling incoherently. The referee begins the count as Spaz continues his assault. 1... Plague catches a hold of Spaz's foot and wrenches the ankle viciously, dragon screwing his opponent to the mat. "The Misfit" rolls out of the ring and tries to wipe the blood and matted hair out of his eyes while Plague works his way to his feet, breathing heavily. While Spaz is facing away from the ring, Plague runs with a head of steam and comes down with a tope con hilo right to the base of Spaz's back. Both men tumble to the floor mat in a tangle of limbs, and the referee begins the count again. 1... Falcoon - That was pretty sick. 2... Like one entity rapidly punching itself, the two men rise to their feet, stopping the count. Falcoon - No count-outs in a Last Man Standing match, just knock-outs! Kissens - Did you think of that yourself? Spaz whips Plague violently into the ring steps, knocking them askew as he flips over them and lands with his back to them. With a running start, Spaz throws a dropkick to the crown of Plague's head as it crests the steps, knocking him into a prone position. Both men are on their knees, Spaz's bloody hair obscuring his visibility more and more as he reaches out blindly and rakes his nails down Plague's cheek, opening up another bleeder. Plague growls and elbows Spaz in the side of the head, laying him out as the lighter wrestler stands up. 1... Spaz pushes up directly into a swing from the ring steps, knocking him rolling. Plague throws the steps after him, and they bounce into the stands to deck a security guard. Other security personnel begin to push the crowd back as Plague and Spaz fight closer and closer to the guardrail. Spaz gets in a good lick to the ear, stunning Plague momentarily, then shoves him over the guardrail where he falls to the dirty concrete. Spaz hops on top of the guardrail and jumps off, leg dropping his opponent right across the throat. Falcoon - You won't see action like this in ASW, folks! 1... Spaz is first to his feet and begins stomping away at Plague's face and ribs again. 5... Plague quickly kneels and shoulder blocks Spaz back into the crowd of security, causing the line they form between the wrestlers and the crowd to undulate like a snake on meth. Spaz runs back at him, hopping off the conveniently-located ring steps to land a vicious kick to the back of the head. Plague staggers, but doesn't fall, making a beckoning gesture at his former stablemate and calling for a test of strength. Kissens - This is retarded. Plague weighs, like, fifty pounds less than Spaz. Falcoon - This may be a more dangerous move for Plague than having sex with ol' Jackie here without double rubbers! The two men tentatively reach out one hand, slapping each other away repeatedly, then finally make contact. As soon as Plague has caught hold of Spaz he pulls him directly into a vicious left that starts a nose bleed, then suplexes the dazed Spaz on the concrete. Falcoon - Wow, a wrestling move! Don't worry if you blinked, it wasn't as exciting as the rest of this match anyway! 1... Spaz starts to raise his head and Plague steps in to punt him in the base of the skull. Spaz goes limp again, and the referee restarts the count. 1... Plague leans against the ropes and yawns. 5... Plague kneels down and backhands Spaz across the mouth, causing the blood from his forehead and nose to spatter on the concrete. 7... Spaz begins to stir, and Plague goes to throw a punch at his opponent's head from his crouch. Spaz rolls out of the way and to his feet, looking shaky but still making a bring it on gesture. Plague shakes his head and calmly steps back over the guardrail, rolling into the ring as Spaz runs after him. Plague goes for a clothesline... THE END! Spaz hits it! Both men are dow, Spaz starts to stir and climbs to his feet. Falcoon - Plague is done! Plague is laying in the middle of the ring absolutely lifeless, and Spaz makes his way over to the turnbuckles. He starts to climb, setting up for the Spazm, when all of a sudden the OWFtron starts to flicker static. Spaz stops on the second turnbuckle and looks up at the screen, confused and cautious. After a few more moments of static the screen clears and we see Angel's face behind the plate glass window of a jail visiting cell. Spaz looks around wildly as the crowd starts to boo... 1... Falcoon - The champ! Thats such raw footage, looks like someone snuck in a camera. Angel - Hey Spazzy! Up here dipshit! Spaz jumps down off the turnbuckles and stands in the center of the ring, his head tilted towards the screen... 3... Angel - Unbelievable...as soon as I'm not around to keep you on your little Spazzy leash, you start causing fucken problems like a little girl throwing a god damn temper tantrum. Spaz starts to become enraged, screaming and cursing at the OWftron... 5... Angel - Look...there you go again. Who the fuck wants you around anyway Spaz. You're useless, you're pathetic...nothing but a burden for the rest of HF... Spaz continues to curse at the camera, and the fans start to boo. Plague is slowly rising to his feet behind the unsuspecting Spaz... 7... Angel - And one more thing you talentless bastard...When you fuck with Hell's Fire...We fuck you harder! A sadistic grin spreads across Angel's face and he starts to chuckle, trying to patronize Spaz... Angel - Don't look now little buddy! Angel points towards the camera as he continues to laugh, and then it immediately cuts off with the sounds of his laughter resonating through the arena. Spaz looks up at the screen confused and Plague now stands behind him... Spaz realises that the count has stopped but its took late... THE VACCINE! Spaz hits the mat as he's dropped by a superkick. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10 Missy Janson - Here is your winner... PLAGUE! Kissens - And Spaz is screwed out of his match by the champion! Falcoon - He desurved it. Spaz is a horrible person! He threw a woman cover the top deck just an hour ago! Kissens - I hope Angel is happy because he's gonna rot in that jail cell! Falcoon - Your a miserable bitch! I'm outta h.... BOOM! An explosion erupts on the stage! Fire flares from the cannons and the heat burns through the arena. The pyro dies down and comes to a low roar.. The OWFtron flickers and you see OWF's newest wrestler outside in the parkinglot. Kissens - Who the hell is that? Ali Khadafi - The name is Ali.. And all you need to know bout me is right in front of you! The cameras turn and we see a beaten and bloody man laying on the cold ground in an alleyway. Theirs a rope tied around his neck that runs up a pole. Ali smiles and shakes his head before grabbing the other end of the rope and yanking it upwards. Kissens - Oh my god! He's gonna hang him! Someone get back there! Slowly the man is drug up the pole, he holds his neck and chokes out blood as his body spins revealing his face... Kissens - Thats Glacier! Oh my god! Someone help Glacier! Ali is laughing in the background and you hear the sound of a headset drop as the OWF logo spins. |
OWF Productions ™