Chapter Ten: I Want It That Way

I’ve got this feeling you’re not gonna stay
It’s burning within me
The fear of losing
Of slipping away
Just keeps getting closer

The bright sunlight stung Rylee’s eyes as she opened them slowly. Glancing at the clock, she tried to figure out why she was still so tired after going to bed early the night before. She sat up, hugging her knees to her chest, remembering the reason she had retired early. "Brian," she said in a soft voice, with an air of finality. Thinking back, she could have killed herself for apparently giving in so easily to Brian’s smile. Despite the air of innocence that many claimed she had, Rylee had a certain fiery anger that had gotten her into trouble many times. But in recent years, that anger had refused to show itself when it should be directed at Brian. But something about the idea of being a singer had suddenly turned everything around. She was angry with herself for agreeing so easily, and she felt pressured by Brian to make the decision he wanted her to make. Most of all, she felt betrayed by her best friend, who should have shown support for whatever decision SHE wanted to make. "I have to get away," she said aloud to the empty room. "I’m not running away, but I need to think by myself, and Brian is only clouding my judgment."

A quick glance at her watch told her that it was the 28^th of July, week and a half before she was supposed to fly back to LA. A thought crossed her mind, but she quickly dismissed it. Then a minute later the same idea surfaced. This time she considered it thoughtfully. "That’s what I should do," she told herself. "But, I need to talk to Brian first," she added, throwing back the covers of her bed, and jumping out of bed. "Brian will understand."

Soon she made her way downstairs. With a fierce, yet determined resolve, she was prepared to talk to Brian, confront him, and forgive him. She found Brian leaning over the kitchen island, reading the newspaper. He looked up when she walked in the room. "Good morning, Ry," he said, cheerily.

"Bri, I need to talk to you," Rylee said, sitting down on a stool across from him. She wasted no time with formalities, but got straight to the point.

Brian set his paper aside. "Good, because I wanted to talk to you, too."

Rylee nodded. "Okay, you go first." She was hoping deep inside that he would say the words that she wanted him to say, to say he was sorry for being overbearing and not letting her make her own decision. Brian took a deep breath, his blue eyes boring into Rylee’s brown ones. "Nick seems to have this idea that I was trying to force you to do something that you didn’t want to in telling you to take a break from college last night."

He paused for a moment, and Rylee couldn’t help but interrupt. "Wait, NICK has this idea?" she asked in disbelief. "And what idea do you have?"

"You didn’t seriously think I was trying to, what was the word Nick used? Oh yeah, ‘manipulate you’, did you?" Brian asked, the condescending tone unknowingly creeping back into his voice.

Rylee cocked her head to one side, as she looked at Brian evenly. "What was I supposed to think, Brian?"

Brian’s hands both came up to rest on the tiles between them. "You thought I was trying to manipulate you?"

Rylee leaned back and didn’t answer, her jaw tight. 

"You’ve got to be kidding me!" Brian exclaimed when Rylee was silent.

"What?!" Rylee said, hoping she was misunderstanding his tone.

"How could you think that?" he said accusingly. He was feeling cornered by Nick last night, and was surprised by the things the younger man had told him. And now Rylee was sitting in front of him telling him the same things.

"Don’t be throwing accusations at me," Rylee responded, her anger rising, even though she kept her voice calm.

"I’m not accusing you, I’m defending myself!" Brian retorted.

"Fine," Rylee said, crossing her arms over her chest. "What would you call it then?"

"I call it giving my opinion, and giving advice to my best friend!" Brian said defensively. He was feeling cornered again, like Rylee had suddenly turned on him. It was not a feeling he enjoyed, and as a result reacted, in anger.

Rylee shook her head in disbelief. "’Giving your opinion’, Brian? ‘Giving advice’?" There was an angry glare in her eyes, matched by the same glare in Brian’s. "I’m sorry, but ‘do it now, Ry,’ ‘this is what’s best for you, Ry’, and ‘trust me, Ry’ is NOT doing either," she said strongly, mocking the sweet tone that Brian had used the night before. "I don’t appreciate you mocking me." "And I don’t appreciate you talking to me like I’m a disobedient child or thinking that I don’t know enough to make my own decision."

"Well, I’m sorry then," Brian said, his voice rising. " I’ve been in the music business for six years, but yeah, what do I know? I guess I thought that entitled me to a little more wisdom than you," he shot back.

Rylee’s eyes went wide, then narrowed, as she comprehended what he was saying. "Brian, this doesn’t have anything to do with the music business! We’re not talking about picking a manager or where to go on tour! We’re talking about COLLEGE! MY college! This is a decision I’m perfectly capable of making. I’m twenty-one, Brian. You need to get over yourself and understand that. I thought we went through this when I first got here, but I guess I was wrong."

"Look," Brian told her, his voice tight. "I don’t want to argue with you."

"Well, I didn’t want to argue with you either. I only wanted to talk to you and tell you I’ve decided to go back to LA early."

Brian looked up at her in shock for a moment, and then his anger returned. "Fine, Rylee. Just run away from this right now, just because you’re angry. Fine." He raked both of his hands angrily through his hair, and adverted his eyes. He looked back at her, his eyes practically burning blue fire.

On other occasions, that fire in Brian’s eyes would cause Rylee to back down and reconsider what she was saying. But this time she took a deep breath and plunged ahead. "Yes, I’m angry right now. But I’m not running away. And I’m certainly not running away from you. I’m leaving because I need to make an important decision, and I need time to think about it, and I need to decide BY MYSELF!"

"Sure, you can say that, but-" the loud ring of the phone suddenly interrupted Brian. They both looked at it.

Nick, who was upstairs, desperately trying to control his overwhelming desire to eavesdrop, had his headphones on and missed the phone’s shrill ring.

Rylee looked back at Brian, understanding his intention. "Don’t answer it, Brian."

He turned back at her. "But what if it’s important?"

"Oh, I’m sorry, is this conversation not important to you?" Rylee said, angrily.

"That’s not what I meant, Rylee."

"Then what did you mean, Brian?"

"Nothing, it’s just that…" he looked back at the phone, which was still ringing. Before Rylee could say another word, he got up and picked up the phone. "Hello?"

Rylee shook her head in disbelief.

"Oh, hi, Michelle."

Upon hearing his words, Rylee suddenly slammed both fists on the tile counter and stood up quickly to walk out of the kitchen.

Brian looked at her his eyes wide, the phone still up to his ear. Seeing she was gonna leave, Brian called, "Don’t walk out on me, Rylee! I’m not done talking to you!"

On the other end of the phone, Michelle’s eyes brightened with delight, as she heard Brian’s words and the tightness of his voice. ‘They’re fighting!’ she thought, ‘Oh, I couldn’t have called at a better time! I know Someone up there loves me!’ Keeping her own voice sweet, she asked Brian, "Oh, Brian, did I call at a bad time?"

"Um, yeah, sort of," Brian responded, still keeping his eyes on Rylee.

Rylee had stopped when Brian called out to her, and just now slowly began turning around. The fire that had burned in Brian’s eyes earlier would have been completely engulfed by the fire in Rylee’s. She was livid, her jaw was set and her hands were clenched at her sides. "Brian." Her voice was deadly calm. "I’m only going to say this once. Hang up the phone in the next two seconds or I swear this conversation is over, and I’m leaving Orlando tonight, whether you like it or not."

Brian knew she was serious. "Look, Michelle," he said quickly into the phone. "I really have to go." "Oh, but Brian," she said, trying to stall him. She could hear every word that Rylee had said, and almost screamed with excitement. With Rylee going back to LA, she wouldn’t be around to interfere with Michelle’s plan. "I just wanted to call and say hi. I’m sorry this was a bad time. When would you like me to call back?"

"One" Rylee counted.

"Um, I don’t know, but I really have to go now, I’ll talk to you some other time." Brian said, his eyes flickering back to Rylee.

"Oh, all right, Brian," Michelle answered, slowly. ‘Just a little bit longer,’ she thought to herself. "I just was going to ask you also if you wanted to have dinner or something tonight. But I guess that’s probably not going to happen. It’s okay though, like you said, we can talk some other time. Is that alright with you?" "Yeah, sure, that’s fine," Brian said, quickly, trying to hurry and get off the phone. "Look, I really have to go."

Rylee folded her arms across her chest, one eyebrow raised. "Two."

With that, she turned away and walked up the stairs to her room, and slammed the door. The door slam echoed throughout the house. Nick was startled by the sound and quickly pulled his headphones off, looked at the wall separating his and Rylee’s bedrooms. Brian cringed when he heard the noise, and Michelle was about to burst out laughing with joy.

"Michelle," Brian said, his voice strained. "I’ve gotta go. Bye." This time he didn’t wait for a response, but hung up quickly.

Hearing the dial tone, Michelle let out a laugh. "Oh this is just wonderful!" She said to herself. "This couldn’t have been more perfect than if I had planned it myself!" Replacing her phone in its cradle, she smiled a very satisfied smile. "Let’s see your friendship survive that, Rylee."

Nick rapped loudly on Rylee’s door. "Rylee? Rylee!" he called. "Come on, Rylee. Answer me or something!" He let out a sigh of frustration, and turned around to see Brian walking up the stairs. "What did you do now?" Nick asked in exasperation. He voice held no trace of anger; he got over that already. He was more annoyed than angry, and was eager to see this whole thing work out.

Brian barely noticed that Nick wasn’t angry with him anymore. He gave a big sigh, and joined Nick in knocking on Rylee’s door. "Rylee, open up. Let’s talk, alright?"

They both knocked a few more times, and tried vainly to get her to open the door. Suddenly, the door was jerked open by a very annoyed Rylee. "Look. Both of you. I really don’t want to talk right now."

"Ry-" Nick started.

"Rylee, I’m sorry, okay?" Brian pleaded. "Don’t leave like this."

She was completely irritated and made no effort to disguise the rolling of her eyes. She had had just about enough of this. "Leave like what, Brian? Like I’m not annoyed? Sorry, I’m not that great of a liar." Her tone was quick and biting, but she was past caring.

Looking over her shoulder, Nick caught a glimpse of an opened suitcase lying on Rylee’s bed, half filled with clothes. Shock registered on Nick’s face. He hadn’t thought that Rylee would actually leave Orlando. "You’re leaving?" he questioned, hoping that the obvious wasn’t true.

Brian also saw the evidence of Rylee’s packing, and opened his mouth to try and get her to stay.

Rylee held her hand up, halting Brian’s words. "I was already planning to leave before I talked to you. I have things I need to do back in LA."

Brian stuck out his chin stubbornly. "Rylee, I’m not letting you leave until we talk."

"We just talked" was her short answer.

Brian’s eyebrows flew up. This attitude of hers was starting to get on his nerves. "I mean it, Rylee. I’m not taking you to the airport until we talk."

Rylee rolled her eyes again. "Fine."

Brian almost smiled, thinking he had won. "Okay, then," he started to say.

Rylee paid him no attention, but turned to Nick instead. "Nicky, can you take me to the airport later?"

Nick’s jaw dropped quickly. He too had thought Rylee was going to stay. He looked back and forth between Rylee and Brian.

Rylee kept her eyes on Nick, waiting for an answer. The determined look on her face dared him to try and say no.

"Um," Nick said, then looked at Brian. Sparks were practically flying out of Brian’s eyes, as if defying Nick to say yes. "Oh, boy," Nick muttered under his breath. "Um, listen, guys," he started to say. "Maybe you should leave me out of this. I mean, I don’t want to"-

"Just say yes or no, Nick!" Rylee interrupted impatiently.

"Um, um, um…" Nick’s mind raced frantically, trying to think of a compromise. Finally, with a small sigh, he agreed.

Brian threw his hands up in the air. "Great, just great. Fine, Rylee." With that he turned and walked away. "Have a great trip," he said angrily over his shoulder.

Rylee almost felt bad and she watched him walk away, his shoulders stiff. Almost. Turning back to Nick, she told him, "There’s a flight to LAX in three hours. Is that alright for you?"

Nick just nodded. Just then, they both heard the door slam, and Brian’s car pull out of the driveway.

"Great," Rylee said to herself, turning to resume her packing. "I just hope he doesn’t kill himself."

Nick looked at Rylee, half in disbelief over what happened so quickly. He turned to look in the direction Brian took down the stairs. They were both so stubborn. Nick didn’t necessarily agree with Brian or even with Rylee. But he just wished they agreed with each other. He knew their friendship wouldn’t be destroyed over something such as this, but he wished they didn’t have to argue at all. "Or at least not when I’m around," he muttered before shaking his head and walking away.

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

Now I can see that we’re falling apart
From the way that it used to be
No matter the distance
I want you to know
That deep down inside of me
You are my fire
My one desire

Nick entered the house quietly, not knowing what he’d find. He just returned from dropping Rylee off at the airport. It had to have been one of the most heart-wrenching good-byes he’d ever seen. Rylee’s face was stoic, and she was silent. Nick could tell she was sad about leaving, and how she was leaving. But of course she was too proud to admit that, especially when she knew she was right. She had given him a hug and a small smile before walking down the airplane terminal, the only sense of normalcy Nick had seen. Brian should have been there. There should have been hugs and tears and whispered promises of calling when the plane landed safely. But there was none of that.

Hearing the muted sounds of the TV, Nick walked towards the living room, where Brian was sitting in semi-darkness watching some random channel.

"Hey," Nick ventured, breaking the stillness. "I’m back. Everything alright?"

"Sure." Brian answered, without taking his eyes off the TV.

"Brian, aren’t you gonna-"

"Nick," Brian interrupted. "I don’t want to talk about this right now."

"You’re not even gonna-"

"Nick." Brian warned.

"Okay, okay," Nick said, holding his hands in surrender. He knew better than to keep pressing the issue. So with one last worried glance at Brian’s expressionless face, he turned and walked out of the room. ‘He’ll give in and call her soon,’ Nick assured himself, walking into the kitchen. Just as his hand closed on the refrigerator handle, the phone rang. Picking it up, Nick was hoping to hear Rylee’s voice, even though she was still on the flight back to LA. "Hello?" he said quickly.

"Hey, Nick! How’s everything going in O-Town?" a cheerful voice answered.

"Oh, hey, JC," Nick said, recognizing JC’s voice, his disappointment evident.

"Whoa! Who rained on your parade?" JC asked, hearing Nick’s flat tone.

"What?"

"Never mind," JC said quickly. "Anyways, I’m in Tampa with the rest of the guys, but I was wondering if Rylee’s there."

Nick sighed. "No, she’s not here."

"She’s not?" JC asked, before Nick could finish what he was saying. "Oh, well where is she?"

"She-"

"Oh, it doesn’t matter," JC said, interrupting Nick again. "Just tell her to call me when she gets back. Is that cool?"

"No, actually, it’s not."

"Wait, run that by me again?" JC asked confused. "What’s wrong?"

"Rylee’s not here."

"Yeah, I know, you already said that. What am I missing here?"

"No, JC, she’s not here, as in she’s not in Orlando, not in Florida."

"What? Why? What happened?" JC asked, all in one breath.

Nick explained as best he could the little bit of information Rylee had told him in the car. JC was silent as he digested the news. "I can’t believe she just left," he said after a moment.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Nick agreed. "It was just a fight, and they have fought before. Just not about something like this. Or maybe Rylee just doesn’t usually take a stand for herself like this. I didn't think it was such a big deal. I don’t know what’s going on. They’re both too stubborn for their own good."

"Dang," JC said. "Well," he added after a moment’s silence. "I guess we were right about something big happening this summer for those two."

"Yeah, but this isn’t exactly what I meant."

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

*chapter nine*

*chapter eleven*

*back to novels*