Chapter
Twelve: No Goodbyes
Just roll with it
Everything will be fine
Just roll with it
It will be all right
Just roll with it
Don't put yourself down
Everything flowed together
just as Rylee thought. The day after she returned home, Brian called, and the
two talked for almost two hours about Rylee’s sudden departure. They both
apologized and forgave and life went on as normal. Well, almost normal…
Rylee had been staring at
her computer screen for fifteen minutes, without typing a single letter. She ran
her fingers lightly over the base of her laptop. Back and forth, back and forth.
There was a simple assignment she had to complete, and today was the day she set
aside to finish it. Classes had started and the first quarter of her last year
in collage was underway. She was used to whipping out papers and assignments by
now, and found it growing increasingly easier as she neared the end of her
college career. And yet, she couldn’t think. Nothing was coming to her,
nothing at all. She had been staring at a blank page for too long and would have
started seeing spots, but she wasn’t really staring at the screen. She was
looking at it, but her eyes weren’t focused on it. She was just staring
without seeing.
“Well, you’re getting a
lot done, I can tell,” a voice sounded from the doorway.
“What?” Rylee said,
snapping out of her dream-like state. “Oh, yeah, Jess. I’m still working.”
“Working?” Jess scoffed.
“More like spacing. What are you so worked up about?”
“What? Who says I’m
worked up?” Rylee questioned, not really understanding what her cousin was
saying to her.
Jess raised her hand in the
air, and looked at Rylee quizzically. “Uh, me? Ry, what is WRONG with you?”
“Nothing’s wrong with
me,” Rylee answered quickly, as she actually placed her hands over the keys,
in preparation to type… something. Something as soon as it came to her, and
hopefully that would be soon.
“Yeah, sure,” Jess said,
not sounding at all convinced. “You know you’ve been acting weird ever since
you came back from Orlando. Are you SURE nothing happened that you haven’t
told me?” Her tone was accusing, but she meant it out of concern.
“Yes, I’m sure, Jess,”
Rylee replied patiently. A sudden, logical, applicable thought entered her mind,
and she quickly started typing.
Jessica moved to sit on the
edge of Rylee’s bed, her eyes on her roommate, cousin, and best friend. “Are
you fighting with Brian?” Jess asked.
“Nope,” Rylee answered
without looking up. She was on a roll now with her assignment, and kept up a
steady pecking at her keyboard, even as Jess questioned her.
“Are you failing a
class?”
“Not yet!” Rylee answered
with a laugh. “But there’s still lots of time for that!”
“You had a bad practice
thing-a-ma-jig the other day?”
“No more than usual.”
“Your parents called and
they were getting on your case about your career choice again?” Before Rylee
could answer, Jess answered herself. “Oh wait, that’s me!”
Rylee giggled as Jessica
smacked herself on the head and made a comical face. She returned to her
computer and started typing again.
Jessica tried another
question. “MY parents called you and were getting on your case about your
career choice?”
Rylee shook her head and
laughed again.
“Your parents called you
and were getting on your case about something else?”
Rylee shook her head again.
Jessica’s eyes narrowed as
she thought of another possibility for Rylee’s distressed state. “That girl
didn’t call again, did she?”
Rylee rolled her eyes this
time, and swiveled around in her chair to face Jess. “No, thank God. But
there’s still plenty of time for THAT too.”
“That girl” that Jessica
referred to was none other than Michelle. Somehow, probably through her
father’s connections at JIVE, Michelle had gotten a hold of Rylee’s
apartment number, and had called twice already. She apparently decided that just
having Rylee out of the way wasn’t enough, and she intended to basically gloat
about being near Brian when Rylee couldn’t be. It wasn’t an especially
brilliant plan, but then Michelle wasn’t an especially brilliant girl. So far
the phone calls had been nothing more than a mere annoyance, and Michelle had
wised up a little about threatening Rylee in an upfront manner, and took the
road more traveled and had developed a liking for underhanded insults. Nothing
too bold of course, but Michelle had spent ten minutes complimenting Rylee, in a
sneaky way that always ended up being an insult. Mostly Rylee and Jessica just
laughed at whatever idiotic thing Michelle said. Jessica’s favorite was during
the second call when Michelle had said, “Well, I guess you have A LOT of work
to do. I mean, you won’t want JIVE to release you from your contract because
your acting, has, well, gone out of style.”
Rylee was highly amused.
“Um, Michelle, I’m a singer, not an actress. So my acting can suck worse
than Keanu Reeves in “Speed”, and my contract won’t be in any danger.”
“Oh,” was all Michelle
could come up with. Rylee had a sneaking suspicion that Michelle had preplanned
everything that she was going to say. Obviously Michelle didn’t take into
account the fact that she was a ditz. Again, Michelle was not an especially
bright girl. And this not especially bright girl was sure to call again, it was
just a matter of when.
“Okay”, Jess stated,
counting off on her fingers. “So you’re not fighting with Brian, you’re
not failing a class, you didn’t have a bad practice thing-a-ma-jig, no parents
are getting on your case, and Psycho Girl didn’t call, so what the heck is
wrong with you?”
“I don’t know, Jess.
It’s probably nothing.” Rylee reached up without thinking and rubbed her
temples, as she felt the beginnings of a headache.
“Do you have a headache
again?” Jess asked, worried.
Rylee quickly brought her
hand down. “Noooooo,” she lied.
Jessica sighed. “Ry,
you’ve been having a lot of headaches recently. Maybe you should see a doctor
or something. You know the medical center is only, like, two blocks away.”
Rylee smiled. “Or I could
just wait until Thanksgiving, and ask one of the three dozen or so doctors in
our family,” she said dryly, trying to make light of the situation. “And
don’t you have some work to do or something?”
Jessica got the message that
Rylee didn’t want to discuss it further, so she stood up. She smiled brightly.
“But you forget, Ry, we won’t see all three dozen at Thanksgiving. So I
guess you’ll just have to settle for the twenty we will see.” With that, she
turned and went to go get started on her own work.
Rylee
continued typing. She understood that Jessica was worried about her. In fact,
she was almost worried about herself. It wasn’t like her to be so distracted
and anxious for a constant period of time. She just had things on her mind, and
it was hard for her to get back into a routine after being on vacation for so
long. Of course she had been in school, and had plenty of time to readjust to
her schedule, so maybe it was something else. Fatigue. That was it. She was just
tired, as busy as she was now, with school and rehearsal, rushing around. The
stress of rehearsals and working with vocal coaches and choreographers, rushing
from one meeting to another, it was all just catching up with her. That had to
be it, she told herself. There was no other logical explanation. She would adapt
to being out all day, and giving her all, vocally, physically, mentally and
emotionally. Eventually, her calm, organized state of mind would return and the
headaches would stop coming. She just had to take it one day at a time, and
everything would be fine. Perfectly, absolutely, nothing-could-ever-be-wrong
fine.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
It's
not that I can't live without you
It's just that I don't even want to try
Every night I dream about you
Ever since the day we said goodbye
She
smiled up at him sweetly, enjoying the way the sunlight filtered through the
leaves, sending little bursts of light all around them. Brian smiled back, the
corners of his eyes crinkling, just like they did every time he was genuinely
happy. And they were both happy, just the two of them, surrounded by a grove of
trees, picture perfect in every respect, down to the tiny white flowers
springing up like dew in the rich green grass and the soft melody of birds
singing in the distance.
Brian
looked up at the canopy of trees that shaded them, then smiled again at Rylee.
He reached both of his hands up and rested them in her soft hair. He ran his
fingers down the entire length of her hair and down her arms to clasps her
wrists gently. He pulled lightly on her arms, and she took a step forward so she
was just inches away from him. She just watched him, as he let go of her wrists
to place both of his hands on either side of her face, drawing her closer for a
kiss. He kissed her softly, sweetly, gently. Perfectly. Too perfectly-
Rylee woke
with a start and sat up in her bed in semi-darkness.
She tilted her head slightly, squinting to read the numbers on her clock.
4:28. She brought her knees up until she could rest her head again them and
stifled a groan. A college student
with a million things to do does NOT need to wake up at 4:28 when she doesn’t
need to. But the fact that her precious sleep was interrupted was not Rylee’s
main concern at the moment.
“Not
again,” she said softly. “Why?” she asked herself, demanding an answer,
when she knew that she did not have one. “Why do I keep dreaming about him?”
She paused,
waiting, almost as if she expected the answer to come from the still dark
corners of her room. “I don’t need this,” she muttered, when no sound of
reply was heard.
It was not
the first time she had dreamed about Brian, and it would certainly not be the
last. After all, they had known each other their whole lives, and Brian was
bound to be in her thoughts occasionally during the last fleeting moment before
sleep from where dreams are drawn. But it was the fifth time that month. And
considering that it was only November 9th, five times was a lot. And
those five times didn’t include all the times during October, or September,
or, basically, ever since she returned from Orlando. She figured she probably
had more dreams about Brian within the last couple months than in the all the
rest of her life, combined. And it was about to drive her insane.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~