Santa

The traditional image of Santa Claus has always been that of a cheerful fat man with a sack full of toys to give to eagerly awaiting children across the world. But it seems that lately, due to such factors as the continually increasing world population, inflation, and children becoming more commercially aware, Santa has been suffering a great deal of work-related stress. Although Mr. Claus was himself unavailable for comment, his publicity office issued a press release this week stating that he was "highly stressed, but coping."

"I totally understand what the big guy's going through," said one of Santa's elves, who asked to remain anonymous. "I mean, the job gets bigger every year. Here at the workshop we do all we can to help him, but in the end, he's the one who has to deliver all those gifts in one night. He doesn't even get paid. What do you expect?"
Other members of Santa's staff are not so sympathetic. According to various sources, the reindeer are bearing much of the repercussions of Santa's condition, and some sources even suggest he may have an anger management problem. Rudolph, unafraid to be named, had this to say: "He's fine one minute, then he just lashes out the next. Last week he was yelling at us because he thought we were getting too fat to fly. So I said 'Look who's talking,' and he snapped. Let's just say I may be known as Rudolph the black-eyed reindeer from now on."

It seems that in order to maintain his traditional image, Santa may have to take some much needed long service leave. But then the question arises of who will replace him for the time being. Tim Allen has denied any rumors of being involved, however Richard Branson is considered to be a likely candidate.