| It has been told to me that some are wondering why it is that I remain anonymous. So I wll try to better explain what the problem is and why this must be so. If I were to openly write about this system, I would be considered a threat to the secure operations of the Department of Corrections. The fact that I speak up for Biker's Rights, and have been labelled as a "Gang Member and Leader" in the past, gives the Department a free hand to deal with me in how they see is in the best interest of the Secure Running of the Department. Judges have been taking a hands off policy with this issue for the last ten years now. Because of this if I am to contunue to report to the public the realities within these dungeons, remaining anonymous is the only way that I can insure that I am not silenced. Please understand, I am not in the free world, the Department of Corrections does not have to honor my Rights or even pretend to act like my Rights matter. Prison is not a Democracy, it is a dictatorship. Custody and Control are considered of paramount importance, even at the expense of Basic Human Rights. Freedom of Speech, the Courts have determined, is not within the rights that must be protected for Prisoners in the interest of the Secure Running of the Institution. Next on the agenda are some questions asked of my Jake, how could two people that have never met physically fall in love with one another. It should not really surprise anyone that has true love in their lives, love is not based on anything physical, but much deeper, more primal. One belief is that when the earth was forming, and life was growing there was a split of the essence of life. Biblical words state that man was created and then a piece removed from the man to create woman. In other philosophies the essence is the same, that man and woman are actually incomplete without each other and there is a mate (or Soul Mate) out there for each being that when together both become complete. Would anyone that believes this philosophy, question that the soul does not need to be in the vicinity to connect with it's mate? Those of the Religous beliefs make claims to being connected to their God in heaven. How far of a stretch for them is it to understand that a connection does not have to occur in the physical realm? Now how Jake and I were able to find one another is very much the story. My Jake did not even like to write letters at all, but was with another man who happened to be a friend of mine. He asked her to write me and to keep me updated on what was happening with him. When he broke off the relationship with her, we remained friends and kept writing one another only now talking more to each other, about each other. We shared many of the same ideals and slowly but surely got to know one another on a deeper level than the skin deepness of a physical connection. I found myself not looking for any other mail except her words and my heart leaping when I would see a letter come in my cage with her handwriting. Our trust started to build as we shared more of what was on the inside, because we did not have the physical realm to share. The bond did not start on the outside, but rather from within. There is a difference. Soon we found ourselves writing more often, but both not wanting to destroy the friendship by expressing the feelings that were developing between one another, because of how we met. We wanted more, but were concerned that expressing our feelings would somehow scare the other away. We found ourselves writing at the same time discussing similar issues, even though we did not speak to one another about these issues and answering questions before the other asked them. We each began feeling one another out, making more sensual comments but in a playful way, then getting the response that was more inclining to open up more about the feelings we were developing for one another. Finally we openly spoke our feelings of more than friendship and decided to explore the possibility of a deeper relationship. We had actually fell in love before we ever expressed it to one another. The love continued to grow and continues today. For those that have never experienced this depth of love, I feel bad for you, and I doubt that my explanation will bring you any understanding of how it can happen without ever being in the same room physically. However, for those that have made such a connection with their Soul Mate, my guess is that you will understand that you do not have to be in the same area to know when your life mate is happy, sad, scared or sending you love. It is just that deep of a connection. You just know that you are whole! |
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| Outlaw Man's Desk |
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