Soujirou looked down to the riverbank, shading his eyes from the glare of the sun. Laying on the spring grass was Himura Kenshin, eyes closed looking asleep.
Soujirou quietly walked down and sat beside him, putting the bucket of tofu beside him. He pulled his knees up, and leaned against them, looking out at the lazy current as it carries a pink petal downstream.
"Good day to you, Soujirou," Kenshin's voice said softly, startling Soujirou.
"Himura-San... good day to you as well. Are you feeling well this morning?"
Kenshin sighed, and sat up. "I'm feeling restless. Not that I want more adventure, or anything, but..." Kenshin trailed into silence.
"What about your lady?" Soujirou asked. He didn't know if he wanted to hear the answer, however.
Ever since that winter storm when he had taken refuge at the Kamiya dojo, Soujirou had been staying there, despite having been told he would be leaving the next day. He had started doing odd jobs around the dojo, and at near-by neighbors. Bringing in some money had helped, and no one had ever asked him to leave.
He still slept in Kenshin's room, and he still shared Kenshin's futon often. Though Soujirou couldn't pretend by day, still, at night, laying in the samurai's arms, he could pretend the red-head loved him.
"She's not my lady," Kenshin said sharply. "Why do people think she's my lady?"
"Because she's in love with you."
"Well, I am not in love with her. And I'm sorry if I end up hurting her, but I think it's time I moved on."
Soujirou stared in shock. Kenshin was resuming his journey... and he would most likely go alone. Leaving Soujirou behind.

Soujirou watched as Kenshin made his final good-bye. Kaoru cried silently as he explained that he had to move on, and he would never forget her hospitality and kindness.
"But- why, Kenshin?" Kaoru sobbed softly.
"It's just time to go, Kaoru-dono," he said. "I feel restless and ready to move on."
"But you're happy here! I don't want you to go! Kenshiiiiiiiiiiin!!!!!!!!!!"
Kenshin winced slightly. "I'm sorry, Kaoru-dono. I'll be leaving at first light." He turned and walked to his room, leaving Kaoru to cry.
Soujirou followed him, sliding the door closed behind them.
"Soujirou...."
"Yes, Himura-San?" he responded, as Kenshin started to make a bundle of his things.
"Do you think I'm doing the right thing, leaving like this?"
"I think only you can decide that," Soujirou said quietly, as he sat upon his futon.
"I think going is a good thing. Kaoru-dono is able to continue on her own now, without my protection. There are others out there that may need me. I don't feel useful around here anymore. There's nothing to tie me down."
"Ah," Soujirou murmured, feeling sick at heart. The dreams were over.
"I wonder where I shall go?" Kenshin mused aloud.
Soujirou laid down, closing his eyes as Kenshin murmured in the background. What had happened? Where had he gone wrong? Life could be so unfair. He tried so hard to make Kenshin see him as something other than a creature to be pitied. And now it was too late.

Soujirou slid the door of the room open silently. The crickets chirped outside in the predawn.
He hadn't slept all night. All he could think of was Kenshin leaving. And that brought the thoughts of why. Why was he there? Kenshin. Why was he staying? No reason to... Kenshin was leaving. Why not leave himself? If here were gone before Kenshin left, there wouldn't be the pain of his leaving. Of seeing him walk down the road on his journey.
Soujirou wrote a quick note to Kaoru-san, thanking her for her hospitality, then picked up his pack.
As he reached the gate of the property, he looked back with some fondness. After all, these were good people-- they trusted him even after he had proven himself to be an enemy.
Kenshin stood in the middle of the path. He regarded him steadily with the purple eyes that could hold such emotion for other people, but never for Soujirou.
"Are you leaving as well?" Kenshin asked softly.
"Yes, Himura-san, I think it's time for me to go as well," Soujirou smiled. It had always been his first and best defense.
"Why?"
"I spent the night wondering about that. Why. Why why why." Soujirou turned away, and looked toward the east. The sky was ribboned in pinks and purples, and the outer rim of the sun was just beginning to peek out. The birds sang from the trees, and swirls of cherry petals danced in the gentle breeze.
"Why. Good question. Better question Why not? There's nothing here for me. I've already overstayed my welcome."
"Kaoru-dono would probably welcome you more now."
"Or not. You don't know that, I don't know that, and I really don't care," Soujirou looked over at Kenshin, a smile to hide the pain.
"You always smile most when you feel the worst," Kenshin murm ured.
"Hm? I also smile when I'm happy. And I should be happy. There's no reason not to be happy. None. Nope."
"Soujirou..."
"But there's no reason TO be happy!" Soujirou cried out, turning to face Kenshin. Tears burned in his eyes, tears he couldn't bear to shed. Couldn't help but shed.
"You're leaving and I'm alone! There was nothing keeping me here but you! Why do I want to stay in a place that will only remind me of you?"
"Sou-"
"And how could you have done that?! How could you announce it to everyone before telling me?" Soujirou chuckled dryly. "No, I understand that. You owe me nothing. You don't even like me. I'm just a fun little toy you were able to expend your sexual energies on, then discard.
"But it wasn't like that for me," he continued softly. He wiped angrily at the tears. "You know how I feel about you. It's not like I haven't told you every night that I've lain with you. I just wish that finding out that you're such a... an unfeeling jerk, doesn't make me love you less."
Soujirou bowed his head for a moment, the hot tears burning their way down his cheeks.
He looked up suddenly, anger burning from his midnight blue eyes. "Damnit! Don't look at me with pity like that!!! I don't need your pity. And I certainly don't want it."
"Soujirou, please-"
"NO! I don't want to hear it. I don't want to know. Just let me be." Please."
"Only if you'll listen to me." When Soujirou only stood there, not responding, Kenshin took a step closer.
"It's difficult for me. You remind me of Shishio, and I generally don't want to be reminded of him. But you've been here for some time now, and I've begun to get over that. I didn't think that you meant what you said."
"What's that?" Soujirou glanced to his side, not quite looking at the small redhead.
"That you love me. Why should I believe it? I thought it only pillow talk."
"Even after telling you so many times?" Soujirou spun to face him. "Ok. This isn't in bed. I love you. I. Love. You. I need you, I want you, and I feel alone without you. You won me, Kenshin. Back in that forest so long ago. You won me when we fought and you had me. Do I remind you of Shishio-san or do I remind you of Okita?"
"Yes. You remind me of Okita. He was my first love, and you look like him."
"Is that why you can't love me?"
"I do."
"Because I look like Okita? Is that... what? What did you say?"
"I do. I do love you, Soujirou. I wanted to ask you to come with me, but I was afraid. Afraid you'd laugh at me, afraid you'd say no. Afraid you might say yes. Just afraid."
"You didn't have to be," Soujirou said softly.
"Well then," Kenshin smiled gently. "Will you come with me?" He opened his arms to Soujirou.
Soujirou smiled through his tears. "Kenshin!" he cried, running into the arms.
"Hey!" Kenshin laughed, almost being bowled over. He wrapped his arms around the pretty Soujirou. "Does that mean yes?"
Kenshin found his lips covered by Soujirou's. "Yes-yes-yes!!"
"Good. I'm tired of being alone. Walk with me."
"Always," Soujirou smiled. "Anywhere."

By Michiru