The Camping Trip
Shoujo Kakumei Utena: The Hidden Chapters
Chapter 5
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This is our first attempt at an Utena fic.
We haven't even done ones on our own :)
Our disclaimer: We've only seen to episode
29, so don't bug us.
We don't own the characters (Though we wish
We did... Utena locked in our basement in
Chains... heh heh) Saito Chiho and the
Be-PaPas own them, though.
This is fanfiction and may not follow the
'Ways of the Ohtori World'. If things are
a little different, just remember: It's just
fanfiction. Not the end of the world.
I made a funny. (And didn't mean to.)
Wanna add more, Ruka?
Nah, you've pretty much summed it up. Oh,
wait a minute, yeah, one thing. Like usual,
we don't want this fic posted anywhere else,
okay? Thanks.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
In Order of appearance..
Characters .. Played by
-----------------------
Anthy ....... Michiru
Utena ....... Haruka
Juri ........ Michiru
Touga ....... Michiru
Saionji ..... Haruka
Miki ........ Haruka
Other appearances by:
Guidance Councilor .... Michiru
Kozue.................. Michiru
Guest Appearances
Sumire....... Michiru
Kanna........ Haruka
Kouran....... Haruka
Iris......... Michiru
Orihime...... Haruka
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
(Anthy)
"You're all wet," Anthy stated.
[[Note from Utena: Always has been.]]
(Saionji)
Since it appeared neither of the girls were going to be polite enough
to HELP him in any way, Saionji struggled to pull himself out of the
flowing water. The bank was slippery, and it was hard to get a grip on
anything.
(Utena)
"Oh good!" Utena said suddenly, bending down. "He didn't squish the
froggy!"
[[Note from Saionji: Imagine my delight.]]
(Anthy)
"Oh, that's good!" She exclaimed, looking down at the adorable little
frog.
(Touga)
Touga felt sick. It felt like his guts were tying into knots, and he
didn't understand it.
(Juri)
"Did you ever go vomit the pokeberries?" Juri asked from where she was
getting the chestnuts ready to be put on the camp-fire.
(Touga)
"Ohhhhhh," he moaned, crawling to a bush, then throwing up.
(Juri)
"You know that you're face down in poison oak, right?"
[[Note from Touga: I hate you.]]
[[Note from Juri: Oh, goody :) (teach you to laugh at me...)]]
(Saionji)
Once again slipping back into the river, Saionji watched in disbelief
as the girls packed up their gear. "Anthy, help me!" he cried, holding
on by a single weed sticking out of the bank.
(Utena)
With a sigh, Utena looked at Anthy. "I suppose we _should_ help him.
I can't think of a GOOD reason, but since he asked you directly, it
would be downright mean to ignore him." She gave Saionji a mischievous
look. "He should first say 'please', though. And apologize for all the
times he hit you."
[[Note from Saionji: I hope I'm there when you fall off a cliff so I
can wave bye bye.]]
(Anthy)
"If you say so, Utena sama," Anthy smiled softly at Utena then
turned to look at Saionji, not making a move to help him until he apologized.
And secretly, she would relish it.
(Saionji)
The current had picked up a little and Saionji would not be able to
hold on for long. Gritting his teeth, he made a semblance of a smile.
"I apologize, Anthy, for anything I may have done in the past to hurt or
offend you. Would you please help me ashore?"
(Anthy)
"Utena sama, do you think he means it?"
(Utena)
"No, Anthy. That would require sincerity, something that he's not
capable of. But he _said_ it, and we both were witnesses, so we can
tell everybody."
(Anthy)
"Ok, then," Anthy leaned down and grabbed Saionji's arm. "Help me,
please?"
(Utena)
Taking hold of Dumbass' other arm, Utena braced her feet on the back
and began to pull.
[[Note from Utena: EW! I'm touching him! Cooties! Cooties!]]
[[Note from Saionji: You think I'M enjoying this?!]]
(Saionji)
How humiliating, Saionji thought as the girls began pulling him out.
To have to be rescued by his lady love and his worst enemy. Oh, the
shame of it all.
He was nearly all the way out when something large and dark loomed up
behind the pair. Saionji's eyes widened and his lips moved wordlessly
at first, then he managed to force it out. "BEAR!"
(Utena)
"WHAT?!" Utena dropped Saionji like a hot (rotting) potato and spun
around, nearly face-to-face with a black bear standing on hind legs.
"Anthy, watch out!" She dove, shoving Anthy to the side and covering
her with her own body. "The sword, Anthy! Can we draw out the sword?!"
(Anthy)
"Yes!" She squeaked, and said her chant at about 150 words per second.
the Rose Bride dress swooshed around her, and the sword burst forth in about a
second.
(Utena)
"Blah blah Revolution, I've-got-no-time-for-crap-speeches!" Utena
cried, grabbing the sword and turning to face the bear with murder in her eyes.
Only to find that the bear was ignoring them entirely, but enjoying the
fish they had caught immensely.
[[Note from Saionji: Speaking of being ignored ....]]
(Saionji)
"Hellllllp ... *glub glub*!" cried Saionji as he was completely
forgotten and left to be carried downstream.
(Anthy)
"Noooo!" Anthy cried running toward the bear. "That's OUR supper! You
can't have it!!!!"
(Utena)
"ANTHY, NO!" Utena ran after her, horrified. Dear God, let me reach
her in time, she thought.
(Anthy)
Anthy felt something step on her skirt.
*SPLAT*
(Utena)
*SPLAT*
Well, Utena thought as she fought to get air back into her lungs as she
lay on top of Anthy, at least I reached her in time ....
(Anthy)
"Why, Utena sama, I didn't know you cared like that," she teased from
under Utena.
(Bear)
*sniff sniff*
(Utena)
"AUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH!!!!! He's sniffing my HAIR!!!!!!!" Utena
scrambled to her feet and yanked Anthy up by the arm none-too-gently,
shoving her behind her and brandishing the sword at the bear. The
animal gave her a look of complete disinterest and turned back to the
fish.
"Now what do I do?" she said in exasperation. "I don't want to KILL
it, but I don't want to lose all our fish, either?"
[[Note from Saionji: HEY! Has no one noticed that I'm being swept down
the river!]]
[[Note from Anthy: Don't worry, Saionji sempai. You'll be washed down to the
lake where
the water is calm.. Of course, there IS that waterfall first...]]
(Anthy)
Anthy's eyes swirled from being pushed and pulled every which way. She
Leaned her head against Utena sama's shoulder and sighed. Her Prince.
(Porcupine)
*pad pad pad pad*
[[Note from Saionji: AHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh..........! *scream
gradually sounds further away*]]
(Utena)
There was a porcupine walking toward them from behind the bear - it
must have smelled the fish, too! Utena took a chance and advanced on
the bear. Two steps, she begged silently, just take two steps back ....
The bear eyed the sword in Utena's hand. Fish in mouth, it backed off
two steps - directly onto the porcupine. Its mouth opened in a vicious
roar, dropping the fish. It turned tail and limped off into the bush as
fast as it could go.
(Anthy)
"Yay, Utena sama!" Anthy shook the red and green pom poms she'd pulled
from Hammerspace. "Oh, dear," she looked a bit confused. "Where did Saionji
sempai go?"
Utena)
"Oops," Utena said, looking down the river. She pointed with the
sword. "I think he went that-a-way ...."
[[Note from Saionji: No note. DROWNED people can't WRITE notes!!!!!!]]
(Anthy)
"Do you think he'll be ok?" Anthy asked.
[[Note from Touga: How about me? I'm NOT ok! I've been poisoned, am puking my
guts out, and ALL in a patch of POISON OAK. ]]
[[Note from Juri: Who cares?]]
[[Note from Utena: I'm still trying to figure out how Juri, the
self-proclaimed 'city girl', recognized poison oak from a distance, when
Miki the Genius didn't recognize poison ivy when he was wallowing in it ....]]
(Utena)
Gazing down the river, there was no sign of Saionji. "Um, maybe he
pulled himself out somewhere along the way and ran for help with the
bear?" Utena suggested lamely. She really didn't know what they could
do about Saionji now.
[[Note from Saionji: Ha! You used my name instead of Dumbass! You did
it twice! *gloat*]]
[[Note from Utena: That's because it's evil to make fun of the dead.]]
[[Note from Saionji: Ugly Tomboy!!!!!]]
"Come on, we'd better get what's left of the fish back to camp," Utena
suggested and started gathering everything up.
[[Note from Juri: Because when I said it was there, it appeared. It works
that way, you know. You're just naturally charmed so you don't have to worry
about it. Anyway, I was getting him back for laughing at me.]]
(Anthy)
"Yes, Utena sama, Anthy smiled, gathering the rest of the fish. There
was still enough for 6... uh... 5 people.
Back in her shorts and t-shirt, she headed back to the camp, none the
worse for wear after their little adventure.
(Touga)
Touga finished applying calamine lotion to his face and hands, still
feeling wretched. The berries were only mildly poisonous, Juri finally told him,
but they'd make him feel bad for a bit. He looked up as Anthy walked into the
campsite.
[[Note from Anthy: No fair. You don't know where I was.]]
[[Note from Touga: You said you were heading back to camp.]]
[[Note from Anthy: But you don't know how far away I was. And I might have
wanted to have something happen!]]
[[Note from Touga: Like WHAT? You and Utena have gotten away scot free of
everything so far!]]
[[Note from Anthy: Of course, silly. We're the main characters. Who's in
every episode? Not you! US! In fact, you pretty much disappeared after
Utena whooped your... uh, pardon me. Dueled with you and won.]]
[[Note from Touga: Well, la-de-da. It should have been called Shounen Kakumei
Touga.]]
[[Note from Anthy: But then I'd have had to be YOUR bride.... ewwwww...]]
[[Note from Touga: Ewwwww? What do you mean by ewwwww?]]
[[Note from Anthy: I like being engaged to Utena sama. SHE doesn't ignore
me.]]
[[Note from Juri: Would you just GET ON WITH THE STORY!!!!!!!??!?!!!!!]]
[[Note from Anthy and Touga: Sorry!]]
(Anthy)
"Hello everyone!" Anthy smiled. "We have fish!"
(Juri)
"Food. Great," Juri nodded. "Where's Saionji? He went your way."
(Anthy)
"Saionji sempai? He fell into the river. When Utena sama and I tried
to save him, a bear came out, and we lost him. I suppose he's at the lake by
now," Anthy sat down with some water and began to clean the fish.
[[Note from Touga: Why didn't MY name come first in the above note? It should
have been Note from Touga and Anthy.]]
[[Note from Juri: Oh, SHADDUP!!!]]
[[Note from Touga: Hmph.]]
[[Note from Utena: Her name came first because of alphabetical order
and the old adage, 'ladies first'. Aren't you a gentleman?!]]
(Utena)
"You're not looking so good, Touga, did the pokeberries kick in?"
Utena looked toward him as she sat down to help Anthy. "Oh, by the way,
guys, we'll have to store the food on a high branch or something, so
that bear isn't attracted to our camp."
(Miki)
The stopwatch clicked. Miki scratched. "Yes, we certainly have enough
problems without that."
(Saionji)
*SPLOOSH*
When Saionji reached the surface of the water and realized he was no
longer being dragged by it, he recognized the area as being the lake
Juri had been in earlier. And that meant ....
"NOOOOO, NOT THE LEECHES!!!!!"
[[Note from Saionji: Yes, I definitely deserve the Good Sport Award for
this story ....]]
[[Note from Anthy: And I'm better than you.]]
[[Note from Juri: That's very un-Rose Bride-ish of you, Anthy.]]
[[Note from Anthy: I suppose it is. But Utena sama says things like that all
the time.]]
[[Note from Juri: But you're not her.]]
(Anthy - ignoring Juri)
Anthy put the cleaned fish into the skillet she brought with her, and
checked to see the fiddleheads were boiling away merrily. She saw the chestnuts
roasting on an open fire, and the raspberries were cleaned and ready for desert.
"We'll have plenty to eat tonight!" she called cheerfully.
(Juri)
"Just don't put curry in it," she muttered, getting up. "I'm going to
find Saionji, since everyone else seems intent on forgetting him."
(Saionji)
Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, YUCK!!!
They were everywhere, all over him, devouring his very life's blood!
AND IT WAS ALL UGLY TOMBOY'S FAULT!
[[Note from Utena: Hey, how so?!]]
[[Note from Saionji: It just IS!]]
[[Note from Utena: Oh, _that's_ mature ....]]
Standing on the side of the lake, Saionji pulled his clothes off and
tried to free himself of the leeches, but they were stuck fast.
"AUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!"
(Juri)
"AUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!"
It was the worst sight in her young life. A naked man.
"AUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!" she added calmly, and ran back up the path.
"AUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!" she mentioned in passing, as she ran through the
camp-- and kept going.
"AUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!" she decided to say as she fell off a small cliff
into a bog.
"AUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!" she cried as a million (and one - don't forget
that one) bugs descended on her as she slogged out of the stinking, filthy bog.
[[Note from Utena: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *ahem*]]
[[Note from Juri: Just wait until we get back, oh, Engaged One. *glare*]]
(Juri)
After calming down, she walked back to the camp, bugs buzzing over her
greasy-dirty form.
(Touga)
Looking up, Touga saw - "AH! It's the creature from the black
lagoon!!!!"
[[Note from Touga: Sorry, Juri, but that muck sticks all over you, and with
the flies everywhere...]]
[[Note from Juri: I hate you. I hate men.]]
(Utena)
"Juri?!" Utena gasped as she watched the calm orange-haired fencing
champion turn into a raving lunatic.
(Saionji)
"No, Juri, don't run away! Help meeeeeeeee!" Saionji ran through the
camp and stumbled off the cliff into the bog. "AUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!"
(Miki)
*blink* "I'm too young to be seeing this ...." Miki commented and went
back to scratching.
(Juri)
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh," Juri said, without enthusiasm, seeing the disgusting,
ugly, naked male body AGAIN.
[[Note from Juri: I think by now people know I prefer girls?]]
"I'm going to the river and clean off," she passed the disgusting
spectre of Saionji, and headed to the river.
(Anthy)
"I have seen naked men before, Utena sama. Of course, it was a MAN,"
she giggled. "He's got a really big leech on his cheek," she added.
(Juri)
Juri carefully took her clothes off, then washed them in the river.
The greasy muck went downstream to the lake. The waterfall looked tall enough
to shower under, an she was glad she brought her soap.
Stepping under the fall, she stretched her lithe, naked body, then
shook out her luxurious hair. The mud slid off her perfect skin, and flowed away.
[[Note from Juri: Before anyone says anything, it's called FAN SERVICE.]]
The water was cold, but tolerable. She began to lather the soap up,
and clean herself up.
(Raccoons)
*sniff sniff*
*snuff snuff*
"Chitter!" chittered raccoon number one.
"Chatter!!!" chattered raccoon number two agreeably.
"Chitter," chittered raccoon number one, grabbing Juri's pants and
running away.
"Chatter," chattered raccoon number two happily, and took her jacket
and under-wear, and ran off.
[[Note from Utena: Guess the raccoons have heard of fan service, too!]]
(Utena)
"Which cheek?" Utena answered Anthy in a groan, not really wanting to
know.
(Miki)
"It would be nice if you helped me, Touga-sempai," Miki suggested to
the student council president as he made an attempt to de-leech Touga's
supposedly best friend.
(Saionji)
"Ouch! Don't pull so hard, those things are ATTACHED! Ugh, ick, they
are GROSS!" He frowned in the direction Juri went, thinking how
insulting (or complimentary?) it was to have had her run screaming at
the sight of his manliness.
Hey, where were those raccoons going with clothes that looked like
Juri's? he wondered as he saw them pass through the brush. He smiled to
himself and kept his mouth shut.
TBC...