My dream last night was I was at this bakery and my friend bought me a pastry. Then, all of a sudden this woman who works at Merciless Hospital walked in and wanted to start French kissing me. This woman's name is Denise and she works in one of those office jobs and when the love got intense, the song "Over and Over" by Pam Tillis was playing; strange this chick looks like Pam Tillis in a way and she's petite; man I love a good dream!
Every time I cook or bake something, I have this so-called bad habit. This habit of mine is licking the utensils and as well as the bowls I prep food in. Sometimes this gets in the way of my personal time or next item on the agenda, but in a way washing the dishes comes easier when doing this or if I don't do the dishes, I'll stick them in the refrigerator until I'm ready to do so, just to keep any prowlers away from the scent of the uncooked food.
Well it's that time of the season again, those two licensed ice cream trucks are out on the streets of our lovely, tiny hicktown. They both play those same old songs (the same 1 song over-and-over) per truck year-after-year. The one that really irritates me is the one that plays that song from the either 1920's or 1940's, I like to rip his little stereo out with my bare hands and smash it to pieces on my street guts and all the whole 9 yards and that's the bottom line.
Shrimphead Von Barf, one of my chiefs (approx. 7), what a pathetic piece of trash. All it does is sit down all day and do daah computa wurk, must be nice. Well yesterday it sends this chick name Married to call my house, instead of it, because it's afraid of me and knows I'm a psychotic loner, so she calls to see if I can come in about 45 minutes; the real queer thing is another hypochrondriac calls out sick (another faker) and once again I have to pick up the slack at work.
BlimpieEgo Dumfart Trampbrain, the mega of all Operations Manager, the hate of my life, the scum of all scum, the bald headed bastard, the LEECH, the cockroach, the parasite, the worm, the overtan (hey I have more freckles than Tokyo, Japan) nosy sleasebag got on my case today. The LEECH from now on wants me to communicate with him every time I take a 15 minute break or any break nonetheless. Boy I like to get it on with him in a street fight, inside a wrestling ring, with Gladiator MasterKicker as special guest referee, so we can thrash his ass around and whip him hard and heavy like a little red headed stepchild, and that's the bottom line because Stone Cold Stevo Forget "Austin 3:16" says so!
Meathead Cry Baby, supervisor with extremely crooked teeth, seriously needs an orthodontist. He's on vacation this week and that's why Mr. Maggot took over for him yesterday; the first ever Sunday he had ever worked at Maggothead Hotel. It's very unusual for Baby to be taking a vacation in May, but that's why he probably took one, because the pusshead/cyst/slimeball got on his case too and this is why close to approximately 30 people quit, got fired, or transfer to get the hell out of sing, sing and stop serving hard time.
I have a few tips to share with you plus a freebie; first, to not have fruit flies in the first place, put your fruit wrappings or peelings in a Ziploc bag and stick it in the freezer until you are ready to discard the trash. Second, to easily paralyze and then kill a household or maggot fly, first spray it with window cleaner or Fantastic will do the job and then go for the kill. Third, to prevent carpenter ants from being in your house, put moth balls around the perimeter of the house and the freebie tip of the day is if you hate to wash dishes everyday and you don't want the cockroaches, put your dirty silverware in the refrigerator until you are ready to wash the dishes
Thanks to Al Gore, the ultimate environment wacko, I have to stand by my toilet and hold down the lever until the water completly flushes out. That new bridge that connects to South Potland is too damn long thanks to the wackos, oh dear forbid we destroy any wetlands. And now these same idiots want to find a safe way to plant cocoa trees and not kill the insects that are destroying the world's supply of chocolate, which will be extinct by 2003.
Today is the last day I ever write in this journal, so by now you're either pulling your hair out wondering why you read this thing in the first place, or you're laughing hysterically thinking that this is insane. I tried as hard as I could to keep writing on another subject every single day, even though I wrote extremely long run-on sentences, but could be classified as always three sentences. Sad but true, but I lead a very dull and boring life, so that's why The Shining is my all time favorite movie, because of the imfamous quote---"All Work And No Play Makes Jack A Dull Boy."