« The 12 Worst Days Of Christmas »

On the first day of Christmas
We all lived happily
I had affections for my lover
And she had some for me.

The second day of Xmas
Really flew by quite fast
We dreamed of the days to come
And those that had just past

The third day of Xmas
Was definitely not so hot.
I bought a gift for my sweetheart,
Sadly, mine she forgot

The fourth day was very much hell,
For she found a brand new lover,
I was determined that I would not cry
For a love cure I'd try to discover

The fifth day was spent mostly drinking
I thought not of my amour,
I woke up very late on the sixth day
Passed out on my floor.

The seventh day was spent planning
Of the Revenge that would be mine
I'd sleep with her mom, her friends and her cousins
Perhaps all of them, if I had time.

I spent the eighth day in jail,
Because I followed her all of that day,
I knew not the cops had followed me
You'd think she planned it all this way

The ninth day was spent with Bruno,
My cell mate and new close friend
He told me I was his puppy now
And showed just how my back could bend.

Day ten was in the infirmary
Me and Bruno saw not eye to eye
When told me I was his new lover
I told him I'd rather die

Day eleven was spent pleading in court
The judge said I had originality
Her lawyer pushed for more time in jail
But I got off on a technicality

Today is a big bright day twelve
Things are going very well, I must say
For I met my dear old lover just now
She said her new boyfriend had turned gay.