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My name is Bonnie, and I met my husband Sean on July
4, 1999, while talking on the Internet. I lived in
Missouri and he lived in Florida. I moved to Florida
in October of 1999 and we got married on February 7,
2000.
We found out we were pregnant in June 2001. I
had gone grocery shopping one day and happened to see
that pregnancy tests were buy one get one free. I knew
that I was late, but didn't think any think anything
about it because my periods have a mind of there own.
Well, I bought them anyway, because something in the
back of my mind told me to. I got home, put the
groceries away and tossed the bag with the pregnancy
tests in it into the bathroom so my husband wouldn't
see them. I went to the bathroom to take the test. I
saw that it was negative so I thought okay no big deal
I was just late. I sat the test on the side of our
bathtub and washed my hands. I picked up the test to
throw it away, but as I did, I saw that it had turned
positive. Wow, what a shock I thought, considering I
had just stopped taking my birthcontrol not even a
month ago.
At this time, my husband was laying on the
couch completely clueless about what I was going to
spring upon him. I brought the test to the livingroom
and let him see it. He was in complete shock, and said
he couldn't see the positive line. I just laughed at
him. Well, the next couple days were great, I was
pregnant and I had just started a job working at home.
One day while at work I had a lot of cramping so I
called my doctor on my lunch break to see if I could
get in that day for my first appointment and of course
they saw me. Turned out everything looked great and
they confirmed the pregnancy.
My husband came home
from work that night and said I really hope you are
pregnant because I am so excited now and can't wait. We
told his family that weekend that we were pregnant. It
was funny because my husbands father was asking us
when we were going to start having children just a few
weeks before we found out that we were pregnant. They
were shocked, but excited.
Well, the weeks passed by
and I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy, except for a
few time spotting but I went to the doctor right away
and they told me that spotting was normal. I went
through the morning sickness and couldn't wait until
that was over. Finally at about 3 1/2 months I
started feeling better and getting my energy back and
I was enjoying my pregnancy. I was wearing maternity
clothes and just enjoying the thought of becoming a
mother. After about 4 months I could feel Olivia
moving around and that was the most awesome feeling.
On
September 30, 2001, I was at my cousins birthday party
and I started cramping a little but I figured it was
because I had been standing a lot that day, so I sat
down and they went away. My mother in law and I were
talking and she said she wanted to buy the babies crib
and a few other things for us, so that got me really
excited. Also I was excited because in a week I was
going to have an ultrasound to see the sex of the baby
and my mother in law was going with my husband and I.
On October 01, 2001, my dreams of becoming a mother
were beginning to shatter but I had no idea what the
next couple of days were going to be like. I had gone
grocery shopping with my friend who was also pregnant
and I had started cramping again so we got home and I
laid on the couch and relaxed and her and my husband
put the groceries away for me. I remember telling my
friend I feel like I am in labor although I had no
clue what labor felt like. I decide that in the
morning I would call the doctor to see if this was
normal.
I got up on October 02, 2001 and felt great
but I called my doctor anyway just to be safe. Well, I
told the nurse that I was cramping and it was radiating
to my back and I felt like I was in labor, she told me
that it was just my uterus stretching and I told her
no this was not the same kind of pain that I knew what
my uterus stretching felt like and this was not it.
Well, I got an appointment that day and I saw the
doctor. They did a urine test to see if anything was
wrong that way and it came back negative for
infections. The doctor came in and pushed on my belly
which I told him was tender and he listened to the
heartbeat and he did a pelvic exam really quick and he
told me I had a bladder infection and gave me a
prescription and sent me home.
On October 03, 2001, I
went to Walmart to get it filled and I had started
cramping really bad so I came home and relaxed and
took my medicine and laid on the couch. It let up a
little bit so I went to bed and I couldn't get
comfortable and I just kept cramping really bad but I
just though okay I have had a bladder infection before
and it was painful so its going to be a little worse
with a baby laying on my bladder. Well, I went to the
bathroom and I was sitting on the toilet and I felt
the urge to push to have a bowel movement and my water
broke and I just had a lot of blood coming out. I got
my husband up and cleaned myself up and we went to the
hospital. When I got there the nurse couldn't get a
fetal heartbeat on the ultrasound, so she examined me
and told me that I was having a miscarriage.
They
moved me to a private room and gave me potossin to
progress my labor and they gave me a pain medication
also. Olivia was born asleep at 3:42 am on October
04, 2001. I got to hold her and tell her that I loved
her and that I was sorry that this had happened. I
barely remember holding her since I was so drugged up.
Also at that time we were told she was a boy so we
named her Justin Sean after my husband.
I was grateful
that my nurse took pictures of her and took her foot
prints and hand prints and put them in a nice folder
for me.
I went home that same day and my husbands
parents came over to spend the day with us. A couple
days later I had my doctors appointment and the
autopsy and chromosome reports were back and she was a
healthy baby and that is when I found out that he was
a she so I am in the process of changing her birth and
death records. The doctor determined that I have an
incompetent cervix.
There is not a day that goes by
that I don't think of her. I have a necklace with her
baby ring on it and it never comes off my neck, so she
is always with me.
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